why am I such an uninteresting person? - Help.com

Why do you think that?

LOL, thats really a funny question

your jus different from other people. but y do u think that

how can a pretty woman like you, think they are uninteresing??? surely you have LOADS of friends and a boyfriend!!!!!

I have always felt that I’m pretty uninteresting too. I used to bother me, but now I don’t care. I live like I want and I have fun in my own way and don’t have to answer to anyone.

And I’m sure you are interesting in your own way!

I don’t think you are.

I don’t think you are urn interesting but if you think you are find some passion in life and you will become interesting without even trying..”

urn=un

has someone said something to you, in order for you to come out with a statement like that?

If you want to be interesting:

- read a completely different genre of book
- watch a completely different genre of movie
- go eat stuff you’ve never eaten
- listen to music totally different from your usual
- visit a place you’ve never been to (gallery, museum, part of town… chinatown, etc.)
- do stuff that frightens you (travel, whitewater rafting, paragliding, flying, ballooning, dog sledding)
- do stuff you don’t think you can do (train for races, etc.)

That is the essence of being interesting.

what about listening to your music full belt
then dancing around like a lunatic!

does that count as being interesting or just totally insane lol!

edowen wrote:
how can a pretty woman like you, think they are uninteresing??? surely you have LOADS of friends and a boyfriend!!!!!

pretty isn’t everything.

I think u are pretty Steff

They made a nice practical joke about this in Drake&Josh, “Drake&Josh go Hollywood”.

Josh: Do you think I’m… boring?

*Room is empty*

Josh: You just walked out?!

Megan: I got bored!

People aren’t walking out on you, miss Raver, so I don’t think you’re boring! :D

i know pretty isnt everything steff but, generally if you are pretty then people are more likely to want to know you and therefore you are more likely to do things i.e. pub, culbbing, bowling, cinema, and it is much, much easier to get a boy/girlfriend if you are pretty.

♥Rαvєr♥ wrote:
I do enough interesting stuff, I just feel like no body would know if I were to disappear. I’m not feeling suicidal so its not that - but honestly. No one checks in on me, no one remembers things i’ve said or things I like. I feel like no one is bothered about me.

When i’m with a bunch of strangers everyone loves me and thinks i’m cool. But with friends who *last longer* it doesn’t seem like i’m interesting.

That’s just because most people are very self-centered, and you can’t blame them since they have their own life to take care of. But they always notice someone the most when they’re gone.

i get the same thing with my friends, its because you feel that you have nothing exciting to say to your friends and that most of the things that you talk about is mostly about work or going out - even thought they were with you, dont worry i get the same problem. to solve this you could get a new hobby, like a new sport etc. by doing this you will feel much more interesting to your friends because you have things that you can talk about that they didnt know that you did

Speak up

aeolian mode wrote:
I think u are pretty Steff

lol thanks rob, just makes me mad that so many people concentrate on looks. of course she’s pretty but that has nothing to do with her problem!

trop mignonne and I can étre ton petit ami !

i’ll be your friend if you like and i will respect you and i will listen to everything you have to say, and i would notice if you had disappeared, have faith in yourself, im in the same situation as my *mates* left me in school while they went to town to get food and i think that they wouldn’t miss me if i was gone, but i know they will because they would be a winger less in rugby training and one less friend to play with on the ps3. (im not a pervert even though i sound like one at the start of this post)

Now I feel exactly the same way about work.

hmmm you sound like a perv..

i know i do but im trying to help raver (**** im digging myself into a bigger hole) if you dont believe me look at my facebook

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pro…

♥Rαvєr♥ wrote:
I really think if I disappeared they wouldn’t notice, I don’t think anyone would. I could stay away from here for example and no one would notice.

I feel totally unrespected, I do just as much work as everyone else at work - even more than a couple of people and they all treat me like I must sit there twiddling my thumbs or something. Yet i’m the most stressed with the least help. I don’t rub it in their faces though so thats not why..

But if you’re gone, who will make games to take our minds off the normal posts?

♥Rαvєr♥ wrote:
I really think if I disappeared they wouldn’t notice, I don’t think anyone would. I could stay away from here for example and no one would notice.

