well what kind of unresovled issues? maybe you should sort them out with her, it should thearetically help
Proff. Vampress 3:D wrote:
well what kind of unresovled issues? maybe you should sort them out with her, it should thearetically help
As in how hurt and angry I was that she attempted suicide 4 or 5 times when I was the only one around. It was such a selfish thing to do.
I wont ever be able to talk to her about it, no one ever will without pushing her about 6 months backwards into depression.
omg! Im sorry honey, what kind of effect this must of had&still having on you must be enormous!
where is your dad if you dont mind me asking&what prompted your mum to do such a thing??
~Darkness~ wrote:
Proff. Vampress 3:D wrote:
well what kind of unresovled issues? maybe you should sort them out with her, it should thearetically help
As in how hurt and angry I was that she attempted suicide 4 or 5 times when I was the only one around. It was such a selfish thing to do.
I wont ever be able to talk to her about it, no one ever will without pushing her about 6 months backwards into depression.
hmm….tricky….time CAN heal wounds but im not sure about that….whats done is done, it cant be undone, (unless you want me to go technical on you but then i will be typing for hours) just be happy she isnt trying to do that anymore and that SHE IS STILL HERE!
was your mother ok before the breast cancer or did she have other issues besides?
angie :) wrote:
was your mother ok before the breast cancer or did she have other issues besides?
Erm, she’s had a very hard life. She suffers from clinical depression and gets like this every couple of years. But not this bad. When she was 21 (before I was around) apparently she tried to overdose then and was in a mental health hospital for about 6months or so.
My dad lives with us, but she doesnt seem to care enough about any of us to try to get better.
Now she just lies in bed. All day. Everyday.
But it’s still huge progress I guess.
Oh my word, my heart goes out to you hun, it really does :(
looks like no matter how hards your mums trying, shes trapped in a world of her own.
you say no matter what you try you cant get through to her?
when she gets out of bed how does she act?
angie :) wrote:
Oh my word, my heart goes out to you hun, it really does :(
looks like no matter how hards your mums trying, shes trapped in a world of her own.
you say no matter what you try you cant get through to her?
when she gets out of bed how does she act?
She’s just really insecure. Can’t go out on her own etc. She has very thin short hair now due to the chemo. She’s put on a lot of weight. Her clothes are all old and don’t fit.
Iunno. Some days she’s fine but I find myself getting angry at her sometimes if she wont get up etc.
If you think she’s a different person, you’ve convinced yourself that she is irrevocably changed. This will also change your relationship. If you see her as a different person, of course your relationship with her will never be the same as it was. In your mind, you’re just trying to have the exact same thing with (figuratively) two different people. I don’t think you’ll ever be able to reconcile that, which is what’s making you struggle so much with this.
~Darkness~ wrote:
angie :) wrote:
Oh my word, my heart goes out to you hun, it really does :(
looks like no matter how hards your mums trying, shes trapped in a world of her own.
you say no matter what you try you cant get through to her?
when she gets out of bed how does she act?
She’s just really insecure. Can’t go out on her own etc. She has very thin short hair now due to the chemo. She’s put on a lot of weight. Her clothes are all old and don’t fit.
Iunno. Some days she’s fine but I find myself getting angry at her sometimes if she wont get up etc.
you know, maybe your the second person ive told this to in my entire life
my mum used to ail quite a lot&also got depressed, every time I came home from school I hated it! she was in bed&my dad had to look after us kids.
Most days my dad was drunk so basically we had to fend for ourselves.
anyway, I began to loathe my mum for being so depressed&ill all the time,sounds selfish doesnt it?
as a child parents havnt a clue what kind of emotional trauma they put us through
they are so wrapped up in their own demons they complete forget we have them to.
My mum also tried top herself, she took tablets(lots of them)
then waited for us to watch her die!!
ill never forget that moment as long as I live,she had to go to hospital&have her stomach pumped! I was so shaken that day watching them put tubes here&there
I must of cried for hours, (my dad was still in the pub btw)my bf then whos now my hubby saved me, I would of gone under if it wasnt for him.
I know what you mean tho when you talk about being angry, theres only so much a childs heart can take&memories sadly do last forever!
have you got anyone hun,a bf etc?
someone who will save you?
angie :) wrote:
~Darkness~ wrote:
angie :) wrote:
Oh my word, my heart goes out to you hun, it really does :(
looks like no matter how hards your mums trying, shes trapped in a world of her own.
you say no matter what you try you cant get through to her?
when she gets out of bed how does she act?
She’s just really insecure. Can’t go out on her own etc. She has very thin short hair now due to the chemo. She’s put on a lot of weight. Her clothes are all old and don’t fit.
Iunno. Some days she’s fine but I find myself getting angry at her sometimes if she wont get up etc.
you know, maybe your the second person ive told this to in my entire life
my mum used to ail quite a lot&also got depressed, every time I came home from school I hated it! she was in bed&my dad had to look after us kids.
Most days my dad was drunk so basically we had to fend for ourselves.
anyway, I began to loathe my mum for being so depressed&ill all the time,sounds selfish doesnt it?
as a child parents havnt a clue what kind of emotional trauma they put us through
they are so wrapped up in their own demons they complete forget we have them to.
My mum also tried top herself, she took tablets(lots of them)
then waited for us to watch her die!!
ill never forget that moment as long as I live,she had to go to hospital&have her stomach pumped! I was so shaken that day watching them put tubes here&there
I must of cried for hours, (my dad was still in the pub btw)my bf then whos now my hubby saved me, I would of gone under if it wasnt for him.
I know what you mean tho when you talk about being angry, theres only so much a childs heart can take&memories sadly do last forever!
have you got anyone hun,a bf etc?
someone who will save you?
