friends help: I need someone to talk too… - Help.com

Hello,

Nothing that anyone says really can make the pain go away. But we must take solace in the fact that time heals. It is a hard time for you with two people moving on but you must try and understand that bad things happen and still life must go on.

I’m really sorry for you loss. Just keep the faith and smile at the memories you’ll have. Those you can keep forever. And be thankful for the time you did have together.

I hope you feel better soon.

Aww hun, Hugs!

It is so easy to make one mistake. I have made several that should have been my undoing. I am sorry about your friend and family. There is nothing to say. I remember when my mother died whenever someone posts about death. You really never get over it. They were a part of you and they are gone.

I’m sorry for your recent losses. Whether expecting death to happen or not, it’s never easy to accept that someone we care about is gone. Only time will ease your grief.

As for your friend who laughed, please don’t judge too harshly. You know, it’s an involuntary response with some people and not deliberate at all. I have a young family member like that. She laughs at all sorts of tragic news. She laughs hysterically at wakes and funerals. She can’t help it. She has to be walked out of situations because she can’t handle them and it’s upsetting to those who are mourning.

Some laugh because they are reminded of their own mortality and that being young is no guarantee that there is a long life ahead. Young people aren’t suppose to die, eh? So the response, while seeming very inappropriate, is actually genuine and inspired by disbelief and a bit of fear.

sorry for your loss, i do agree with what Konkidonk and Dr. Ralph are saying that theres nothing anyone can say to make the pain go away. But you might just want someone to listen to you and your feelings. If you want to talk let me know i would like to help :)

text me mel

Well i will not say S#@! happens..I am always thinking about, if someone Died. Why?? He or She had so much to live for.Now Gone.Forever and Ever .Sometimes i still don’t understand this “Forever”.The meaning is never again, but sometimes i don’t want to except this.Well I’m just a little speck on this Planet here one Day,gone the next in to the Oblivion. With all those Suckers before me.It would be something coming back a 1000 Years from now and seeing what is cooking….

:/ ….

ioh sen na ie’was wrote:
Thanks so much to all of you, I really appreciate your kind and wise words. I would usually comment to every single one but i’m just so overwhelmed right now :/
I just found out my boyfriend also still has a thing for his ex… Everything just keeps piling on. It’s been such a rough summer. thank you all so much though

I’m sorry that it’s pouring for you right now. It won’t last. Get through it the best you can and it will all pass. Shout me anytime if you’d like to talk about things. *hugs*

Compared to a newborn baby who doesn’t make it, your friend lived a full life. Compared to your friend, your Uncle lived a long life. It’s all relative. There is no point in feeling guilty for still being alive. Some might argue that there is no such thing as death and both are still with you in spirit.

It’s something we can think about till eternity but all that thinking will make us insane, simply because there is no answer. And that vagueness is what is unsettling.

*hugs*

jayde hows it goin

ioh sen na ie’was wrote:
Your right Kitten Ciao… I guess I’m still wrapping my head around the whole death thing ya know? It’s mind blowing how someone can be here one day and gone forever the next :(

Yes, it is mind blowing. I do completely understand. With your friend, you had no warning that was about to happen. With your Uncle, you just got the news of his cancer a few weeks ago. Both were so sudden.

I don’t know if there is ever enough notice or if notice makes it better or worse. There is no stopping death even when you know it’s coming and that leaves a helpless feeling. Sudden death leaves a vulnerable feeling.

There are 5 common stages to grief and you can experience more than one at the same time when grieving for more than one at the same time. There is no short cut. I’m glad that you are sharing how you feel.

Death is so final isn’t it? And it leaves a person struggling because you didn’t get to say goodbye, you didn’t get to turn off your feeling ( Not like you would) but death decided for you, took away your right and that is why it feels so personal.

Maybe when you are ready, write a letter to your loved ones you have lossed and read it out loud in a memorial type setting or maybe float it down a river on a bed of leaves, or burn it in a fire place with loved ones around… anything to help you gain closure on this and then once you do you can begin to live your life as a monument to their memory instead of becoming a moseleum to live your life in misery.

Hugs, we’re here for you!

Sorry to hear about your situation. My heart goes out to you. It is very hard to deal with so many things at once, especially when someone isn’t being supportive at all. Just surround yourself with people who care and love you and support you and think of the memories. You can really only go about this in the way that works for you and your the only person who knows how to do that. Just try to stay positive through it all. That’s what helps me.

That is incredibly sad that happened to a friend, but the pain will go away after a time. As for the friend that laughed, some guys can just be insensitive jerks.
My father past away in 2005, my family new that it was going to happen about a year and a half in advance. Cancer as well, the day he finally passed on I was just grateful that I was just with him over the weekend. And he passed on in his sleep a day after I left. It will get better over time, just hang in their.

Truly sad indeed. I am so here for you if you ever need some one to talk to. I have been ware you are maybe a lil deeper. MY boy friend was hit by a car and killed. He and I had gotten in to fight I left upset he got hit walking to talk things out… hurts every year around that time… email me any time i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>

Im sorryabout both ofyour losses, death is something i still havent been able to confront yet..But it is a part of life, that was selfish of your friend to laugh about something so horrible,but he is a guy,no offense,and they arent usually as soft when it comes to things like this as we females are,
just remember, they are in a better place than this cold world

life can be a *****! i’m so sorry that all of this has happened to you! hang in there, and you can always talk to me.

I am so sorry that you are going through so much.I have a very active family history of the females passing from cancer and I am currently taking care of my aunt who is currently diagnosed with cancer. As crazy as it sounds, passing is the easy part. Cancer is a very destructive and torturing disease. I have watched it hurt so many.The 5 times I have experienced it so far have taught me that the end is actually really peaceful for them. They reminisce about their lives, family and the past which was so good for them. My 2nd aunt who passed was soooo at ease, we were actually having Pizza and soda in her hospital room, which she had not been able to have in at least 6 months before her passing. As painful as letting them go is, watching them stay is even harder. Remember good times and the bad, and see that they are now blessed to be where they are, there is no more pain.

I am really sorry about your friend and uncle. Sometimes people are not tuned into what you are feeling. Guys can be insensative. I work in a nursing home and see people with cancer everyday. I know what people go through with their loved ones. Knowing that they are at peace and not suffering is the only consolation for the families. Knowing that your uncle loved youmay help a little.