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I can’t get over my ex-girlfriend no matter how hard I try.
We were dating online for about 3 years, then we finally met and had an amaaaaazing time. But when she went home, it quickly deteriorated and she ended things unceremoniously and wants no more to do with me. I’ve tried to look forward but it’s impossible. Please don’t give me the same tire clichés about ‘plenty more fish’ etc.
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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Sound to me like you are looking for a little thing called closure. You said she ended it unceremoniously,so to me…it sounds as if you expected something more…perhaps a big argument on at least a final ‘goodbye’.
I can tell you this much,you likely ain’t gunna get it,thats just a fact of life.
Another fact of life is that you are living in the past and therefore not allowing yourself to go forward and as long as your mind and heart are there,you will open yourself up for nothing new…and what really is the icing on the cake is the ladies,they can smell that same old **** a mile away and will avoid you like the plague.
Move on,forget about her. Why are you even bothered by it? If she just all the sudden up and left…what ever makes you think that pining away over her is going to change her feelings,or make her come back?
For hat matter,would you really want a girl who will cut and run at the first opportunity? I doubt it.
And yeah I gotta go there…there are plenty of other fish in the sea…unfortunately the sea is mostly polluted.
i am sorry for what happen and mabey later on in life you will meet some1 new
you will have a better realiship.
@littlenick - Hello, I’m the original poster. You’re somewhat mistaken. We had a GREAT time. It wasn’t that she came here and didn’t like me - very much the opposite. But once we went back to long distance, it quickly nosedived and she told me our relationship had reached its peak.
See,this is where reality kicks in.
Apparently there is something keeping the two of you apart from each other. Now,whether that be school,work,family….whatever. The point is,she can’t be where you are and you can’t be where she is. The reason is irrelevant,but it’s a factor that prevents this relationship from going any further. She knows it,and you likely do as well.
Now,while the two of you may have had a great time,the fact is without some sense of proximity,it was doomed from the get go. Obviously she knew it and decided to throw the water on the proverbial flames of love.
Long distance relationships DO NOT WORK…..period. People lie to themselves and say they will work out.Others lie to their partners and while they are away it’s game on,but regardless….they just don’t work. Stop kidding yourself.
But let me ask a question,did she ever mention trying to take the relationship further? Moving to your town…or you moving to hers? Or did you ask her? Just the fact that one or both of you seemed unwilling to compromise on that pretty much says everything about this relationship and how it would have went.
I guess the question here is,did she give any sort of indication that she wanted the relationship to continue? Or did she just said she had a great time?
But…as Frank Zappa would call the ‘crux of the biscuit’,the fact is that no one who’s in a relationship wants to sleep alone. This relationship,had it continued in long distance format would have been unfair not only to her…but to you as well.
Now…all that being said…if you really do love this girl,call her up and tell her your feelings and see if she feels the same,then make plans to bridge that gap in the distance so you can actually BE with her…and not just ‘be’ with her.
But I can assure you this relationship is a dead-end as long as the distance factor remains.
We did mention in passing where we’d prefer to live, her country or mine, and she suggested mine. Like I say, it was a passing conversation and we didn’t commit to anything. Since it was the first time we had physically met, I guess it was still early days.
I do think that had we not been separated, this definitely wouldn’t have happened. Once you’re removed from one another, it’s all too easy to take the other person for granted. I don’t think I’ve ever done that, though, because I’ve always been committed to her. Even though I know that the long distance can only work so long before you must bridge the gap permanently, it still doesn’t make the loss any easier to take. People saying ‘Move on!’….well, gee, thanks. Such a simple comment is going to make everything clearer. I don’t even want to think about moving on, because I can’t forget what I’ve lost.
I spoke to a friend of mine about this whos a sociology major and her biggest point was that proximity is huge in a relationship…close to 65% of it…thats alot when you consider what other factors are there.
But at this point you really only have two options…one to go above and beyond to prove to her you really want this….or…as the old tired answers go….move on.
But honestly,if she is no longer interested,chances are she already has moved on and you are holding that fabled torch all on your own.
And trust me,thats a very lonely road my friend.
you ****** will do pal, as much as you do thing you will, you ****** will
I was in ur position almost a year ago. I went to visit a girl who I had been “dating” for a year online. We live over 3000 miles apart. I reckon it was just like your experience. Everything was great at the time, when we were both together. I saw no signs of her being unhappy or anything, quite the opposite actually, she seemed very happy and into me. I was there with her for two and a half weeks. When I got back home, I didn’t hear anything from her. I thought I’d give her some space for a week didn’t text her or anything, then I randomly called her and she didn’t pick up. Then she told me online that she was breaking up with me. She didn’t even have the courtesy to tell me over the phone or whatever. I was frustrated and confused beyond belief. I couldn’t believe that it was over. Here I am, 8 months later. Still confused and frustrated. Not as much as I used to be, but I still feel down from time to time because of it. I feel like I’ve lost the only thing that ever truly mattered to me. I feel you man. I know what you’re going through.
If you want to talk, you can send me an email to i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>, or add me on MSN, I use that. I guess it would be alright for myself aswell to chat with someone who’s gone through the same thing.
Apparently emails can’t be distributed here, but send me a PM or something if you want to get my email to talk or whatever :)
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