I feel totally unrespected, I do just as much work as everyone else at work - even more than a couple of people and they all treat me like I must sit there twiddling my thumbs or something. Yet i’m the most stressed with the least help. I don’t rub it in their faces though so thats not why..

I would notice if you left from. I think its ur perception of urself i think is the difficulty. how you think of yourself will likely affect the way others see you.

do you think you do things you find interesting?

Anonymous wrote:
hmmm you sound like a perv..

LOL how may i ask?

not you……

im the one who sounds like a perv, but im not, im trying to help raven and other people, especially as this is website is caled HELP.COM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back to the topic people…..

edowen wrote:
i know pretty isnt everything steff but, generally if you are pretty then people are more likely to want to know you and therefore you are more likely to do things i.e. pub, culbbing, bowling, cinema, and it is much, much easier to get a boy/girlfriend if you are pretty.

I dont think thats true.
many ppl ive met who i consider attrative usually are as insecure as every1 else.

♥Rαvєr♥ wrote:
I really think if I disappeared they wouldn’t notice, I don’t think anyone would. I could stay away from here for example and no one would notice.

I feel totally unrespected, I do just as much work as everyone else at work - even more than a couple of people and they all treat me like I must sit there twiddling my thumbs or something. Yet i’m the most stressed with the least help. I don’t rub it in their faces though so thats not why..

You seem to want approval from other people to make you feel valuable. Here’s the horrifying truth: EVERYONE wants approval from other people to feel valuable. So everyone sits around waiting for someone else to give it. The more you need approval, the less likely others will give it– because they feel why should they give something they don’t get.

If you want respect - make a practice of giving it. Be the example of what you want. Then what happens is you enjoy living that way and you stop needing approval from others anyway.

As long as your self worth goes up and down with how much people approve of you, you’re going to have a slippery foundation for self-esteem.

linuxya wrote:

♥Rαvєr♥ wrote:
I really think if I disappeared they wouldn’t notice, I don’t think anyone would. I could stay away from here for example and no one would notice.

I feel totally unrespected, I do just as much work as everyone else at work - even more than a couple of people and they all treat me like I must sit there twiddling my thumbs or something. Yet i’m the most stressed with the least help. I don’t rub it in their faces though so thats not why..

You seem to want approval from other people to make you feel valuable. Here’s the horrifying truth: EVERYONE wants approval from other people to feel valuable. So everyone sits around waiting for someone else to give it. The more you need approval, the less likely others will give it– because they feel why should they give something they don’t get.

If you want respect - make a practice of giving it. Be the example of what you want. Then what happens is you enjoy living that way and you stop needing approval from others anyway.

As long as your self worth goes up and down with how much people approve of you, you’re going to have a slippery foundation for self-esteem.

exactly!!!!!!!!

1- Work problems? Get “Coping with difficult people”
http://www.amazon.com/Coping-Difficul…

2. Don’t have good friends? Join social groups (meetup.com) and exercise groups (running, swimming, biking) and classes (dance, language, cooking). You’ll meet lots of people you can talk to. You’ll find a few you’ll want to keep up with.

3. Focus on being a source of energy for others. People hate negativity, being pushed or questioned or bossed, having their values questioned. People also avoid people who take up too much of their time, seem clingy or desperate. The answer to all of this is to be busy chasing your own goals so that work and friends benefit from your energy but aren’t the sole source of it.

The nature of this website is that if you are consatantly here and active with posts, replies etc, you get noticed. Plus of course sending shouts and answering invites.
The work place is and always will be a place of contention. The bottom rung wanting to advance to management, management to directors and so on. Definately not the friendliest of environments.

I hope the weekend will help to end this down part you are experiencing, you know your own worth in your world. If it isn’t the way you want it to be, you will have to change it to suit yourself.

It’s what you think and know about yourself that matters, if you are happy with what you are within yourself, then it isn’t you that needs to change.

I’d notice. I check my email 10 times a day to see if I have anything from you. I worry about you when I don’t hear from you and do my best not to annoy you with my own problems lol. You are by and large the best friend I have and I promise i’ll do everyting I cam to get over there. I know your talking about friends and people you see everyday, but I want you to know that if you disappeared I’d come looking for you hon.

