if you could choose between being heartbroken to being lonely, what would you choose, and why? - Help.com

I’d choose heartbroken! Lonely is not good and when I was heartbroken my friends pulled me through and were there for me and we had fun getting over the hard times… definitely heartbroken!

Heartbroken without a question - “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all…”

Heartbroken is definitely better…

Lonely - I have more control over my feelings that way.

I’d chose lonely simply because one will not fight nor argue with oneself. A broken heart can only mend itself a certain number of times until it shatters and stays that way.

Lonely’s okay with me. Of course I’d much rather not be any of those but since this is a hypothetical question, I’d say lonely over heartbroken.

I’d prefer to be lonely. There are myriad ways to stop feeling lonely and quickly. :) A broken heart seems to last forever and might never completely heal.

Anonymous wrote:
Heartbroken without a question - “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all…”

nice

my opinion i’d choose lonely, with being heartbroken something is taken and part destroyed, heartbreak is something that will always leave a faint scar yet affect the things you do and how you love again if you ever allow yourself too. So lonely, which may seem painful at times the scars from it tend to heal fully. And if you can, from lonliness one can come to love themselves more so that a potential heartbreak will only make a slight dint instad of a shattered rffect, where the pieces can never be truly whole again. So I choose lonely.

i would choose lonely. at least then you don’t know what your missing.

Depends… is this a choice between being constantly lonely or constantly heartbroken? Because the feeling of being heartbroken is thankfully breif compared to that of loneliness, so with this I’d choose heartbroken. I’ve got some of my best things done trying to get over a broken heart. Then again, if its constant heartbreaking then I’d definitely choose loneliness. Its like the choice between feeling numb and feeling in pain.

Been both… hmmm

Heartbroken much worse.

Heartbroken for me was lonely + emotional agony + hopelessness.
Lonely just happens every so often, and I can usually just organise something with a friend.
Friends I can do, but way too high subconscious expectations for romance.

i guess i would choose to be lonely rather than be heart broken , i wont be able to take the pain of being heart broken..

heartbroken… time can help u move on!!! with lonliness time just makes everything more depressing.

if you ask me a lonely heart may as well be broken… Time alone is one thing but lonliness is like a hole… Both being lonely & a broken heart I believe can only be fixed through love of some form

Heartbroken would be better than lonely becouse lonely you would not have social life

debora.alejandra wrote:
Heartbroken would be better than lonely becouse lonely you would not have social life

Not true. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.

Hmm…this is a tough question. I was going to say lonely because, as someone has already said, there are so many ways to stop feeling so alone. But then again…not necessarily. It seems simple on paper, but it doesn’t always work out that way.

Loneliness can be for life. So can a broken heart, but at least it gets better with time (or so they say.) And if you were broken hearted but not lonely, at least you wouldn’t feel alone. So, I’d choose heartbroken.

being lonely is tough, without a doubt.. i choose being in love and surrounded by friends. if only……

i’d rather be heartbroken because that only lasts a few months tops, where lonliness can last years

I’d rather be heartbroken. Painful as it is, it is alot shorter. And at least that way you can have people there to distract from the pain and make you feel better for a while.
Feeling lonely is a horrible thing. The worst bit is the longer you are lonely the harder it becomes to do anything to remedy it. Because you start having this strange desperation, that people sense and are uncomfortable with.

Don’t they usually go together?

I would choose lonely. When you are heartbroken u are aften bitter. When you are lonely you still have hope that things will change in the future.

both are conditions of a situation… in terms of “being” I’d prefer being the best me possible.

i would chose to be heartbroken than alone..its better to have been loved then not have been loved at all…

Anonymous wrote:
i would chose to be heartbroken than alone..its better to have been loved then not have been loved at all…

Anonymous wrote:
Don’t they usually go together?

That’s what I thought too.
Friends usually think the best thing to do with a heart broken friend is to leave ‘em alone to recuperate soooo….I dunno.

Lonely - easier to get over than being heartbroken.

Probably lonely, because I’ve been that a long time, and I’m pretty much used to it. On the other hand, that’s kind of a hard question, because they are both terrible feelings. Then again, I have never been in love, so what do I know?

heartbroken because when i am lonely i get depressed and have bad and dark thoughts. If i was heartbroken(since i am fortunate to not have experianced it yet) i could try to get my mind off of it with music and such but when i am lonely i just dont like music as much for some reason

Lonely. I am happier that way since I am used to being alone, can cope, and often prefer it :P

i think it depends on the kind of heart break we’re talking about. Like person i need to spend the rest of my life with just died and i don’t ever want to be with another person heartbroken, or i was in a 4 min relationship heartbreak.
if its the death one then i’d def. chose lonliness, it can always be fixed, but if its the 4 min heartbreak, well then that definitly.

