life help: Marriage…. - Help.com

If you have children it is nice for them to be legitimate.

What tax deductions? Are you serious? If anything, there is a tax penalty when you’re married. If you marry you file your income jointly, and if your combined income is less than 250k a year, you are screwed. You’ll be in a higher tax bracket than you would have been as individuals and they’ll take considerably more from your income.

Is it really necessary now? I am all for long term monogamous relationships. I am in a very loving relationship. My boyfriend is a great guy and I am very fortunate to have him in my life. He wants to get married ( he hasn’t popped the question ) but I don’t. No one in my family was never married or are in relationships when they got in their 40’s. That is why I grew up never thinking about relationships or marriage. My boyfriend jokes that he wants to get married because of the tax deductions. I think marriage is special and should be something respected between to loving parties.
I think there’s a certain way that you view marriage. It’s based upon your family experience. I think that has formed your perspective. What you may not understnad is that when you get older and older it becomes harder and harder to get married - there simply isn’t a large and desireable buffet line to choose from and the final option is to remain single. Oh sure, the older folks wrap this truth up to make it seem that it’s what they wanted, but, by and large, it’s not what they want.
I don’t think ‘tax deductions are a substitute for a lifetime of love and commitment, as your boyfriend would jokingly amuse - there are more serious, underlying connotations to marry. Also, the odds of becomming involed in a good relationship decrease is you have children from a former relationship or situation. I think if your boyfriend wants to get married. . .you should consider it strongly.

Whoops let me erase my copy of your post. . .
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I think there’s a certain way that you view marriage. It’s based upon your family experience. I think that has formed your perspective. What you may not understnad is that when you get older and older it becomes harder and harder to get married - there simply isn’t a large and desireable buffet line to choose from and the final option is to remain single. Oh sure, the older folks wrap this truth up to make it seem that it’s what they wanted, but, by and large, it’s not what they want.
I don’t think ‘tax deductions are a substitute for a lifetime of love and commitment, as your boyfriend would jokingly amuse - there are more serious, underlying connotations to marry. Also, the odds of becomming involed in a good relationship decrease is you have children from a former relationship or situation. I think if your boyfriend wants to get married. . .you should consider it strongly.[/quote]

Madeline_Ines wrote:
Well my boyfriend jokes around about the tax thing. But he wants to do it because of love and eventually he wants our relationship to go to the next level. But my question is… if we don’t marry what are we missing out of our relationship?

You are missing the genuine stress tests that form closer bonds durring both hardship and time of ease. It’s the fact that when times get hard, the option to bail is an open door - that’s for openers.

Madeline_Ines wrote:
We for me personally the option to bail will always be there. A marriage will not keep me around if I am unhappy.

. . .that depends on how serious you are about your vows to the commitment of the relationship . . .and the state laws that make divorce rather difficult. marriage involves a deeper meaning than just ‘hanging together’. It’s called a sacred bond for a reason. We however live in a day of age that disregards anything sacred - and it’s mostly based on selfish reasons.

Madeline_Ines wrote:
I agree with you it is a sacred bond. For me cheating is a big “good bye”. I will never be able to get over it and if there ever is a time that I might be able to forgive I will never trust him. I refuse to be that woman that constantly needs to be reach of her spouse to make sure he doesn’t cheat. That alone will drive me crazy let alone him.

I understand that’s the way you feel. . .about cheating. But does what you say reflect the character of your mate? And if not, I would encourage you to examine your trust issues more closely.