relationship help: I just broke up with someone that I’m in-love with. - Help.com

Why didn’t you want to be with her? Did you tell her why?

Dear Mike;

I just broke up too. I feel like you do. But I won’t call him. We have been going out as “friends” for just the same period as you have with your “friend”. Things started to get more serious a few months ago. He would do the most amazing things, then drop off the radar. I felt amazing when he did these things of course and wanted to hang around for more. Why would he do this?

It doesn’t matter in the end. Why would your girlfriend do this to you? In the end it doesn’t matter either. We want to understand, know why? Because if we understand, maybe then we can fix it. But we cannot. We can only control our side of the situation. Don’t call her.

Don’t call her, don’t call her, don’t call her. Who knows why she is so insecure? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. You and I are givers, we want to help because we need to feel needed. For us, it is better to feel needed by people who don’t love us than not to feel needed at all. But what we really need is to feel loved. You don’t feel loved. Don’t call her.

We both need some self respect. Should she have treated you better? YES. Should my boyfriend have treated me better. YES. Did they? NO. Why would we keep going after this then? I’ve answered that question.

Once you change your patterns, healthier people will be attracted to you. I’m trusting in this philosophy because I want to call him. I am not going to and it’s taking every effort not to. I want to break the pattern. I will.

You can too.

This is what I honestly think. I you truly love her and she truly loves you, you should try to talk to her again. If the only reason for you to be apart is because she talked about other guys, it’s definetly worth a shot trying to get back together. I’ll tell you why. I am also in one of these kinds of long-distance relationships. I am away from home and my boyfriend most of the year because of college. When we do see eachother, we know we are in love and that it will always be worth the wait. I’m ashamed to say it, but I made a mistake like your girlfriend did. I told him several times about how various guys would ask me out and how I denied them. I didn’t tell him to make him bored, or jealous, or worried, or anything like that. I told him that to prove that I still wanted to be with him and only him. I guess he didn’t interpret it that way either. But we talked about it and everything is okay now. So I really think you should try talking to her again. Just tell her to give you a chance to explain how you feel. It’s all probably just a misunderstanding.