change help: Do you think that child m o l e s t e r s can change? - Help.com

yes, i am at help.com and i can definately answer that for you

yes, because maybe it’s a disease that make’s his head go crazy, but if he’son medication that might be a way to say “a child molester can change”

so yeah

;0

It’s not a disease, It’s some dumb guy that likes little kids.

But like do you think that a person could stop liking kids?

And what is a heavywight pro psych person?

Asian girl, you oversimplified things far too much.
It is, in theory, possible for a person to change, however it is highly unlikely.
For instance, once a person has concluded that they are straight by their early 20’s, they will be straight for the rest of their lives.
Same as peaodophiles. In almost every case, peaodophiles will have a sexual attraction towards children for the rest of their lives.

But, someone with degree level psychology knowledge will be able to help you further in this matter.

It is possible. It may not be possible for the person to change their attraction to children, but they can learn coping skills to deal with it and not act on those emotions.

The part to remember is that someone who has acted on this before will more than likely not change. Child molestation is more of a sociopathic behavior. The person knows right from wrong and knew the consequences of their actions and still chose to act on them without enough remorse to find help on their own. This is not the type of person that you can expect change from.

Also, this same person is not commiting these acts due to a sexual attraction on it’s own. There are deeper rooted psychological needs that this person is trying to meet. If these are not confronted, then there is no hope for recovery.

And yes, it is a disease and recovery (at least partial) is possible, just not likely.

Great question, As long there is life, there is room for change. If the abusers have the attitude that they were born that way, that it is out of their control, if they view themselves as victims of their own wants and needs, then the chance of change is very improbable.

I think that child molesters can change, but like candp said it is a lot about their attitudes and beliefs. Does the person really want to change? Do they believe they can change? If yes, then there is a better chance. I also personally believe it takes something stronger than the person, such as God.

kingofblintz-the person asked what we thought, so it seems they are interested in opinions not just professional answers.

I’m not arguing with you that if this is an issue for the writer or someone he/she knows then she should get professional advice. All I am saying is that people are welcome to come on here and ask for advice or opinions on any subject and that if the writer wanted opinions, it’s ok to just get opinions here without someone saying that no one here knows anything about it. Which by the way, you don’t know for sure. People here may be professional therapists who treat sex offenders, they might be sex offenders or former sex offenders, they might be victims of sex offenders. You never know what people on this site do or do not know so don’t be too quick to assume.

kingofblintz, you left me a little confused about the first paragraph that you gave above. What makes a person qualified to give advice by your standard? If education, title and life experience doesn’t give someone qualification, what does?

Also, the question in this post was a simple and direct question. It doesn’t sound like it requires a case study. If the person had asked “should I welcome a child molestor back in to my life after rehabilitation”, then the answers would be put across differently.

You have answered the question in the way you felt it should be answered. There’s no need to start arguments or debates that only pull from the topic at hand.

PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!
I just wanted some opinions I didn’t want a fight to break out!
I was just wondering from your own piont of view if YOU think that poeple like that can change?.

No you seem to be the controll freak thinking that everybody should think the same way as you!
And I just wanted some opinions not some giant test!
I just wanted to know what some poeple thought about it and if you don’t like it leave!

Don’t feel sorry for me!!!!!!!!!! I feel sorry for you! With the fact that eveyone has to be perfect and for your big headed info I do like hearing the same opinions over and over agian!!!!!!!!!! And why do you have to insist on buggin me???!!!!
And I don’t need anger management training [censored]!!! You need extreme over control freak management training!!!!!

Well, as the website moderator I do care about fights breaking out. Let’s please avoid any attacks on each other. If you have a problem with a user’s behavior or ability to be civil, please report it to me.

Everyone please remeber that disagreements are fine, but that doesn’t mean you have to make things personal, belittle other people’s intelligence or include insults.

True pedophiles (usually men who molest boys under the age of 14) cannot change and it’s been statistically proven. You can only change their patterns of thinking when they the urge, which is what they are taught to do in their sex therapy (treatment) classes while they are on parole (which is a mandatory condition of their parole). For example, think of it this way:
Heterosexuals like the opposite sex. Imagine forcing a heterosexual to prefer the same sex–when they don’t, or forcing someone who is gay to go straight. It’s a preference, like any other (albeit a twisted one.)
For them they need to have years of conditioning and close monitoring in my opinion. I have worked a sex offender caseload for a while now (as an intern) and many do not re-offend while ON parole, yet they do once they are off supervision and the state police take over their case (since they aren’t required to monitor them as well as parole officers). Personally, if you’re not up their ass 24/7–they are liable to do anything. I trust them as far as I can throw them…and I’m only 4’10.

