Love help: Love is Devil or God? - Help.com



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Love is Devil or God?

I am deeply in love with a guy since past 6 yrs and cant think of life without him. He too cant think of any girl in his life other than me. This should have otherwise been a very happy relationship if not for his possessiveness and insecurity about me. Because of his insecurity he thinks i get attracted to other guys. Whatever I say to some guy he makes a different meaning of it and if he finds out I had been talking to some guy I had not told him about then he thinks I purposefully hid it from him. We have a long distance relationship since last 4 yrs and meet once in a year. May be because of the distance he feels more insecure. He has shelled himself away from me, doesnt share any of his feelings with me. Neither does he care about my feelings, am not able to share anything with him as he doesnt listen. I dont get any emotional support from him which I crave so much from him. He even tried to breakup with me several times but within a few months came back to me everytime. Even I have tried to part with him but its not possible. He says he wants to marry me because he feels deep inside he loves me, but also that he expects nothing from me and I should also expect nothing from him. I feel lonely and suffocated even when am with him, its like a thick impenetrable wall between us. I feel very upset. But at the times when we have broken up I have physically felt sick. I have even gone through an acute attack of psychosis last year when I had freaked out for my fear of loosing him. And he came running to be beside me at that time leaving all his important work. Is there anything I can do to change the way he thinks about me and the way he treats me?

This open post was written 3 weeks, 1 day ago | V/U/S: 98, 6, 1 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Subscribe to Replies | Report Post


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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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Love, marriage, life, Relationships (Edit Tags) (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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BIG AL 1 online Verified User (1 month, 1 week) Shouts: 469 Add Friend #
An Unknown Location | 3 weeks, 1 day ago (50 minutes after post)

There’s a lot to sort through, concerning your matter. Various issues of character scattered with a long distance relationship and contemplations of marriage within this dynamic, etc. Whew! Pretty tough. Both of you seem to have your own investment. . .in luggage. Do you think that if you two were in physical proximity of each other that things would change? He’d be able to validate (if not in his own mind), “all the cheating you’re doing.” And you’d be spending an exhaustive ammount of energy trying to convence him otherwise. How healthy of a relationship do you believe that to be?
Six years, and this is what it is, right now. Can you imagine the serious dynamic of a long-term co-dependant relationship both of you would have if you really got together? Just something to think about.

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nab offline Verified User (3 weeks, 1 day) Shouts: 1 Add Friend #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 weeks, 1 day ago (1 hour, 46 minutes after post)

Thanks Allan for your reply. I have exhausted my mind thinking all the time. Thats why I am seeking help from unknwn people. Usually I dont depend on others opinion of what I should do, I always figure it out myself. But in this case I am lost. I need some opinion from a matured person who knows whats marriage is about and when can it be a success.

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BIG AL 1 online Verified User (1 month, 1 week) Shouts: 469 Add Friend #
An Unknown Location | 3 weeks, 1 day ago (1 hour, 55 minutes after post)

Allow me to come clean, if you will. I’m not married, but I am a person of more than reasonable age. Much of my experience does come from the relationships I’ve had as a younger person. As well, my experience of marriage is directly linked to many close friends who are, themselves, married. (trust me, they wet my shoulders on more than one occasion with tears).
I believe it’s okay to have a view of what both marriage is and is not. Same said for relationships. Keep true to your visions and someday, sooner than later, I imagine that you will be in a sound relationship that comes closest to your definition of both. . .

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Help me with: Peeling songs from Ipod to desktop and add to library.

Anonymous edited this post 3 weeks, 1 day ago. Read the previous text »

Love is Devil or God?I am deeply in love with a guy since past 6 yrs and cant think of life without him. He too cant think of any girl in his life other than me. This should have otherwise been a very happy relationship if not for his possessiveness and insecurity about me. Because of his insecurity he thinks i get attracted to other guys. Whatever I say to some guy he makes a different meaning of it and if he finds out I had been talking to some guy I had not told him about then he thinks I purposefully hid it from him. We have a long distance relationship since last 4 yrs and meet once in a year. May be because of the distance he feels more insecure. He has shelled himself away from me, doesnt share any of his feelings with me. Neither does he care about my feelings, am not able to share anything with him as he doesnt listen. I dont get any emotional support from him which I crave so much from him. He even tried to breakup with me several times but within a few months came back to me everytime. Even I have tried to part with him but its not possible. He says he wants to marry me because he feels deep inside he loves me, but also that he expects nothing from me and I should also expect nothing from him. I feel lonely and suffocated even when am with him, its like a thick impenetrable wall between us. I feel very upset. But at the times when we have broken up I have physically felt sick. I have even gone through an acute attack of psychosis last year when I had freaked out for my fear of loosing him. And he came running to be beside me at that time leaving all his important work. Is there anything I can do to change the way he thinks about me and the way he treats me?

nab offline Verified User (3 weeks, 1 day) Shouts: 1 Add Friend #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 weeks, 1 day ago (3 hours, 13 minutes after post)

Anyone else with any opinion? Anything positive?

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nab offline Verified User (3 weeks, 1 day) Shouts: 1 Add Friend #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 weeks, 1 day ago (5 hours, 50 minutes after post)

allan_wilco wrote:
Both of you seem to have your own investment. . .in luggage.

Thanks again Allan. Few hours back I didnt realise the meaning of this. And it disturbed me a bit. I still dont know what you really meant by investment and luggage. But while reading a book - ‘A new earth’ I have got insight into my luggage and it is quite heavy.

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