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shivcoyn

Hello people!

I appear to be having a bit of a crisis at the moment, and anyone could help me out that would be great!

The problem is, I don’t really know who I am, and I know that sounds really trivial but its the way I feel at the moment. What I mean is, I’m in my third year at uni, and all my friends know what they want to do, but I have absolutely no clue! Also its not just in terms of getting a job etc, its socially aswell, I have a few close really good mates, but I always find it takes me a long time to get to know new people, I’m quite shy and I know that I need to make a really big effort to get to know new people. Its really frustrating because I know being shy is ultimately pathetic, and no-one really gives a monkies what most people think or have to say but something in my head always pings and thinks right just say nothing??! I’ve recently fallen out with 2 people over this, but I guess some people aren’t just meant to be friends anyway.

As I’ve said above, my close friends have great jobs and are moving into houses, and I think I’m just hanging on until I finish uni but I have no plans after that! I failed my first essay in 3 years this morning, and now I’m really starting to panic, I don’t want to fail my last year, but I don’t know what I can do? My confidence levels are at a bit of a low now…..I think i need some chocolate, lol!

But yeah…thats it….It really annoys me to have to post this because I know for a fact people have much worse problems, it seems pathetic to me, does it seem pathetic to you?

This open post was written 2 years, 10 months ago | V/U/S: 217, 2, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post shivcoyn may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. shivcoyn is not a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 10 months and has 1 posts and 0 replies to their name.

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shy, aswell, close friends, arent, getting a job, monkies, Sounds, uni, friends, clue (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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javiros #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 10 months ago (21 minutes after post)

It doesn’t particularly seem pathetic. Plenty of people have a similar problems. Shyness is pretty common too.

When it comes to finding out what you want to do after your get out of school realize that what you doesn’t necessarily have to be directly related to your degree. For example, financial companies seem to be the very flexible as far as I have seen.

If your academics don’t seem to help you point to where you want to go, look at the job market. There are books that are full of job descriptions their requirements and their predicted future growth. I found a couple at Barnes and Nobles, but I would think that any large bookstore would have a similar careers sections.

For me I was a bit shy as well, but I probably had a different problem than you. I never found anyone really like me who I wanted to talk to, up until later in life, so I just assumed I was shy. I also realized that I prefer to have few close friends rather than many who I could easily lose touch with.

Many universities have counselors which might be able to offer some strategies to help you meet the people you need to. However, don’t feel that if you go them that you are afflicted, they are just the people that are _supposed_ to specialize in these type of issues. There is also: http://www.shyness.com/shyness-clinic… . I’m not sure how useful that institute is though.

I also helped deal with my shyness, by putting myself in positions where I was forced to interact with people, but under scripted circumstances. I worked at a restaurant as a host, so all I was required to say is here’s your menu and here you go. Anything else was optional and so I could experiment as much as I liked.

If you want to talk more about the issue feel free to email me.

This account has been deactivated.

IamMyKidsMom 18 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 10 months ago (29 minutes after post)

Firstly…feed your guilt by getting a nice box of chocolates. While you�re eating them…get out all your guilt over the essay. When you are done with the chocolates, you are done feeling bad over your essay grade. After that, start fresh, and new. Many people in college still have to direction as to where they are going or what they truly want to do with their lives. This is common. If a majority of your friends already know, well…then good for them. They got an early start.
Some people know what they want to do at an early age, some still don’t know at the age of 40….
Have you tried taking a career class by chance? Also, you have a year to make any real decisions as to what you will be doing (concerning a house etc.). I didn�t get a house until I was married…so, everything happens differently for different people. You should not judge yourself by what others are doing�work at your own pace.

Also, the issue of friends and friendships. Some people have many friends, and some only one or two �real� friends. I too have a difficult time making friends and am a bit of an introvert. Those are our personal challenges (the ones that we need to keep that extra box of chocolates around for in emergencies). At my age, I say this: If they truly don�t like me the way I am and I have to really work hard to keep the relationship with this friend afloat, then I bag it. I feel now, that if they do not like me for who I am, I shouldn�t have to change �me� in any way and I release myself from the friendship. You seem to put pressure on yourself about what others think (which we all do). Once you can learn to let some of that go, I think your life will be easier to enjoy.

Good luck, I can see you are a strong and determined young chap with a few things on your plate. Take issues as they come and don’t sweat the little things. Focus on one issue at a time and everything will fall into place–really. You’ll look back on this 15 years from now and think : “Why was I ever worried?!?”

=)

Firstly...feed your guilt by getting a nice box of chocolates. While you�re eating them...get out all your guilt over the essay. When you are done with the chocolates, you are done feeling bad over your essay grade. After that, start fresh, and new. Many people in college still have to direction as to where they are going or what they truly want to do with their lives. This is common. If a majority of your friends already know, well...then good for them. They got an early start. 
Some people know what they want to do at an early age, some still don't know at the age of 40....
Have you tried taking a career class by chance? Also, you have a year to make any real decisions as to what you will be doing (concerning a house etc.). I didn�t get a house until I was married...so, everything happens differently for different people. You should not judge yourself by what others are doing�work at your own pace.

Also, the issue of friends and friendships. Some people have many friends, and some only one or two �real� friends. I too have a difficult time making friends and am a bit of an introvert. Those are our personal challenges (the ones that we need to keep that extra box of chocolates around for in emergencies). At my age, I say this: If they truly don�t like me the way I am and I have to really work hard to keep the relationship with this friend afloat, then I bag it. I feel now, that if they do not like me for who I am, I shouldn�t have to change �me� in any way and I release myself from the friendship. You seem to put pressure on yourself about what others think (which we all do). Once you can learn to let some of that go, I think your life will be easier to enjoy.

Good luck, I can see you are a strong and determined young chap with a few things on your plate. Take issues as they come and don't sweat the little things. Focus on one issue at a time and everything will fall into place--really. You'll look back on this 15 years from now and think : "Why was I ever worried?!?"

=)

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