boyfriend help: . - Help.com

It’s not fair to him. He wants to be the hero but in the end he’s going to end up resenting you. Let him go!

Just be happy. Don’t waste your time worrying. When something good comes into your life just be thankful.

if you don’t want him, i’ll have him! ;)

how old is he? if he is mature and understands what he is getting himself into, why should you feel guilty?! just enjoy it and be happy.. i’ve been a single mum for 5 years now, it ain’t easy..

good luck!

I agree with M.y.a ,he sounds a treasure, just let him know how much you appreciate him for what he is doing,bringing that child into the world with love and security is what counts, relax and enjoy being loved :-)

Sadie Slice wrote:
he’s 23 and i’m 18. i’m not ready to be a parent, but he is. i still live with my mom since i’m a senior in high school, but he is over everyday. he cares SOO much. he buys my prenatal vitamins,brings me whatever i crave, and is so loving to me. he’s even willing to tell everyone that the baby’s his to help me out socially. he will be a great daddy to my baby, but i don’t feel like i’m being the best girlfriend.

M.y.a wrote:
if you don’t want him, i’ll have him! ;)

how old is he? if he is mature and understands what he is getting himself into, why should you feel guilty?! just enjoy it and be happy.. i’ve been a single mum for 5 years now, it ain’t easy..

good luck!

Being pregnant at 18 is hard hon, you are going through a lot of changes yourself and adjusting to this big change in your life,there are not many men that would raise another mans child as their own for sure. Just think things over, you do have options in this. You can put the child up for adoption, be a single mother ,accept this guys offer, there are other ways if your not happy, but dont leave your decision too long.

Sadie Slice wrote:
he will be a great daddy to my baby, but i don’t feel like i’m being the best girlfriend.

from what you describe he seems mature enough and he seems to love you. you are still living with your parents so i suppose he does not have to support you financially, so what’s the harm in dating him? you need emotional support right now.

and why don’t you feel like you are being the best gf? because you are pregnant? many people are in a similar situation, many single parents, they eventually find a partner again, i don’t see a problem in that. make sure you show him your appreciation and just be happy!

are your parents happy with him dating you? you are not planning to get back with the father of your child, are you?

littlenick wrote:
It’s not fair to him. He wants to be the hero but in the end he’s going to end up resenting you. Let him go!

some do like to be fake heros, don’t they? that’s so shallow.. i hope that it is not the case of Sadie Slice’s bf..

Sadie Slice wrote:
i’m definately gonna keep the baby, but i might ditch the boyfriend or who knows i might get hitched. he loves me and wants to get married this summer. i haven’t given him my answer yet… and he’s being surprisingly patient about that.

The important thing is you have somebody to love you and the child so you can both raise he/she to be happy and secure, for the babies sake be sure of what you want, I wish you the best of luck :-)

Be very careful here
He is not the father and pretending he is will cause problems
He is not ready to be a father, especially to a child that isnt his, no one is ever ready, regardless of age or behavior.
You and he alike have no idea what your in for.
You can not be assured that you will be together forever , what happens when in 5 years time you fall out, you will then have to deal with the fact he really isnt the father and that alone will be extremely traumatic for your child, daddy’s leaving oh and hey he’s not really my daddy!
Its great he is supportive and accepting of the whole package you bring but the reason you feel guilty is because you know its not honest.
If you want to do this right you need to bite the bullet and accept things how they really are, this is not his child, telling people, or letting him tell people that he is the father is whats causing your guilt
Sit down with him and develop some boundaries. Be honest about all this, because the way your going about it your not thinking of the child you carry, your both thinking about yourselves.
You cant let him continue like the babys father, be honest and have him be your boyfriend who is willing to accept your bundle.
Tell others the truth now, it will be alot harder when/if you break up and you have to admit the whole thing was a lie to others and your baby

anonymous wrote:
Be very careful here
He is not the father and pretending he is will cause problems

You cant let him continue like the babys father, be honest and have him be your boyfriend who is willing to accept your bundle.
Tell others the truth now, it will be alot harder when/if you break up and you have to admit the whole thing was a lie to others and your baby

i agree on this one

just an added bit…
you would be surprised the bond that can be created with someone who is willing to accept you and your child on an honest ground, your not really creating that bond now, more like your playing mummies and daddies like when you were 5
if you want a real life grown up family you need to do it in a grown up way

don’t worry about it. If the guy likes you then there isn’t a problem. If he wants to be there for you and the child then thats ace! it’s a good thing.