IamMyKidsMom, It had also been proven that drug addicts can not recover from their addiction, but I know drug addicts who haven’t used in over 14 years. People always have the potential to overcome. Those same people may still be drug addicts, but they don’t use drugs and I think this proves that people can rehabilitate (on a behavioral level) if we have the desire to. If a person sees a need (a sincere and selfish need) to change their behavior, then it’s possible. I don’t believe that most child molesters have any desire to change their behavior, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible.

I don’t mean to say that a child molester can ever get away from the urge (like addiction, it is a progressive disease), but the acting on those urges can be overcome by learning new coping skills as well as learning why they are making these choices in the first place. There is a lot of trauma there somewhere. More often than not it originates from antisocial behaviour or abuse suffered in childhood and those demons need to be confronted.

Anyway, that’s my opinion, but if you want to take a look at some deeper research about this subject, then check out the program running at Atascadero in CA. It hasn’t been met with much success, but it is bourne from some pretty strong research and I think deserves a little respect.

Kudo’s to you, Grateful. All wonderful points and I do agree with you. It’s nice to have such diverse debating material. My point was that the desire is always there, yet through conditioning it can change–but doesn’t always work. I think you reiterated much of my post in your second paragraph and I wholeheartedly agree. Yet when you see offenders re-offending after supervision is over (as often as I do), it gets to you a bit. I am only speaking of my personal experiences. There are many offenders that do not recidivate and come to be exemplary model citizens (even with the label of predatory offender attached). I also notice they re-offend on lesser charges such as possession, alcohol use, minor contact without disclosure, and internet use for example, yet not offend “against” children. We do poly’s and plytheso’s (penile lie detectors) too and find the truth no matter what. We can’t usually violate them based on that, but are more watchful of their actions and usually find something later down the road.

=)

IamMyKidsMom, thanks for the acknowledgement. I believe that our current understanding of behavioral psychology is very limited, but growing quickly. As we learn more about what makes someone act on these impulses as well as what gives them these urges, we will be able to learn more on how to rehabilitate them. The problem is that we still have a penal system that is more designed for punishing than for rehabilitating. With sex offenders going in to that penal system, they are going not going to change in any way for the better. I feel this is the first thing that has to change in order for us to see a greater success rate when it comes down to reforming sex offenders. I don’t mean to sound as if I don’t believe in our current legal system; I just think there is always room for improvement.

You said intern, how long have you been in your line of work? I can honestly say that I don’t envy your job, but I do envy your strength in being able to do it.

Here’s a couple of articles that restored my faith that it is possible.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontr…
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/…

And if you want to see some clinical research. Some are abstracts of books that I would recomend you check out. I found them very informative.

http://www.springerlink.com/content/w…
http://www.csc-scc.gc.ca/text/pblct/f…
http://taylorandfrancis.metapress.com/(r1s0ce2onsfhfx45frtwoq45)/app/home/contribution.asp?referrer=parent&backto =issue,9,13;journal,13,15;linkingpublicationresults,1:110798,1

Anonymous, just wondering, What made you ask this? This is a pretty big topic and I don’t want you to take my optimism as a false sense of security. Although I do believe that the offender can be reformed, I don’t feel they should be trusted.

Grateful, I will check those out…and I am an intern Parole Officer working on a sex offender team for about a year, and I love the work. I find it very satisfying watching the success stories of some of the offenders with their rehabilitation…some really do try, and some do not. Your last post is very helpful and truthful.

It is a disease. If you have known and worked with child molesters you will find that some of them are truly good and loving people with a terrible affliction. It is a disease and not a sexual orientation. The most paedophiles lead a life of guilt and self hatred. Most have the same moral values as we do, yet they have an uncontrollable desire to be sexually intimate with children. Some commit suicide, some admit themselves a life in an mental hospital. Sadly the success rate for a “cure” is very low.

You get good and bad people and you will find good and bad paedophiles.
Sounds like a contradiction in terms but I am sure you know what I mean. And please don’t think that I am taking sides. I myself have been a victim of child molestation and know that the effects are very destructive….

Very good post Eskimo…and very true in many respects.

So most people like that can’t change?

No, they all can change, but most never will. Most lack the sincere desire and the situational opportunities to change.

O.

so, why did you ask?

