Probably because you are not honest enough with your feelings. A lot of times people push others away by rationalizing certain things about another person’s characteristics and actions, causing you to feel weird or awkward. You hesitate to talk to them. It’s too hard to be honest with them and let them know your true feelings.
The barrier is a communication barrier!
maybe because the illusion may not grasp the subtleness of life??
on further thought, the barrier too is an illusion.
It exists only if you think it’s there, and for no other reason.
“A lot of times people push others away by rationalizing certain things about another person’s characteristics and actions, causing you to feel weird or awkward” what do you mean by that?
I guess i do struggle to be honest with my feelings.
Did that happen to you recently?
‘the barrier too is an illusion.
It exists only if you think it’s there, and for no other reason.’ that is very deep. i do think a lot of what goes through my head is unreal and most of the time i dont grasp what goes on around me too well.
Anonymous
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3 months, 2 weeks ago (16 minutes after post)
what’s stressing you out dear?
are you not liking the fact that you can’t grasp things around you at first glance? or at a faster pace??
littlenick wrote:
Did that happen to you recently?
yeah
Anonymous wrote:
what’s stressing you out dear?
are you not liking the fact that you can’t grasp things around you at first glance? or at a faster pace??
yes, and i really think me having a limited understanding of what goes on around me relates to me having aspergers syndrome (autism). like when i go into groups of people i find it daunting because too much happens and i pick up such little information and things can get confusing.
but yeah, i really wish i could pick up things at a faster pace.
spiritedsoul wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
what’s stressing you out dear?
are you not liking the fact that you can’t grasp things around you at first glance? or at a faster pace??
yes, and i really think me having a limited understanding of what goes on around me relates to me having aspergers syndrome (autism). like when i go into groups of people i find it daunting because too much happens and i pick up such little information and things can get confusing.
but yeah, i really wish i could pick up things at a faster pace.
if you really think there’s a problem with you, then you should consult with a therapist..
but if deep down you think it’s just a mental block then you can work on it!
okay NO ONE can pick up all the details in a group..
you pay attention to a lot of things, it goes through your mind and there it chooses, based on what’s important to you, which ones to keep in memory..
so dear, if you do remember some stuff i think that’s a good sign.
Working to get better is going to be all about your attention to the conversation/s.
if you find it daunting, half of what you hear is not going to be paid attention to since you are lil scared
try to calm yourself with deep breaths :)
keep a clear head.. (that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be thinking about nothing!.. it’s an indication that your thoughts are focused and you are mentally prepared to take in more information.)
I think you are a smart girl who can think clearly and with depth, and you will find that all those mental blocks are actually very easy to ignore!!
just push past them dear.. do not think about it!
seriously, i tried so many things, ive always had this problem. like when i was 15 i ran down the road in the dark halfway through a party because it was daunting. whenever theres a big group i get so scared and confused because i understand and take in so little. i appreciate the help, being calm is important.
i guess ur right, no1 can pick up everything, but what i pick up is very limited in comparison to the majority of individuals. so limited i hardly ever can join in with groups of people. why? because to be able to join in you need a fair amount of information for the mind to grasp to be in the flow of what is going on. if you only pick up of like half or less of what is going on, you’d come up with random stuff which is what i do and people are generally uncomfortable talking about something completely irrelevant to what they are discussing.
because of this i generally feel socially isolated and shut off from people. i even get so fed up of feeling socially isolated i feel lonely. it isnt nice, but many people dont realise what they have, what theyve been born with and what they take advantage off.
spiritedsoul wrote:
seriously, i tried so many things, ive always had this problem. like when i was 15 i ran down the road in the dark halfway through a party because it was daunting. whenever theres a big group i get so scared and confused because i understand and take in so little. i appreciate the help, being calm is important.
i guess ur right, no1 can pick up everything, but what i pick up is very limited in comparison to the majority of individuals. so limited i hardly ever can join in with groups of people. why? because to be able to join in you need a fair amount of information for the mind to grasp to be in the flow of what is going on. if you only pick up of like half or less of what is going on, you’d come up with random stuff which is what i do and people are generally uncomfortable talking about something completely irrelevant to what they are discussing.
because of this i generally feel socially isolated and shut off from people. i even get so fed up of feeling socially isolated i feel lonely. it isnt nice, but many people dont realise what they have, what theyve been born with and what they take advantage off.
Im sorry dear
I did not realize how hard it is for you.