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and 10 months and I would be so lost without him.
What you just described sounds so familiar. It just makes me so hurt and angry that she chose to overdose with only me in the house. I understand that she wasnt thinking straight and it’s selfish for me to get angry but it was just so awful watching her writhing and shouting at people who weren’t there. And if I hadn’t have come out of the shower in time to call an ambulance for her then I would have found her dead.
I just think that it’s something I’m never going to heal from. I can’t put into words how awful it all was.
you dont have to put it in words hun, ive already done it for you
as for you being selfish, nooo your not as I to wasnt selfish at the time, thing is we sometimes put our parents on a pedastal&expect them to behave a certain way&when they dont conform it becomes irrational.its no fault of our own its only what society has taught us :/
Im glad youve got someone to lean on hun,what does he make of all this?
angie :) wrote:
you dont have to put it in words hun, ive already done it for you
as for you being selfish, nooo your not as I to wasnt selfish at the time, thing is we sometimes put our parents on a pedastal&expect them to behave a certain way&when they dont conform it becomes irrational.its no fault of our own its only what society has taught us :/
Im glad youve got someone to lean on hun,what does he make of all this?
I’m not really sure. He is very very supportive but can’t really do more than be there for me
Have you any brothers/sisters
if so what age?
How is your dad copeing, does he have any help?
angie :) wrote:
Have you any brothers/sisters
if so what age?
How is your dad copeing, does he have any help?
I have a 19 year old brother with asperges who is unemployed and not in education and just sits around on the computer.
We used to have nurses and people coming to the house but they don’t come anymore, they didn’t seem to help.
My dad doesn’t have any help.
But he seems suprisingly ok.
Havnt we talked before?
Have they been told not to come round or have they just stopped?
how old are you hun? any chance you&your bf gettinga place of your own?
painted smile maybe?
angie :) wrote:
Havnt we talked before?
Have they been told not to come round or have they just stopped?
how old are you hun? any chance you&your bf gettinga place of your own?
painted smile maybe?
I’m 17.
It would be a long while to get a place of our own, we have no money :/
No, I don’t think we’ve spoken before but it’s helping. Thank you
so young&going through so much! you know the most ironic thing
I also was 17 when that happened to my mum .
I speak to so many kids here with near enough the same issues,its a sad world we live in, yet we still have to fight&eventually we will win the battle you know,it just takes time :)
I bet you would be a little resiliant to leave anyway, under the circumstances.
I wish I could tell you things will get better with your mum but until she comes out of her own little land the only thing you can do is sit back&watch :(
Im glad Im helping hun, its great to get things of ones chest,somethings can actually tear you from the inside&gobble you up!
its better to be free of these demons :)
angie :) wrote:
so young&going through so much! you know the most ironic thing
I also was 17 when that happened to my mum .
I speak to so many kids here with near enough the same issues,its a sad world we live in, yet we still have to fight&eventually we will win the battle you know,it just takes time :)
I bet you would be a little resiliant to leave anyway, under the circumstances.
I wish I could tell you things will get better with your mum but until she comes out of her own little land the only thing you can do is sit back&watch :(
Im glad Im helping hun, its great to get things of ones chest,somethings can actually tear you from the inside&gobble you up!
its better to be free of these demons :)
Thannk you. I feel as though I should be asking a question but I suppose the only thing I want from this is to just say it out loud to someone who cares. I just need to get it off my chest.
I tried telling some of my friends but they’re immature and presumed I’m lying and exagerating because my mum used to work at my school and they know how bubbly she used to be.
when I mentioned a painted smile did you know what I was talking about?
just because we are smiling doesnt neccesarilly mean we are happy with ourselves inside.(we wear a mask)
You can ask me what ever question you want hun :)
I think your better speaking to someone who as actually witnessed something like this first hand *raises hand*
Its so easy to get lost in another world, the question is how you travel back&how long the journey will take.
^)$*"$(%" edited this post 3 years ago. Read the previous text »
Ok, so this is a bit more vunerable than I like to get on help but…
So some of you might know my issues with my mother. She’s tried to kill herself a lot of times over the past couple of years. It started when she got diagnosed with Breast cancer, she recovered but suffered depression and just hasnt come out of it for nearly 3 years.
She was in a mental hospital for a while but then moved home.
She overdosed whilst I was the only one in the house. Anyway, I’m going to get straight to the point or I’ll get overly emotional.
My question is this: My mum has big scars across her wrists with stitch scars across them. Every time I see them I get reminded of all the awfull things that have happened and I have seen over the past two years.
I was wondering if anyone knows how I can act normal with her again, she’s not the same person. At all. Maybe her overdose altered her personality?
I dont know.
I just can’t be ok with her.
And I get angry at her really quickly because I have such unresolved issues.
:/ Also I don’t want to be told to see a professional. That’s not what this is about. It’s more has anyone gone through anything similar
This reply has been removed.
poser9 wrote:
And this ISN’T bitter and unbalanced????
No it’s actually not.
But I would LOVE for you to try to tell me how it is if you can squeeze it in before you get banned.
Im sorry to hear of your family difficulty..
I too hve problems with my mum who self-harms
and says terrible things… Its very mentally
scarring for the children who I think go
through something worse than the person themselves..
I find that talking about the problem without
getting understood or the person being negative
about it can make me feel worse.. there must be
something or someone (not you) that keeps keeping
her too low in the pits of hell that isnt going
away for her, and she cant live with it.. so sorry
The only answer I keep coming up with is removing
whatever it is completely as shes crying out
for rescue and help..
^)$*"$(%" edited this post 2 years, 9 months ago. Read the previous text »
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ProffVampy
Angie.
Haephestius
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