♥Rαvєr♥ wrote:
So if i’m happy and satisfied with myself, how do I learn to accept that other people don’t think the same thing? When I’m a bubbly friendly chatterbox how do I learn not to talk?

“Other people” are lonely, insecure and want to be respected and liked, just like you.

Be yourself. If you want more friends, read “How to start a conversation and make friends” by Don Gabor. It’s all about focusing on other people to make them feel important and interesting and to make you approachable.

The more you focus on what you are not getting, the more you are like everyone else… unhappy and needy. If you want friends, you give them what they need and they give it back to you.

Dont know how to answer that. I dont see a need for you to change, if your nature is to be a bubbly friendly chatterbox, then why would you need to change.

lol well as long as I’m being counted on some level, cause you’re a very important person to me.

I honestly think that it’s just the way people are. I mean, I think I’m a pretty nice and friendly person, but I’ve been at this school for 3 years now and I don’t have a single friend. I spend every night by myself, and I’ve had to learn to live with it.

Eventually though, you’ll meet someone whose personality is conducive to having other friends. Someone who is open and looking for it, and believe me love, you’ll “wow” them.

Until that time though, I want you to email me whenever you can. I get emails and msn on my phone now, so I can check them when I have a wifi connection. You’re incredible darling, you’ll get through this just fine, and you’ll find the right people eventually.

Perhaps they are jealous of you at work, you probably get on with your work and dont slack a lot. They might think you will progress sooner than they will.
There could be many reasons. I will never know them, niether will you.
Most people tend to think of themselves and there own wants, not just their needs. They arent always kind, some of them dont want to be. They would rather hurt others than to be friendly.
I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better towards yourself, at least I think I tried to.
I wish I could get up to you, buy you a propper meal some food and some petrol. That might be part of your problem as well, are you getting enough nourishment to keep your body and mind healthy.

♥Rαvєr♥ wrote:
No I can’t afford any food for the rest of this month really. So probably not. I’ve got bits and bobs left over. But I don’t eat very much. I have a couple of pieces of bread at lunch time at work and don’t eat breakfast. But I can’t afford to so its not an option. I guess it doesn’t help me to feel well if i’m not eating properly but I have no choice.

Oh, that’s pretty horrible…

why dont u have much?

Then it’s no wonder you feel down and a bit depressed. If there is a way to get you some help for this month, would that help?
How would the best way be to get you what I said above.

Then would it help if I get you the things mentioned above and how would you like that help to be given?
I can get to a station where you live, I just cant remember which one it is. Tomorow is the soonest I can get there.

This isn’t a loan, it’s an early Christmas present. You wont be getting into more debt.
I understand you dont want help from others, this is a genuine offer to help you get back on your feet. I know it isn’t a lot but it would help a little bit.
So The offer is here, one more final answer from you please. This one I will accept without further offers.

♥Rαvєr♥ wrote:
I can’t accept any one elses help, that will just get me in a bigger mess - I owe money to my parents already as well as other things. I really appreciate your offer though, but I will have to turn it down. I’ll be fine honest, I have £4 for food next week so if I can get a cheap loaf of bread for about 60p I could afford to buy some more stuff like some stuffing mix, rice etc. I’m planning to go near closing time so I can get all the reduced stuff too.

There is a visible difference between the need for independence and stuborness.
If someone’s offering you their hand, don’t decline it under the claim you can get up by yourself unless they plan on falsely helping you.

Spunkey lady you are Raver, I accept your last reply. If things get realy bad let me know.

youre not, so shutup :P

Maybe a good friend who can look past the superficial and stick around even when they know the good and bad about you is what you need. They are hard to find, but definetly exist.
Good Luck :)

I know its unfortunate that such distance keeps people separated. But don’t despair, find out what you really like to do apart from any intoxicated activity because the best friend you can find won’t just be around for the intoxicating excitement, they’ll be around with or without such things. And I find that people are a lot friendlier when its at a party or something and although they maybe friends, I have never found a good friend at such a place. So what I do is check out the places of high interest to me and meet people with similar interests. This is a good starting point, then I simply follow the rule, “To have (a) good friend(s), you must first be a good friend.” :)

♥Rαvєr♥ wrote:
Where do I find one of these friends?

