This post left anonymously
I am person, soon to be homeless, who needs help to find housing.
I want to move to San Francisco. I currently live in Los Angeles.
Previously, I was living in an abusive marriage for 5 years. I escaped in 2007. I lived in a hotel for 5 months until I exhausted my financial resources. I then contacted my daughter who lives in Los Angeles and asked her if I could stay with her. I flew to Los Angeles, to stay with here. But upon meeting me at the airport, my daughter insulted me and demeaned me in front of her boyfriend. In other words, from the first moments of my stay, I have been subjected to unpleasant, unkind and abusive treatment from my daughter and her boyfriend. I now realized that, no matter how bad my situation was, I should never have come here.
I am still residing with my daughter in her apartment with her boyfriend. She made it clear from day one that she did not want me here. I could not at first believe that she really was hostile to me. Finally, after numerous incidents, I have come to accept that she not only doesn’t like me, she hates me and despises me. She torments me and constantly mistreats me. Her boyfriend and she often gang up on me together, confronting me, insulting, attacking me, humiliating me. Her boyfriends tries to be very aggressive and dominating. Recently they confronted me to tell me that I couldn’t speak Spanish in the house. My daughter spreads stories about me, devalues me, and has excluded me from every single aspect of her life in every way possible.
My story is so bizarre and so shocking, that I had a hard time believing and accepting the reality myself. Especially because she was a pleasant and decent child and I always thought that we were very close. Yet ever since coming to her home, she has been very unfriendly, abusive and rejecting of me. Her boyfriend hates me and accuses me of nutty things like locking their cat in their bedroom in order to cause accidents. He has put locks on doors, etc. In the first year here my life conditions plummeted. I lost so much weight because I did not have money and they refused to buy food. I was so ashamed, I never told my other child who lives in New York. Finally, in desperation, I told him but he has a minimum wage job, lives with many roommates and could nothing to help me. He intervened, to get them to buy food. Yet, they still continued to treat me badly here. In 2009, I had a nervous breakdown as a result of the harsh environment. I have never really recovered. I was just so severely traumatized by this experience. I have spent hours every day in church. (To no avail - I have had no help from God).
Since coming, my daughter has repeatedly put me out. Around every 3-4 weeks, she provokes a crisis. I rarely sleep, I am haggard and unhealthy. I am constantly in a state of shock and stress. I cry all the time. I pray for God to kill me, to end my sad life. I need to leave because I realize that this situation is very destructive and will never get better. I now suffer from a severe case of agoraphobia. I have not left the house in 6 months. I rarely leave the room in which I sleep. Yet, I must leave. I have become extremely introverted, I am very sad, I have lost all self-confidence, and self-respect. I have no money and I don’t know where I can go in this country. I currently live in Los Angeles. I know that I will never get on my feet here.
I am leaving not only because I have been asked repeatedly, but I really can’t take anymore pain, sorrow, rejection, exclusion. I spoke to a professional and she said that I am being socialized into a highly dysfunctional role in this couple’s life. She told me to get out, that homelessness was much better than the cruelty that they were subjecting me to. When I was starving, I had to go to a charity for food; they refused to believe my story. The entire experience is so weird, brutal and humiliating. My daughter’s boyfriend is not of my race, he is white. He treats me as though I am just dirt. I am a college educated woman, very decent, attractive, pleasant and ethical. I have been an administrator. But from the moment he saw me, he was hostile, insulting and rejecting. It is very hurtful to be treated so badly.
I had a very dark childhood, both my parents are dead, I raised my two children alone with great difficulty and hardship. I have no living friends or family left on earth. I have no one to turn to. I am 50 years old and can not seem to get back into the swing of things. My life seems ruined.
The reason that I am now leaving is that my daughter came to tell me that from the time I arrived, her boyfriend has constantly threatened to break up with her if she doesn’t make me leave. She has told me that he will never marry her if I remain - he doesn’t even want me to live in this state. He has offered to pay a plane ticket if I return to my former, abusive husband - who lives 8,000 miles away. My daughter also wants me to return to my abusive husband. I don’t want to go back where I was being abused physically, mentally and psychologically. But I also don’t want to impede my daughter’s happiness anymore than I have done. In light of the abusive behavior that she has already shown me, I am convinced that she doesn’t love me, really hates me and will continue to harm me profoundly, irrevocably and brutally if I remain here. I have already lost so much - there appears to be nothing else that I can lose. I have even had extreme dental problems and the loss of some teeth due to neglect.
Still I am afraid of becoming homeless. I ask anyone who has some extra money to help me. I have a Paypal account and I can make it available if anyone if willing. I anyone knows about an apartment or other housing arrangement in San Francisco, I would be grateful to hear about it. I hope that I will find someone who cares out there. Thank you.
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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