My dad is like that.
Don’t worry or anything he doesn’t live with us but I have always wondered if he would ever be able to change, Cause I want to meet him some day.

Don’t count on him changing, but pray for him. Couldn’t you arange a meeting under supervised conditions? Is he in prison or an institution?

Please, also, don’t ever alow yourself to be alone with him. My heart goes out to you.

He was put in prison before I was born but as far as I know he is out now cause got out so unless he was put back in then he is out, I didn’t count to much on him changing cause somthing inside said that didn’t. And my mom doesn’t really want me to meet him I don’t think, and I would never let myself be alone with him, But I don’t even know where he is.

Well, trust in you mother on this one. When you are an adult and can dictate the terms, you can get to know your father in a more safe situation.

to tell the truth I rude be a little scared to meet him.

I mean would sorry getting a little sleepy.

Me too. I was actually getting ready to go to bed for the night. Don’t even worry about it. I know how it feels to loose a parent for the majority of your childhood. My mother wasn’t around for mine. The truth is, you sound liks a pretty well balanced person. Play it safe. Stay away from him. When you get older, if you still want to, you can get to know him.

Anyway, I hope some of this helped. I’m going to get some rest. g’night

Anonymous,
If he is a sex offender he cannot meet you until you are 18 years old if he is still on supervision. That would constitute a violation of his parole. If he sees you anyway, they will find out at his next polygraph test when they ask if he has any minor contact that was not disclosed (they are required to disclose any contact with minors to their parole officer–speaking to, or direct contact with ANY minors each time there is contact– so there are no surprises in his poly. Also, my advice is to find out his victim of choice if you don’t already know. Normally (not always) an offender sticks to what they like. For an example, some of our offenders abuse their own children under the age of 14 (lets say they were 14). This offender would go through extensive psych testing to find out what his preferences are. Normally, who they molest is their preferred victim, in the scenario I just gave, it being females under the age of 14 who are known to him (not strangers). Normally they do not divert from their preferred victim, so if it happened to be young boys under the age of 10 NOT known to him let say, most likely he would not divert from that gender or age group (that’s not to say it doesn’t happen though). Either way, if he’s not on supervision and you meet him, I would meet him with supervision. They have a habit of verbally grooming their victims also (not to say this will happen, but to make you aware). My bio father, brother, and step dad are all sex offenders (2 registered) and have lived your situation my entire childhood. Don’t be afraid…just cautious, as I am sure you already are by asking good questions such as this. Take care lil’ one.

That is a learned behavior and its unfortunately learned from being a victim of it and some people fight the temptation and others take on the traits and i do believe that it can be controlled with medication but i would nt rely on someone judgement without proper help and or medication

Grateful posted these cites earlier that contain relevant information in context to this question and I have just perused them. I am posting them again since I feel they are very informative and deserving of a second look by anyone interested.

Thanks Grateful, nice research efforts.
________________________

http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontr…
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/…

And if you want to see some clinical research. Some are abstracts of books that I would recommend you check out. I found them very informative.

http://www.springerlink.com/content/w…
http://www.csc-scc.gc.ca/text/pblct/f…
http://taylorandfrancis.metapress.com/(r1s0ce2onsfhfx45frtwoq45)/app/home/contribut ion.asp?referrer=parent&backto=issue,9,13;jou rnal,13,15;linkingpublicationresults,1:110798 ,1

Anyone can change. They have to WANT to change.

I suppose that the notion of change here is very difficult for most people to accept. Once a person has been branded a Pedophile that ’stigma’ will remain with them wherever they go. In the current research the issue here isn’t so much about whether the individual can change it’s about HOW to change them and it comes down to the nature/nurture argument (i.e. is a person born a pedophile, through developmental abnormalities, neuropathogens etc or does the world make them that way) There have been many cases where people have been labeled ‘cured’ but this implies an affliction. In the forensic setting the re-offense rate of sexual offenders is very high but much of this is believed to be due to circumstances within the prisons (i.e. sexual offenders get a hard time from other inmates and staff). So.. where am i going with this lol. There are many cases of ‘recovered’ pedophiles. although these recovered individuals are often not again left in the company of children so this may simply be a matter of correlation. And there are also many cases of re-offense. However i think it’s important to realize that many of these people do have dark backgrounds (most pedophiles have been sexually assaulted in childhood) and there is evidence for biological predospositions, perhaps it’s a combination? I think it’s a evry controversial issue but it also think it’s important to stick to the fact and not be overwhelmed by personal opinion (i.e. they are evil).