My parents wont let me speak to my daughter who is 5, due to bad relationship choices I made with her father, in the past.
My son turns 1 next week, they never ever call for him or me, and yet they sent him a present for his birthday. Should I send it back unopened to show them how P*** off I am???
Since writing this post everlast1224 has helped in 1 other user's post within the last 4 days. everlast1224 is a verified member, has been around for 4 years, 3 months and has 62 posts and 346 replies to their name.
Post Tags (10)
I think you need to explain the situation a bit more.
are your parents the legal guardians of your daughter? that’s the only way they could possibly(and you’d have to look into it) stop you from seeing your kid. if you’re still the guardian idk why in the world you’re letting this happen. i don’t think the present matters much in this case, but if it’ll make you feel better you can indeed return it and they could probably get their money back.
I was with her father for 6 years, she was taken away from us when she was 6months. He was abusive, I kept going back to him because I felt sorry for him and wanted to help him. They went to court and got custody of her, i couldnt get there. Anyway, cut a long story short, I left him 2 years ago, and have changed my life around, getting counselling, have a new relationship, little boy, new life. they said if i get counselling and make big changes then they will ‘think’ about letting me speak to her, they havent. I feel like they blackmailed to to get me to do what they want ie:counselling, and bluff me thinking i can speak to her when they havent let me. I have done everything they asked, and they deny me contact. i just want to speak to my daughter and my son is missing out too and she doesnt even get to know her brother, why does he have to be punished for what i’ve done? Why do they continue to hurt me. She is my daughter, not theirs.
They do not trust you. Do you agree that they have this right?
If you want legal custody, legal action is what you should take. However, it’s rather obvious that a sign of rebellion will not mend the broken trust.
Because they legally got custody of her,thats why. Now there are a few options available to you legally,but even those are going to require you to prove you are a good parent INCLUDING going to counseling among other things.
Were I you,I would contact legal council in your locality. Most courts want children to be with their biological parents if possible…but I can assure you begging them to get her back wont merit you anything as they arent the ones who are in control of custody…the court (child services) is.
youre making this about you, and its not, its about your son. they clearly do still care and want to be a part of their grandchilds life, or they wouldnt have sent a present. dont let your own emotions deprive your child of his grandparents, thats not fair, nor is it responsible.
you have to understand that they have your childs best interests at heart, and must be 100% confident in your abilities to parent before they let you anywhere near that child.
im not sure why you think this is about “doing what they have asked”, because its not. its about the safety of those children.
thankyou courty, i really appreciate your advice. But still, i just want to speak to her on the phone and they wont even allow that.
what are their reasons? if you rang and asked right now to speak to her, what would they say?
Hi, they have adopted and raised your daughter as their own. They don’t want you in and out of the life they have given her, probably letting her believe they are her parents. Apparently they don’t believe in you and think you’ll flake out again and mess up with the next guy that comes along. Bide your time, they know you can’t afford the legal costs to pursue custody. Love your daughter, one day she will know the truth. The audacity to send your son a birthday gift, … well, those are your parents. I don’t think I’d give it to him, I think I’d just ignore them the way they are ignoring you. For sanity sake.
Should the girl want to meet her real mother someday, she will ask and be granted permission by your parents.
I don’t think the ambiguity of having two fathers and two mothers is very healthy at that age.
The old saying holds true…trust takes forever to gain and only mere seconds to lose. But I’m still standing by my previous response that if you are serious about regaining custody,I’d call a lawyer and find out what steps need to be taken.
Thanks everybody. Cty, if i rang right now they would simply say ,NO, she isnt ready yet, it will confuse her.My god, she is 5, not stupid. She is very smart and speaks fluently! I bet they havent asked her what she wants, because they are most probably afraid of what she’ll say, Yes, I’d like to speak to mummy and my brother. Her brother is perfectly cared for here with me, i am a good mum and i just want to speak with ther and they are afraid of losing her and that she will want more contact with me.
how much does she know about whats going on? does she know why she lives with her grandparents and not you?
they may simply believe that this is far too complicated for a 5 year old to understand, and be trying to just keep her innocent of it all for as long as they can.
it sounds like you need to sit down with your folks and have a really good talk about where youre at and how you want to proceed from here. if all else fails, you are still her biological mother and can file for custody through the courts if they are not willing to speak to you.
Invite Others to Help
A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.