relationship help: My husband just got deployed for his second deployment to Iraq about two weeks ago. - Help.com



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My husband just got deployed for his second deployment to Iraq about two weeks ago.

At first he said it would be difficult to write to me because they needed to get settled in and everything. So he called me after they got settled and then the calls stopped coming. Everyone else was so excited because they get a call from their husbands every day and they’ve been skyping on webcam a lot. So, after about 5 days of not hearing from him, I sent him an email asking why he hasn’t called and told him how upset and confused I was. He replied by telling me that he doesn’t want to call because it upsets him to think about me and his family and friends back home. But, I tried to explain to him that isn’t fair to me because I need to hear his voice every once in a while. So, then he said he would try harder to call more. So, three days goes by, and I still haven’t gotten a call. It’s just not like him to do this. We’ve always had a long distance relationship so we know communication is key. But he just keeps telling me he doesn’t want to call because it depresses/upsets him. I’m trying to be strong for him and be supportive, but it gets to a certain point where he needs to understand I’m his wife and I need to hear from him. I just don’t know how to respond to him or how to feel.

This open post was written 2 years, 10 months ago | V/U/S: 590, 3, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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husband, upset, Call, Communication, long distance, relationship, Try Harder, Deployment, Two weeks, Every Day, deployed (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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Sturym offline Verified User (2 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 10 months ago (11 minutes after post)

From someone who’s been there, I can tell you that sometimes it can be very difficult to hear someone’s voice from back home knowing there’s little you can do to actually be with that person. And sometimes seeing them doesn’t help either. Everyone handles it differently, and I’m sure that everything is okay, but perhaps he’s uncomfortable talking to you from there. I know it’s rough not hearing from him very much. As usual, the best I can say is to offer him support and he will come to you when he is comfortable. Try not to be upset, even though I can completely understand why you would be. Be there for him when he needs you. Keep your chin up and focused on other things if possible… find something to help you pass the time. I wish you good luck.

~Sgt Collins

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Anonymous #
2 years, 10 months ago (14 minutes after post)

Thank you so much! I think that is exactly what I needed to hear. It’s just hard for me to tell myself. Thanks for the kind words.

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Sturym offline Verified User (2 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 10 months ago (15 minutes after post)

Of course. I know what it’s like to hope there’s someone out there listening. Even the smallest response can be the biggest life saver.

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