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Need advice, what would you do in my situation?
Ok so i’ve always had an anxiety problem that rears itself sometimes and when i do i get very bad nausea and vomiting. Recently i’ve got it worse than ever, barely able to eat a thing, sleep, off work sick, struggling to get through each day, feels unbearable half the time etc.
Now i’ve been to the doctors and they have given me valium and an antidepressant. The only problem is last time i tried an antidepressant it made me feel suicidal (only time i have ever truly felt that way) and a ton of other horrible symptoms.
I live with my mum, dad and disabled sister (needs 100% care from my mum as shes a 16 year old with the brain of a one year old) and my mum also has to deal with my nans dementia. Needless to say it’s tough.
So when i told my mum i had been given antidepressants again she flipped out- shes already super stressed from everything else and me being as bad as i am. She’s crying, breaking down, getting really upset– really really bad and told me she won’t let me take the anti-depressants unless i go in somewhere- i.e a hospital or mental hospital. She says she couldn’t cope to see me as bad as i was again i.e suicidal
My doctor also advised to try and go to work because last time that got me back to “normal”, well i honestly feel like i can’t go back to work, i feel to emotionally drained, haven’t eaten more than a few morsals for like a week, feel depressed, unable to cope. I feel i can’t continue like i am and need something.
So my question is- what should i do?
Should i take the antidepressants and valium and risk feling suicidal again (never ever felt that way without the drugs) even though my mum won’t let me?
Should i try and check my self in somewhere and do things that way?
Should i leave the drugs and try and sort myself out naturally?
Should i move out of home somewhere, anywhere and deal with things with or without the drugs that way? away from my family pressures which make things worse?
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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