Do you think alot when you are in a group?? I want to know to what are you paying attention to…
thats ok, i really do appreciate you care though.
when im in a group i dont usually remember what i think lol i usually feel confused and try to listen to people but it can get tiring because my brain is useless lol
spiritedsoul wrote:
thats ok, i really do appreciate you care though.
when im in a group i dont usually remember what i think lol i usually feel confused and try to listen to people but it can get tiring because my brain is useless lol
nah your brain is not useless at allll [ i just read you poems lol … which by the way are verry beautiful and thoughtful.. good job! :)]
I guess you should really get professional help miss
This does have a big impact on you’r social life.
till then try and be calm..(deep breaths)
focus your thoughts and just listen.. maybe practice listening to talk shows or other channels where people debate over issues..
goodluck miss!!
a smile helps you focus too Oo
awww thanks sahaven :)
yes it does have a big impact but im trying to get all help i can.
thanks for caring
spiritedsoul wrote:
seriously, i tried so many things, ive always had this problem. like when i was 15 i ran down the road in the dark halfway through a party because it was daunting. whenever theres a big group i get so scared and confused because i understand and take in so little. i appreciate the help, being calm is important.
i guess ur right, no1 can pick up everything, but what i pick up is very limited in comparison to the majority of individuals. so limited i hardly ever can join in with groups of people. why? because to be able to join in you need a fair amount of information for the mind to grasp to be in the flow of what is going on. if you only pick up of like half or less of what is going on, you’d come up with random stuff which is what i do and people are generally uncomfortable talking about something completely irrelevant to what they are discussing.
because of this i generally feel socially isolated and shut off from people. i even get so fed up of feeling socially isolated i feel lonely. it isnt nice, but many people dont realise what they have, what theyve been born with and what they take advantage off.
Hey, my brother has asperger’s syndrome as well. He’s 26 but I don’t think his is as bad as most asperger’s people we’ve met in the area. He has a hard time dealing with groups and conversation too, but one thing I’ve noticed is that it’s all about his comfort level…
for example, if he is with me and my friends that he’s met many times before, he doesn’t have too hard of a time trying to stay on topic or keep up with conversation. All of my friends love my brother, but it might also be because they are introduced to him by me, and they can see how much I love him. Your environment with other people is really important when you have asperger’s. You might try meeting people you don’t know with a very close friend. It might help to break the ice and work on the first impressions that can be so hard.
I really think it’s also important to maintain a positive attitude with asperger’s. I know it’s hard to appreciate what you have when you see yourself hindered by it, but I actually think that the hardest thing my brother has had to deal with is very very low self esteem. I find that his real problems are loving himself. Once you realize how amazing you are and how important you are to people, it won’t matter AS much that conversations with strangers can sometimes be intimidating, frustrating, and difficult. You will appreciate the friendships and relationships to you that are so close and genuine.
Good luck, and if you need anything else, you can keep in contact with me if you’d like! :)
yeah i find it easier talking to people i know really well like my family most of the time, maybe because i have been rounf them long enough to understand their sense their humour, what intimidates them etc etc
with new people i have to discover and learn all over again.
i also find it hard to get on with many people as i lack a dcent amount of empathy and affection at times and get really jealous when i see people be able to have them for others. so i experience a lot of unhealthy emotions such as anger and frustration. many pick that up and dont like it.
‘but I actually think that the hardest thing my brother has had to deal with is very very low self esteem. I find that his real problems are loving himself. Once you realize how amazing you are and how important you are to people’
i think it canbe hard to be confident round people if you cant read them very well. like sometimes i cant tell the difference between someone trying to take advantage of me and someone who tries to be nice.
i dunno really, im still learning about myself. im hungryand tiered atm lol
The best thing I can tell you - and I might be totally misunderstanding your question, so, sorry if I do - is, words are more emotional, much stronger, worth more power, that it seems sometimes. In other words - the impressions, the illusions we present to others, have a lot of power on us and them emotionally, effecting how we see each other and what we think of each other.
Again, sorry if this is way off from what you’re asking.
An example - I just ended an online relationship. The person was nice and sweet to me everyday, for 6 1/2 months. So, why did I end it? Because early on, the person fell in love with an illusion, what he imagined me to be like, and not who I really was. I let it go because it made it happy and it was fun, and it was just too late to change things. So, with much heartbreak, many tears, and depression, which I’m still dealing with, I broke up. He loved an illusion, what he imagined me to be like, not who I really am.
A personal example of how powerful words and illusions are.
Sorry - I meant to say, I let the relationship go on for that long because I wanted to make him happy and we were both having fun with the illusion.
amasiell.
sahaven
littlenick