No, he sounds like a great person so don’t worry. But I think you two should wait until later to get married since you’re still a senior and getting ready for college. God bless you and your baby and boyfriend!

Sadie Slice wrote:
i’m definately gonna keep the baby, but i might ditch the boyfriend or who knows i might get hitched. he loves me and wants to get married this summer. i haven’t given him my answer yet… and he’s being surprisingly patient about that.

He seems mature. by that sentiment, you most certainly dont.
i hope you realise that a baby is a far more permanent attachment, and you cant just toss it aside when you get bored of it.

certainly hope so.

I have the same problem in a way. I’m almost three months pregnant, but not by the gut i wanted to be. By a guy i decided to cheat on my again now current boyfriend. Throughout our relationship he had been cheating and whatnot, I kept forgiving him. But then one day i get fed up when i found out he was still chesting on my birthday. So i said forget him i’m going to do it back. At the time we were on one of our little break. Well i did go out and cheat, and being careless got pregnant. Twice, unprotected each was very dumb not only could i’ve gotten pregnant but caught a disease i couldnt get rid of. Thank god i didn’t. Anywho my boyfriend and i were happy but i knew in the pit of my stomach i had to tell him cheated, because when i counted numberless and numberless of times it didn’t add up to him. And the other two guys were total *** holes to me when i tried to explain to them. First guy, he said it couldn’t be his cause my boyfirend was cheating on me so much and i was cheating. Make any sense???? The second guy said he can’t be the father cause his current girl was already six months pregnant and that he couldn’t tell his family that he had two ******* baby’s by two different mother’s they would get on his ***. When i told my boyfriend he resented me called me all kinds of names and said alot of things i desevered. So for awhile i had alot of guilt and depression. Like suicidle depression,abortion depression cause deep down i knew i did wrong. Two wrongs dont make a right. But you see me and my boyfriend had been through alot i had never cheated on him befroe and other things we went through. Well here about two days ago we were talking cause after awhile he forgave me and said we could be firends. And i was very happy for that because i truely did love this guy. Like outside of all the bad things that happened the good out wieghed the bad. Isn’t that what counts??? Anywho about two days ago we talked and he said he couldn’t do it. Meaning that he said that he loved me too much and couldn’t see hisself without me. He did his wrongs and i did mine. And that he wanted to work it out, he didn’t care that the baby was not his because he said any guy can make a baby but it takes a man to be a father. Just that it would hurt knowing that it was not his, but he said he could love it just as his own. And that he did’nt care that he loved me and didn’t want to spend another day apart.He said he thought about me day in and day out. Alot of things i was doing on my part as well, missing him. Well yesterday we finally seen each other after a period of time. And i thought things maybe different or weird, but he didnt treat me any different he treated me as the same girl he loved. Didnt bring up the baby just showed me a good time. I need help i’m felling guilty to. He says he wants to be with me and the child he does not care. But i dont want to get all the way down the road in this and he say he can’t do this anymore. Someone please help!!!!!!!!

im sorry to hear that i truly am god will bless you abundtly just have faith ok? and i’m scared that he’s going to be there but he gone end up leaving cause he cant just take it

your very lucky and its good to hear your taking a healthy approach to this.
My daughter has not known her real father, she has known another man to be her father as far back as she can remember, but we’ve never denied the truth, she understands that her ‘dad’ isnt the one who made her, I really feel bringing her up with the truth has ensured she isnt shocked later on, and has also avoided her asking herself whats real (u know how adopted kids kinda know somethings up)
my daughter is 9, has a very healthy relationship with the man she chooses to call dad of her own fully informed will