I feel like a failure.
Forget that - I am a failure - because I’m 34 years old and I live at home with my parents. To make it worse, I’ve been living with my parents for almost five years. I lost my job at that time due to the end of my contract and I had a breakdown from bad anxiety. I’ve been on medication since then, but I’ve not been employed for that long - I’ve been scared to get back out in the world, an intense fear of life, and I now realize, after all this time, that I can’t use that as a crutch or excuse. I’ve had a fear of failure, and the irony is, that fear has lead me to be a failure and feel like a failure. I’ve been helping my parents with chores as a form of rent, but I have no job, no spouse, and no friends outside of the family. I look in the mirror and all I can think is, you failure, you sponge. And it leads to me suicidal thoughts and the emotional stuff that goes with them. I want to make something of myself, I want to move on and give my parents their life back in their house, and I know it’s the time. I admit, I’m sacred to get out there, and my depression is holding me back at the moment. But I know what I have to do - get a job, go back to school. Have a been a failure, a waste for five years? Am I a failure for living with my parents right now? Am I ever going to be able to make it on my own after five years out of work and age 34? These are issues I have to come to turns with, and my depression, before I can move on. What are your thoughts? I appreciate them. Do you know of other people like me I can chat with?
Since writing this post ABC.123 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. ABC.123 is a verified member, has been around for 4 years and has 2 posts and 37 replies to their name.
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