I really need an advice of sb who’s been in the same situation. - Help.com



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I really need an advice of sb who’s been in the same situation.

I’ve met this wonderful guy a month ago and we’ve started dating. But just recently he told me a shocking story: he has a 5-year old kid and still lives with his ex-gf in the same apartment for the sake of the kid. He’s almost 24 and i’m 21. I know that their kid was never an ‘accident’ and, even being a young couple, they did plan for it. I really like this guy and it seems that he likes me too. I’m just really worried about his living situation. He told me that he’s not planning for the future, as he can’t really do that in his situation. He has a good job and has been very successful throughout his whole life. I really want to make things work for us, we fit each other really well and are having a truly great time every time we meet.
Do you think i can trust him? How can i be sure that he’s not just cheating both of us (me and his ex-gf)? I hope to get to know which worrying signs i should look out for. What exactly should i ask him or do in order to make sure that it is in fact over between him and his ex-gf and they are together just cause they don’t want to hurt the kid’s feelings.

I know that i’m really young to accept that kind of “baggage”. But being honest i don’t mind him having a kid at all. I actually think that makes him a great guy and adds to him as a person a lot. The only thing that bothers and troubles me a lot is his living arrangements. He is an extremely busy person and is almost never at home, he told me that his kid and ex-gf have a separate room, but still…

What do u think? Should i trust him? Or should i run away?

Thank you very much. I really hope to hear from sb soon…

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Capricorn offline Verified User (1 month, 2 weeks) Shouts: 78 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month ago (8 minutes after post)

What do you think?After a long duration relation with his ex if he is not commited to his ex-gf,Will he be for you?

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 150 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month ago (8 minutes after post)

If that is true what he says, tell him to introduce you to his five year old and his ex. If he refuses, he is just two timing you and then you should run away from this guy.

But, in my opinion, you should just run for your life and away from this guy anyway. Does not sound like a promising relationship anyway.

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efuasantewacoc offline Verified User (6 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month ago (4 hours, 59 minutes after post)

If its a serious relationship, ask to meet his kid, or his ex, or both. i agree. if he won’t introduce you to his “ex” then he has something to hide. if he doesn’t, then he should have no problem doing that.

a lot of parents live together for the sake of the child, even after they break up. ultimately, its not good for the child. maybe when they are babies, its better to have both parents around. but to grow up in an environment where you see a “couple” that don’t love each other is not good lessons for a growing mind.

good luck. don’t leave him just b/c they live together. tell him how you feel. see if he will introduce you and calm your concerns. good luck either way.

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Anonymous #
1 month ago (5 hours, 49 minutes after post)

hi, thank you all for your replies!!!

i’ve actually been thinking about all these for the past week
the only thing that bothers me is that we’ve been together for such a little time and, being in his shoes, i wouldn’t want my child to meet with every person i start dating. kids do get attached to new ppl easily and then its hard and very painful to explain them why ppl disappear sometimes.

do u think i should wait a bit?
also a sub-question: do you think a guy who’s been in a long-term relationship before can get serious about sb new that fast? i mean should i expect him to be serious after a month of dating?

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