Find help: i’m tired of compromising myself to make other people happy…i’m - Help.com

Steven Slater probably felt the same way ;)

I seriously think you need to become more self-centred.
You need to do what makes YOU happy for a change — and you can do that without bothering anybody else.

Do what would make you happy. People will respect you for it, and if they don’t…
F*** them.

i went to church as a child and i don’t want to be disrespectful or anything, I was raised a christian, but i still believe in christianity but “church” never worked for me either….that was almost more lonely then any other place i have been………i haven’t been in a while but i still pray and believe in God and that he has a plan…i went to church for years but the real christian friends i met….none of them were from church………..

Using imaginary methods to solve real problems is not a very good idea.
I urge you to choose the path of reason and clear-thinking for your life.

If you’re undecided, find some podcasts, like DebateGod, and listen to a few of the epic debates.
Sam Harris and Dinesh D’Souza are perhaps the best debaters for either side, and their debates together are simply epic.

Anonymous wrote:
i went to church for years but the real christian friends i met….none of them were from church………..

Same. Whenever you get a lot of people together they start worrying about how they look and go into hypocrisy or pride. It’s pretty hard to have an organization as a whole stay uncorrupt.

I think your issue with others is that you greatly dislike those who only seek to help themselves. And so you always do things that couldn’t give others the same impression. Basically, you’re afraid others will accuse you of being selfish (although you aren’t) so you don’t even get what you deserve. You need to get sure of yourself in that you aren’t selfish so that others can’t make you doubt it, and then act as a person who has your own interest as well as others in mind. And don’t listen to people who lie and accuse you of being selfish.

ahhh…… this was not a post about God……

Anonymous wrote:
ahhh…… this was not a post about God……

Aye. So, what do you think of the way I view it. Is it possible you have that as the issue?

payattentionnowpleas wrote:
God is not an “imaginary method” to solving real problems. But I suppose you will know that soon enough.

Don’t get into a God debate with me, here. I leave it to the great god debates to sway the undecided — Dinesh D’Souza can argue points for the existence of God that you probably hardly know about, and he can do it a lot better than, well, practically anybody.

I leave it to Sam Harris and friends to argue my side of it.

If you really want to find the truth about the God question, I highly recommend finding and listening to a few God debates. They’re awesome, for both sides really.

basically my post was pleading for help to stop from getting run over my people in life and these are not the help answers i was seeking

TheEnthusiast wrote:
Don’t get into a God debate with me, here.

You started an argument by seeking to invalidate someone else’s view by calling it an imaginary method. If you really don’t want to start an arugment, then don’t… Or at the least, keep this to shouts and let the post remain focused on only the person and not about responding negatively towards others’ views. You’re just snowballing the digression here.

i’m not really sure, i may be lazy but i try to work hard….i have worked several jobs in the past year but have not been hired full time yet and have resulted in working several part time jobs including pet sitting and babysitting…

some people who are neighbors………….decide to pay me for my work only when i ask them to pay me…….they seem to be too busy to remember …oh yeah…we owe you money………

its irritating when you “assume” or think that people who you consider to be “friends” or even “neighbors” treat you with such disregard……….its pretty sickening and it makes me distrustful of everyone I meet………

although i have had a few good experiences with jobs and being payed after i do the work……..it seems that the majority of people just really don’t care or even think of other people whatsoever…….

DarkSnow wrote:
You started an argument by seeking to invalidate someone else’s view by calling it an imaginary method. If you really don’t want to start an arugment, then don’t… Or at the least, keep this to shouts and let the post remain focused on only the person and not about responding negatively towards others’ views. You’re just snowballing the digression here.

As an atheist, I feel it’s my responsibility to point out that there is another option than to be captured by the internet evangelists. If the religious are allowed to jump in and spread their world views, why can’t I jump in and spread reason and clear-thinking?

gaaah

this is pretty pointless now……….

Anonymous wrote:
basically my post was pleading for help to stop from getting run over my people in life and these are not the help answers i was seeking

Ahh. Well, if you can realize that you aren’t selfish, that would help you be able to stand up to people without others being able to accuse you are selfish. Notice what they are doing that is selfish, and stop them from doing it. The only way you could not be able to stand up to someone is because they would be able to make your view that they are in the wrong ridiculous. You need to be sure of yourself before being sure of yourself before other people. Remove all doubt in your mind that you should stand up to them and that you are justified in doing so, then do it.
As for actual methods, there really isn’t much help I can give on that. Work yourself up to it, relax, and try to distance yourself from negative emotions that could be used against you. Build a mask of calm. Then go while you can, and don’t let yourself back off on it after you are sure it is the right thing to do.