girlfriend help: I have nice things car, house, dog, girlfriend (who has a child that isnt mine but i call my own). - Help.com

You’re just in a rut. They come and go, and you’ll get out of it I’m sure. And I agree, people can be very immature. But don’t let their immaturity get to you. You will find there are plenty of people out there who are more mature and will treat you with respect. Can you hang with your girlfriend and her child? Aren’t they good company for you?

There is a website called meetup.com. You should join some groups with people who you have things in common. It will get you out of the house and meeting new people. I myself am part of 2 groups.

they totally are but i am very involved and passionate about my interests and my girlfriend doesnt share the same passions. we have lots in commmon dont get me wrong. and her daughter is spending her first summer in 3 years with her father 2000 miles away so im sure it will get better once school starts and she gets home. i have been in a lot of ruts but i just cant change peoples minds. i tried going to at&t yesterday to buy 2 blackberries which im sure the salesperson could have gotten a decent commission off and they ignored me so now i have no phone and have to order one online cause they litterally ignored me at the store. its like this little town i live in is out to get me but i cant work anywhere else and support my family

It sounds like you have a problem with being assertive. Be more assertive dude. It’s hard to ignore an assertive person :)

[quote littlenick]Why do you let them throw cigs in your hair?

i dont let them im just saying people litterally throw lit cigarettes in my hair when i walk in the bars here. i cant keep fighting with everyone. especially with a family to worry about. its just people mocking my hair and stuff cause its big and long and i am a boy that wears make up. they just like making fun of me i am an easy target. yet if any one of the camo wearing idiots went to an actual city without corn fields downtown they would realize that they are not the majority anymore

Oren_Emorson wrote:
It sounds like you have a problem with being assertive. Be more assertive dude. It’s hard to ignore an assertive person :)

i may have posted wrong because i am being mis understood i think. i have no problem being assertive. i have been on tour over half of my life and have had to be the center of attention not by choice but because it was my job. i know how people work and i know how to make friends. i just cant be happy and smile when people litterally spit in my face and other such things. it makes me sick and i get so mad that i instantly jump on them and spend the night in jail. i dont have anger issues but when your daily routine is being picked on like a kindergartener on the middle school bus i get mad. how do you change people is my quest and its immpossible so the next question is what to do about it. i may sound ignorant or something but i am not the problem. nobody will give me a chance and its such a small state that everyone my age knows me from my band already. not everyone for real but you know what i mean.

My apologies for misunderstanding. My advice to you then is to carry on and ignore the abuse. You are obviously pretty well known in your area, and people are doing these immature things to get under your skin. And as it seems to me, it’s working pretty well based on what you’ve said. I say to ignore them because, as part of my experience having four younger brothers, I’ve had to learn to ignore their immature behavior over the years because what they want is a reaction, and if I don’t give it to them, they give up and look elsewhere for entertainment. You gotta stop entertaining these people with your reactions. Hope this helps.

Oren_

so after ignoring then what. it still leaves me friendless and lonely and that is where i dont know what to do. i cant ignore it for so long but if someone spit in your face or tripped you or other really immature things when you were with your gf and kid at the mall what would you do? im talking daily. its a real small community and i really cant move. im so stuck feeling i dont know what to do at all. please dont take anything i am saying wrong or anything cause i really appreciate the help!

I’m saying ignore the people who are treating you poorly. Surely you don’t want to be friends with the people who are spitting in your face and tripping you all the time. All I’m saying is if you ignore the negativity and immaturity coming from those who aren’t treating you right, and focus on being a positive, friendly you, then these problems will take care of themselves. It can’t be that everyone in your area treats you this way. You are what you make yourself - I know this is cliche, but it’s true - and if you make yourself a nice, positive person who won’t let some immature morons ruin his life, then others will see that in you and respect you for it.