There seems to be some really great ones here on the internet, but everyones a million miles away.

well i am looking for a flatmate…

Raver and Courty! Flatmates! sounds fun!

or the beginning of the apocolypse lol

hi i can see what,s going on here, especially with your boss and workmates, i only had to look at your picture for the answer, your extremely beautiful, and they are all jeolous of you they can,t be the center of attention at work with you there, it must be you getting all the looks, perhaps without you even noticing, trust me they are noticing, and it,s killing them, kindness towards them wont help either,they have the problems not you

all your workmates and boss are jeolous of you, so pretty who will look at them while your there to look at, there problem not yours, they all see you being looked at not them, it,s killing them, have you not noticed this yourself

2008butc wrote:
all your workmates and boss are jeolous of you, so pretty who will look at them while your there to look at, there problem not yours, they all see you being looked at not them, it,s killing them, have you not noticed this yourself

Who cares if she’s pretty!??? Of course she is, but that has nothing do to with the problem at hand.

Read this book

“Coping with difficult people” (library probably has copies)

http://www.amazon.com/Coping-Difficul…

You will be able to identify all the types in your office (including yourself!) and learn how to deal with them effectively.

Remember that all poor behaviour comes from anxiety. When people are confident, they act with humility and consideration. So any other kind of behaviour shows these people are insecure and afraid. When you address those insecurities directly rather than getting distracted by their rudeness and bullying, you can have a much different experience with them. They will start respecting you instead of being afraid of you.

♥Rαvєr♥ wrote:
[quote linuxya](library probably has copies)

perception

It is hard for me to imagine you are an uninteresting person.

I have not read through all the post so I do not know what all has been said. I am just wondering if this is some tilting thinking on your part. Even when you are not depressed, you can start see things and start worrying and focusing on it until you have really skewed your view on it.

I know that happens with me. I start focusing on how I look and then with in a few days I feel ugly. Then I start thinking how can my husband want to be with me. It is all part of the depression. It is like the start that can suck you in and pull you down.

Do you think that is what is happening here? Because you are such a fun person.

Let me just add that I think you are a beautiful young lady and it is sometimes hard for beautiful girls to make friends. Because some will hate you for your beauty, some will not want to be around you so they will not be compared to you, and some will not give you a change to really get to know you. That has been my experience any way. I had a cousin-in-law who once told me sister she always hated me, and my sister asked “why, she has never done anything to you.” She said because she is so pretty. I hated to be around her and compare myself to her. Luckily she grew as a person and realized physical appearance is not the whole of who you are.

raver raver rave
how you percieve yourself determins how you portray your self
as you see so you show

pretty is as pretty does

Raver, have you contacted a debt/insolvency counsellor?

A debt counsellor assists people with getting out of debt: consolidating debts, getting lower interest rates and better payment terms, talking with creditors, etc.

If you are in a really tough spot, a debt counsellor may just be the answer you need. At the very least, google for some in your area and call them up to ask for some advice.

I think your very interesting. considering you helped me out big time a couple times now so i would defitinly(i know thats not how its spelt) notice your gone. Maybe you just need to get some better friends that would notice you if u disapeared. and from what i see above, i think that there is a very long list of ppl in that line.

finding friends
now thats a valuable
vaalluuaabbllee valuable thing
a real true friend
you know how rare that is?
how hard it would be to actualy get one?
they are not realy available to \often you know
i am looking for one
but i’m pretty gready
i want my friend aaallll for my self
put a marriage ring on it’s finger and make it all mine
nobody gets any ! mine i say !
muah ha ha ha
pretty sure i just scared someone
likethatdoncha
i got a dog insted of a friend
actualy i do have some friends
awsem people
would like to share them if your in ohio

Um ok this post totally went on. but Looking at your pic your special heck i’m a girl and i think you hot lol
but were all diff to another person but ourselves i mean your with you all the time you feel bland while for anothere you r like a new exploration

speak up for yourself raven, become a doormat and you will continue to be treated like one, confront old square face and give her a peice of your mind, you will be surprised how peoples attitude can change through simple dialoque, tell her and the rest of your workmates exactly how you feel, what the changes towards you, good luck