Heartbroken. The experiences leading up to it are something to cherish and grow from and never forget. I wouldn’t trade them for anything!

hmm, well if we are talking about it being a constant thing, i would prefer lonliness. I would take a tent and some food and what not and go out to the wilderness and live there for a few years XD, just hunting and making things.

On a normal scale, i would prob prefer being heartbroken, because yes while it is painful and it might leave a scar i find it kind of refreshing in a way… like something really bad has happend, so im heartbroken and think about everything but after a while of thinking about it, you gain a new perspective and everything starts feeling like new sorta thing.

joniboni1 wrote:
hmm, well if we are talking about it being a constant thing, i would prefer lonliness. I would take a tent and some food and what not and go out to the wilderness and live there for a few years XD, just hunting and making things.

Yeah same xD I probably will end up doing something like that for a while lol.

I would have to go with heartbroken as well. The though of being alone is horrible to me. I don’t necessarily need a man but as long as I had like a roommate I’d be fine. Just coming home to a house with no one in it would bother me greatly.

Having a broken heart could lead you to being lonely…definitely lonely! Been there, done that.

Logan. :-)

“A rose without thorns is like love without heartbreak; it doesn’t make sense.”
Heartbreak and lonlyness are two things you cant avoid while going through life.

i would choose heartbroken cause we can be lonely and heartbroken by people around us thus being with a person that hurts u better than being alone and also heartbroken loool

I’ve been both before, I’d rather be lonely. The scars left behind by a broken heart….they don’t mend-they just scar over.

In my opinion, I would rather have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. To me love is something that is precious and should always be in someone’s soul. Despite being broken, if love in the soul remains strong then that can be a powerful tool to becoming a stronger person. This is strictly my opinion though. :3

I had a great love, he’s still there in my heart. I remember every moment, even the bad ones. He is my way of placing a measure on every man I’ve met since him. None has measured up, he wasn’t perfect, he wasn’t gorgeous…he was ordinary but behaved extraordinary because he loved me, and he did that all the time. Sid died in 1999. My heart’s been broken since then, I would much rather be lonely and thank god, have the memory of Sidney to remind me what true love really feels like. One day I hope to find it again, I’m hopeful and lonely….does that make sense?

mpugh5694 wrote:
I had a great love, he’s still there in my heart. I remember every moment, even the bad ones. He is my way of placing a measure on every man I’ve met since him. None has measured up, he wasn’t perfect, he wasn’t gorgeous…he was ordinary but behaved extraordinary because he loved me, and he did that all the time. Sid died in 1999. My heart’s been broken since then, I would much rather be lonely and thank god, have the memory of Sidney to remind me what true love really feels like. One day I hope to find it again, I’m hopeful and lonely….does that make sense?

Sounds like you are thankful to have the memories you do of loving Sid.

I hope one day you will find love again as well.

Angel: Thank you, that’s very kind of you.

It’s a strange choice. You’re heart gets broken if you love someone and don’t get enough love back. That is lonely. Not being in a relationship doesn’t make you lonely. People need all sorts of contacts. A relationship is not enough for most poeple not to feel lonely and a lot are lonely despite of or even through their relationship. The feeling of loneliness is not a good starting point for a relationship to thrive. Feeling happy and loving is better and starting a relationship with the expectation of a broken heart is what I would call romantic masochism. Never make a choice for a broken heart. Make an effort and mend the hearts of others and of your own.

arjval: nice analysis.

Honestley, there isn’t much difference between the two because when your heart broken you feel lonley and like no one understands you. You feel alone in the world.

I disagree Sammi: Heartbroken is when you feel unworthy of love because of someone’s behavior towards you. They hurt you emotionally. Lonliness is asexual, you could be lonely for company or companionship or you could feel lonely for a lover or love.

lonely definately! I am heartbroken at the moment and before I met my ex boyfriend I was quite lonely. Lonely is sad but you have things to occupy you, being heartbroken takes over your mind 24/7 and Is the horriblest thing i have faced.

I have a girlfriend who came to me recently and told me how her boyfriend is treating her. I was so sad for her, because she’s gained a bit of weight, she broke her foot and was in a cast….he nows makes comments that her body is not pretty anymore. He’s hurting someone who he professes to love, doesn’t he realize this kind of heart ache doesn’t go away, he becomes a wound that never heals, it just plain hurts when someone does that to you. It hurts at the moment, hurts you when you look in the mirror and long after they’re gone from your life, you still hurt from those words. I hope her boyfriend gets super fat and develops teenage acne on his beautiful face!!

having your heartbroken generally leads to loneliness, so lonelyness

HEARTBROKEN!

grbghp wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
HEARTBROKEN!

why?

