My family does not like me.
I am a 16 year old girl with three older siblings. Two of them are moved out. One just graduated high school. Over the years, I realized how far apart I have grown from my mother, and the rest of my family, at that. My dad and I never really had a bond… but when I was young, I was always “Mommy’s girl.” As I am getting older, I have come to realize just how shadey my family is. My brother is pretty selfish and completely detached from the family. My oldest sister and my mom are like best friends. My sister who is two years older than me is completely irresponsible with drugs, alchohol and sex (which my parents have known for years). But they seem to like her way more than me.
I do not understand how my family has gotten to this dark place. but my home is simply unenjoyable. In every way.
Over the years, I’ve learned that my mom has developed a serious spending issue. And an even bigger lying issue. In 2003-2005, my Uncle (her brother) went to Iraq, so we housed my cousins during his term. Within those two years, my Uncle had been sending money to my mother to take care of my cousins… guess what my mother spent most of that money on? Herself. Clothes, gambling, cigarettes, makeup, ect. And from middle school to highschool…. maybe even a little younger than that (Im not quite sure), my mom had been hiding bills from my dad in my room. She would call me after school and ask me to get the mail and put it under my bed, in my drawers, and in my closet. At the beginning of this year, I started to realize how bad this situation was. And how bad my mother is (when it comes to that), so I ended up telling my dad. After telling my dad, I learned that she had done the same thing to him years ago. It almost cost them a divorce, and a torn family. Now, I fear she has gained an addiction to prescription pills, and she still has a spending problem.
Since the event of me telling my dad, I can tell my mother has been grudging on me. She has told me for years, “Lindsey, Your my daughter. So ofcourse I love you. But do I like you? Absolutely not.” She had told me it would be my fault if my parents divorced. Which I know it isn’t true. People have told me to emotionally detach from her horrible words and empty affections. But I wear my heart on my sleeve. I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink, I’m a virgin, and Im improving my grades in school. Im trying to make my parents proud. But all they say is “If you would clean more, things would be more enjoyable around here.” I think my mom has manipulated my dad and my older siblings into thinking I am this horrible person. When I was in middleschool… My mom convinced me that I had a mental illness. After years of becoming good friends with the school counselors, I’ve realized that I am perfectly fine.
Home life now is too emotionally draining. My parents and I don’t get along at all. Sometimes I will turn to my dad for help, or for comfort. But it always ends up the same… He tells me I’m making excuses, and that I need to clean more.
I would put up with this better if I had someone (in this house) that is on my side. But no one is.
I look at my mom as an evil person, and my dad as a disappointment.
I dont want to feel that way… But I simply feel hopeless… and Im left with this hatred.
I realize Im 16 years old, and there’s not a lot I can do for myself.
And that other kids have it way worse than me, but we all have different tolerances.
I noticed I don’t have a lot of friends anymore… and that Im a colder person with people.
But, even though I am young, and I have a lot of growing up to do… I know when something isn’t right.
And the mental neglect I face, is becoming unbarable.
What do I do?
Since writing this post snapitzlindse may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. snapitzlindse is a verified member, has been around for 3 years, 5 months and has 2 posts and 8 replies to their name.
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