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you are winning for a reason
to live pretty much
something is going on but calm down try (try) to relax and think cant call? Go to your wife say Ilove you what have I done to hurt you?
Is there anything I could change about myself (not to durastic)
or somethin simluar show them your feelings being a daughter I understand why the daughter is doing that
could be the mother’s fault
or hers
and it obviously doesnt seem like your problem
My step dad wife cheated on him he begged and begged her to stay with him but all he got was no
his kids were uknown of this expeirence but he got over it
and met a wonderful beautiful woman my mother
they havent split since
she begged him back but he said no
I have asked my wife many times what I have done. She would never give me an answer. We have had problems for over 6 years. We have filed for divorce. The only thing that is important to me is my daughter. I have not seen my daughter for over 3 months. I have talked to her only four times by phone. She always seems like someone is prompting her to end our conversation. I did not get to speak to her during Thanksgiving or Christmas. My daugter is all I care about. I had to fight my cancer battle the past two years by myself. The good news is that I have been cancer free. I have a CAT scan every six months. Every time the CAT scan comes back negative. I am thankful for that.
congrats on being cancer free, but I’m sorry to hear about your marital problems. Can you get joint custody of your daughter or visitation rights if your divorce goes through? I can’t give you much advice. I’ve never been married or through divorce, but I can pray for you and your situation.
I am trying to get joint custody, but it does not appear to be promising. My attorney tells me that the best I will be able to do is to get visitation rights. I would greatly appreciate your prayers.
You’ve got them, ok? Hey, visitation rights for now would be better than not seeing her at all. It’ll help to keep your relationship with her going and let her see how much you love her and miss her and want her. If you don’t mind me asking, why won’t you be able to get joint custody?
My daughter is 14 years old. My attorney feels she will want to stay with her Mother. My daughter has told me she wants to live with her Mother. My attorney feels the Judge would be in favor of this sine she is 14. This is something I will have to live with. This is something I find very difficult to live with.
I understand, but I know that also hurts you as well. Divorce is bad cuz no one wins. At least you’ll get to see her and spend time with her, and she’ll see your love/care for her and she’ll know she can always ocme to you when she needs to and you’ll be there for her. When I have free time I volunteer in different places like homeless shelters, childrens hosptials, domestic violence shelters, etc. I spend alot of time with the children. This afternoon I was at a kids dialysis unit for 3 hours. I see alot of families split apart in these environments, and though the parents suffer, the children suffer so much more. They’re the innocent ones in these cases, and they’re dependent on parents for their care so can do nothing in their circumstances. Its always nice to hear and see when parents care about their kids and stay in their lives and love them and care for them no matter what. Your feelings for your daughter say alot for the person you are. Always let your daughter know you’re there for her. Its very important.
I am afraid she will not want to spend time with me. I am afraid she will want to please her Mother. I beleive her Mother will do whatever she can to keep my daughter away from me. You can not force a 14 year to spend time with you. I am afraid I will lose my daughter forever. My daughter is the most important person in my life.
Well, you may be right about her mother trying to keep her away from you. I don’t have any other suggestions. I know you can’t force a teen to do what they don’t want to do. Hey, she’s your daughter. She knows your her daughter. One day when shes older and mature, she’ll come back to you. Its not much comfort for you right now, I know, but children never forget who their parents are. I have a friend from Ontario Canada who’s parents divorced & their mom used them as a pawn to get back at their dad during the divorce. My friend hated his dad, but when he turned 18, him and his sister went and found their dad to see if he really hated them like their mom said. It was the nicest gift he ever had when they knocked on his door. They’re all very close, and the brother/sister lost all respect for their mom once they learned how their dad truly felt about them. They’re nice to their mom, but now they spend all their holidays and time with their dad. I wish divorce didn’t help in this world. I wish I could help you more, but I don’t have the expertise for things like this. If you ever need to vent or just talk, I’ll listen, ok?
Thank you very much!. It is nice to know there are still people in the world who care. From your comments, it is obvious you care. It feels good to be able to vent. I appreciate you listening to me. I would like to talk to you in the future.
Ok. That would be nice. I don’t usually come on til 8 or 9 p.m. CST cuz I work a full-time job plus I’m in school. I’m getting my Master of Science in Physics in May. I promised my parents I’d finish school and get my degrees. I lost my parents in May 2005. They were hit headon by a drunk driver in colorado on their way to my graduation ceremony for my B.S. degree. My dad died instantly but my mom died 2 days later. How they found me was my mom regained consciousness for only a few minutes in the E.R. but told them my name & where I was but she couldn’t remember her name. The Dean came and got me & told me. I called our family lawyer who met me in Denver, CO. I sat 2 days with my mom holding her hand. There were broken bones sticking out from her hands. She kept hanging on & they couldn’t figure out why. I finally figured out she didn’t want to leave me alone. I finally told her if she wanted to go and be with me daddy, then to go and not worry about me. That I’d be ok cuz they raised me to be strong and independent. I would take care of myself if they’d always watch over me and help me in my hard moments of life. She died right after that. 6 months after their deaths I was at a point of committing suicide. They were my family. Both my paternal and maternal grandparents are dead and my parents were only childre as I am. I have no family left at all. We all have our despairs/sorrows/hurts on this earth. God didn’t promise life would be an easy journey nor did He promise us it wouldn’t be without hard times. It is what we make of it by the choices we make. I feel my parents came to me that day when I wanted to die, when my despair was so deep and strong. I chose to live and go on for them. To make my life an honorable one in memory of them, to make them proud of me. I may not accomplish much here or be a huge success, but if I touch one person’s haart and life and help them, then my journey here is a success. Being pretty or having money doesn’t guarantee happiness. We’re all human, and we all hurt. Just stay strong inside of you and know God brought you through your illness for a reason. He closed one door but I promise you another one will open.
I admire your strength. I really admire you getting a Masters in Physics. I have a BE in Engineering. I know how difficult physics can be plus you are working. I admire you getting through your great losses. I know it can be difficult to be alone. You sound like a strong person.
Thank you. I try to be, but I have my moments like everyone else. Thats why I found this place and actually got some very good advice and help for several people on here. Hey, I have my B.S. in mechanical and structural engineering. I work for an international energy company who have offices around the world. Its owned by one man, and somehow he saw the outline for my thesis, and I guess it impressed him so much that he called and scheduled an interview with me and ended up offering me a job. I wrote it on the oil drilling industry, their motors and how they damage the earth but how using new technology a better drill motor could be built to not do so much damage. Anyway, I’m getting off. I have to get up at 5 cuz I start work at 7. Have a beautiful Friday, ok? I’ll be praying for you.
Thank you for listening. You have a beautiful Friday too. I hope to talk to you again in the future.
Keep putting positive input into your relationship with your daughter and you be the leader in the conversations you do get and don’t be put off with her reactions. She is at an insecure age but will soon being demanding her rights. Just keep showing your protection and love for her will always be there. Soon she may want to spend more time with you but during early teens it is probably the mum who is the role model. That doesn’t mean you are not needed. She will probably marry someone like you. Don’t fall into the trap where your only role is to be sugar daddy. Always remember her birthdays and send little cards or tokens to show you are thinking of her not just demanding rights. Write letters but don’t keep trying to tug at her heart just include her in your life, let her know about interesting things that happened at work or park. Remember the things she tells you and follow up on it next conversation.
Thank you, I never thought of this approach.
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