At one time you had something that made you feel complete.

I’m recovering from my 3rd angioplasty….my heart is broken.

its always better to be lonely,,,cause then you dont have to recover or overcome anything….

you just have to overcome lonliness. It’s not difficult to overcome lonliness though, volunteer at a hospital, or soup kitchen…..look others in the eye who need help, no matter the circumstance. Lonliness is easy….just give of yourself and you’ll feel fulfilled. We humans are nurturers by our very nature. It makes us feel good to help another.

I’d choose lonely. I had my heart broken not too long ago and it seems (for me at least) that lonely and heartbroken go hand in hand. Lonely can be overcome whereas heartbroken is always there. The pain may subside after time but it’s still there in some way.

lonely for sure because heartbroken leaves scars that don’t ever really heal. I’ve been both and i would choose lonely. Hopefully not forever though.

Heartbroken..

Because I’d rather experience love and the mystery of it then to die with curiosity.

I’d pick lonely because I can easily find someone and not worry about my previous heart break. This new girl would totally rock my world and I would not longer be lonely and it’d be a fresh start!

If I was heart broken I’d find someone new and the last break up would only be on my mind.. and when things got serious I’d be worried if the same thing would happen all over again.

So I definitely choose being lonely because lonely isn’t forever:) It can turn into happiness!

It’s all in your perception I suppose.

Lonly heartbroken sucks

Sam

I didn’t mean it that way, it just depends on how you perceive each relationship. there’s a fella that wrote how he’d just move on to the next so he wouldn’t be lonely or heartbroken….I guess it depends on your perception as it pertains to your age…that sounds like a young person’s perspective, what do you think?

Some young people are very wise then some older folks act like children. I think maybe it’s all in the way you can absorb your predicaments and adapt accordingly. i.e. compassion and tolerance.

And that’s a true statement as well. I know lots of people my age (older) who have no common sense so it’s relative.

Heartbroken it is better to hav loved and lost then to never have loved at all

lizakee wrote:
Heartbroken it is better to hav loved and lost then to never have loved at all

Why? I still don’t see why you say that. I know that’s a really common “saying” but can you explain a bit “why” ? Is it because the experience that makes you know more than the average Joe or to know that you had someone at one time? Or is is purely the experience of love in general?

Kyle: I had a husband whom I loved dearly. When he died suddenly I realized how precious our relationship was. I never knew there were lots of people who had never known that kind of love….a love that took your breath just being near that other person, or turned off your brain with a kiss…even years after that first kiss. When you experience that kind of love, you are always searching to repeat it. I hope that the repeating part is possible, because I’m looking. But, there’s also the love you share as siblings…..into adulthood that relationship changes and you’re not big sister/little sister….you’re friends with such a tremendous and unique friendship because you’ve know each other all of your lives. That in itself is a very complete and special love that is so hard to describe because it’s the most natural feeling.

`Kyle wrote:

lizakee wrote:
Heartbroken it is better to hav loved and lost then to never have loved at all

Why? I still don’t see why you say that. I know that’s a really common “saying” but can you explain a bit “why” ? Is it because the experience that makes you know more than the average Joe or to know that you had someone at one time? Or is is purely the experience of love in general?

It is because if u r lonely u never had a chance and never tried but if u become heartbroken at least u tried and its a lot easier to get through

It’s not easier to get through if you’ve loved before unless you can say, I know I can feel better if I find someone to love again…..being heartbroken is like a wound that doesn’t heal….it hurts to remember someone’s betrayal even years after it ocurred. That I think is “breaking someone’s heart”.

Malia wrote:
It’s not easier to get through if you’ve loved before unless you can say, I know I can feel better if I find someone to love again…..being heartbroken is like a wound that doesn’t heal….it hurts to remember someone’s betrayal even years after it ocurred. That I think is “breaking someone’s heart”.

yes but being lonely is to never have loved and to be afraid to love being heartbroken you are hurt but you can still find someone else

lonliness can be missing your family, your friends…..heartbroken is a wound…it’s not anywhere near the same feeling.

Malia wrote:
lonliness can be missing your family, your friends…..heartbroken is a wound…it’s not anywhere near the same feeling.

Your right. I’m sorry for your loss:\ But it is true. I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen the opera “love never dies” but it is so true; love never dies.

It is true…true love in the simplest sense never dies. I still love my sister as much as I did the day before she died, that will never change. I still love my children with every breath I take, I still love my husband Sidney as I did the day before he died….true love stays with you. I miss those I’ve lost with an ache that can’t be mended, but at the same time, I am humbled by the fact that I have been in my life indeed loved fully and without reservation. So even though at this junction of my life, I am alone…but not without memories of true love. Peace, M.

