I am so lonely and depressed.

This post left anonymously

I am so lonely and depressed.

I have tried suicide 7 times, the first when I was approximately 10 years old. I won’t go into my sorted childhood, but my second marriage is what is bothering me now. He shot himself and killed himself in front of me. No reason, no explanation. I feel so guilty - yet such a fool. My new relationship is rocky. He feels I still love this man I was married to. HELL NO! He hit me, he raped me. I hate him! But I need to know why. How do I stop the voices in my head, the feelings of guilt. I should have done this, I should have done that. I wouldn’t have stayed married to him but I would have tried to save him. I can’t ever sleep at night in bed because this is when and where he did it. Can someone talk to me?

This open post was written 3 years, 3 months ago | V/U/S: 889, 2, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Summer Rain 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 years, 3 months ago (15 minutes after post)

If you’re not happy in your new relationship, leave. Being in an abusive relationship is not gonna help your suicidal thoughts. He sounds like a di*k; just leave.
What your husband did is in no way your fault. You have nothing to feel guilty about, it was his decision.

lundun 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 3 months ago (1 hour, 5 minutes after post)

darlin! it was not your fault. dont commit suicide…. please dont! that will not solve anything, apart from making anyone around you that care for you really sad!!

It may sound harsh and true i dont know the full circumstances, but my belief on suicide is that its a very selfish thing to do, its the easy way out for the person commiting it, but then it leaves people around picking up the pieces. You already sound like a very strong girl… i presumer you are, sorry if not.

I have just lost my true love, and i know what it is like to have these types of thoughts. But no matter what it is not your fault. If you were there or not, he would have still gone ahead and done it.

Keep talking, you need to get you feelings out there… x

Dan x

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I am so lonely and depressed. - Help.com