I never really been “lonely” that is, about a relationship, for some reason I always end up with someone. But I had 2 longs relantionships, one lasted for 3 years, I think that was what we call first love, and I remember well, he was the one who broke up with me after some time of intense fights, I spend 1 whole month without leaving my room, just crying and about 3 months without leaving the house, that was the biggest sink I ever had, yet I was young. I decided to leave my country than, following a friends advice, even after 2 years away I still had thoughts of him, and my heart would hurt a bit, eventually I got over it, by time… so NO I dont like being heart broken. But like I said, after I left the country I already engaged in another relationship with that “friend” but he knew my heart wasant 100% there. Still he was persistent, we worked the relationship somehow and we are still together, about 6 years. In the back of my mind I sometimes think, I could do better being “alone”, “lonely”, but than I dont want to feel the same feelings I had before, when I was heartbroken.
Still for some reason I dont feel my love for my actual boyfriend is the same feeling I had before.
Trully Im afraid to move on, emotionally I depend on him, that makes me sad sometimes.
So if I could, I would choose to be lonely, but I dont think I can really.

Oh my god somebody close the post already I’ve had like a few notifications each day for about a monthh

Lonely.
For I wouldn’t be able to live if i were to be heartbroken again :’(

Also, Lonely means i can not have to ever hurt the other person =)

I choose lonely cuz u won’t have to deal with all the b.s. & drama that comes with being heartbroken or in love. i hate love because if it’s not mutual and it usually isn’t you feel worse than when you started. before love i was fine. there’s always a user/abuser or a loser in a relationship.

Masmala:If you’ve been in a “love relationship” and felt there was a loser or an abuser in the relationship, that wasn’t a love relationship-no love present.

heartbroken… all the way… cause lonely is forever and an indefinent feeling… heart broken started because i had something great and lost it…

meaning i have the ability to find something again

lonely is just like i did not have anything and i still dont and i dont look to have anything…. Lonely sucks!!!!!!!!!!

and usually where you find lonely you find depression… and depression is a bigger bastard …

Malia wrote:
I disagree Sammi: Heartbroken is when you feel unworthy of love because of someone’s behavior towards you. They hurt you emotionally. Lonliness is asexual, you could be lonely for company or companionship or you could feel lonely for a lover or love.

Well yes but after the fact you are lonley you feel like no one is there for you and that no one loves you because of that one person

Yes, that heartache stays with you and affects the next relationship you enter into. I think that those who hurt others are purpose should have bad mojo til they fix it, that’s my thought….I’m sticking to that. Oh, I like your name…sammijo…cute.

lonely because i think it hurts less

At this point, I’m heartbroken and lonely…..lonely for my children, my home, my family……I want to go home, I don’t want to go through this alone any longer.

I would choose being lonely. Many people think that the joy of life comes principally from the joy of human relationships. God’s place is all around us, it is in everything and in anything we can experience. People just need to change the way they look at things.

I don’t see God right now, I haven’t seen HIM all year. At this point, I don’t know where HE is because he hasn’t been present in my life.

heartbroken, because then at least you have the expierence of giving your heart away in the first place /3

I would most definately choose “lonely”
But you see, you never have to be lonely…ever…
YOu might think that you are, and it is so easy to feel that way sometimes, but the truth is, we have a God…an awesome God. He promises us that we will never be alone, until the day we die, we just have to choose to accept his love…

Joshua 1:9
Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

I dont know if you are religous or not, but if not, then i strongly suggest you get to know God…let me assure you, it will be the best thing you ever do.
p.s…another thing, you are never alone because there is always someone out there who loves you, even if you dont know them…for example…im thinking about you right now! I care for you!
Keep your head up high and Good luck!

Heartbroken..
Because it is better to experience love then to experience none at all..
I remember somewhere “It’s better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all.”
I agree with it.

Lonely because I would rater fill nothing than fill pain.

The two are synonymous to me. But then I don’t equate feeling lonely to being alone.

Lonely, you can always FIND someone. ANYONE to fill the gap.
Heartbreak…
You can be back to square one by the time you see the person again…
It never really leaves you.

Being heartbroken is definitely better than lonliness however, they both suck!

why chose one? they will BOTH come, and they will always kill you in the end. :/

That’s a good point. For one loneliness and heartbreak are both terrible, and in some cases can be deadly.

i would pick lonely

I change my mind!!
Heartbroken is MUCH MUCH better!
Then you could see…how much love truely was..

I would rather be lonely heartbroken comes with crying and a much much more deeper depression than being lonely. You worry about your ex and seeing them being lonely you justt worry about being alone but there is 10000000 people in the world im pretty sure there is more than one perfect matches for you

If you love someone set them free

@cararrod someone cast a spell on me to urge you the get lost