friends help: My girlfrined wont stop talking to her ex, help! - Help.com



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My girlfrined wont stop talking to her ex, help!

Well first of all ive been with my girlfriend for 7 months now. This is the first time that i actually fall in love with a girl. I am 23 years old and she is 22. ive had two older girlfriends before but never came close to feeling what i feel for her, i am deeply inlove. well when i met her she told me she had about 8 months without being in a relationship. but her past relationship was 4 years long. I was cool about it and we about a month later we became girlfriend and boyfriend. now its been 8 months. And we are pretty happy. but theres a problem. her ex didnt find out that me and her were together till a month later..and well he realizes now what he lost and up to date he has not stop trying to get back with her. At first i knew they were talking to each other and they were just friends. I accepted it and didnt think much of it. But there was this one time when we went to the club with her girlfriends and well she gave me her phone( this was about 2 months and halve when we were togheter). well i went to the bathroom and her phone rigned. it was a text from her ex, i couldnt help but to open it. I know it was wrong but whats done its done. well when i opened it it pulled a conversation that they had. well to my surprise. they were calling each other “babe”. i got so frustrated and angry that i left the club and she came after me i told her what was going on, and well she said that she wasnt cheating on me and i believe her cus she is not that kind of girl. but her excuse was that “it was a habit” of them calling each other babe. i was about to break up with her but i asked her if she could stop talking to him and she said she would. we were ok with each other. but then 3 weeks later i find out that she is talking to him. and we have another fight. i asked her about 3 months into our relationship if she still loved him and she said yes but everyday it was less and less. and she she said that she loves me more and more everyday. i was hurt but waht could i do. i love her. but then after that she kept talking to him..she did stop calling him babe immediatly but still talks to him. she calls him and he calls her. She tells me that they are just friends and before anything they were best friends. And she cares about his life. I honestly hate it. When i found out that she was talking to her ex, i texted her ex that if he didnt stop talking to my girl i would seriously **** him up. all he said was i dont care i love her and i wont stop. well he keeps talking to her up to date and is determined to break us up. TO this day my girlfriend now tells me she loves me and that her feelings for her ex are completly gone but she still keeps talkign to him. well one day i got completly pissed and told her i am not going to deal with this anymore..and she looked at me in the eyes and said that this time she would stop..and that she was sorry about this..well this was about a month ago before she left to spain to study for a year. Yes i just said she left to spain to study for a year.we decided to keep the relationship going because we love each other. She did stop talking to him for like 2 weeks. but then she told me she chated with him through ichat and that she texts him every 5 or 6 days just to keep in touch as friends. i aked her what happend about the promise she made me? well she says it is hard that there is still friendship in between.And honestly i am sick and tired of it. we do talk almost everyday but i hate it when they text or chat..he still loves her..and what bothers me the most is that she is the one who sometimes initiates the conversation. she told me without shame. She tells me she loves me, but i just cant uderstand why would she keep talking to him!? why wont she stop? she says they are only friends…but that guy keeps trying to get with her..please help me! i am stressing, i love her..i tell her that everyday i give her 100% of my love..I call her! give her flowers! surprise her with lovable text messages. poems..And she seems to not appreaciate it. She sometimes doesnt even reply to some of the stuff..she doesnt do the same for me as much as i do it for her. I feel she knows she has me under her feet and she enjoys the attention of two guys all over her..maybe my mistake was to give her 100 percent of my love..maybe i should stop giving her too much attention..but im afraid if i stop she would go with him instead..but honestly i just want to ask her if its me or him? and be done with it..i mean if that guy didnt approach him in that way then maybe i wont be jeallous..but he keeps doing it and doesnt respect the fact that she is in a relationship…every fight that me and my girlfriend have is about her ex..cus she keeps being nice to him and going along with his conversations..she doesnt flirt with him but he does..she just changes the conversation into something else but she still keeps calling him maybe not as often but 2 weeks dont go by before they already talked again. help please what should i do?

This open post was written 2 years, 7 months ago | V/U/S: 999, 5, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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NotYouButMyself offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (7 minutes after post)

I have been in that exact situation. Do NOT stay in it. Make her decide. If you let this keep going on like I did you’ll just keep feeling worse and worse. It is NOT worth it. She already ignores stuff that you do for her, but I guarantee you she NEVER ignores her ex. Am I right?

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stbnavil offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (20 minutes after post)

yea thats right! i notice that on facebook. cus thats the only thing i see when they have a conversation. every time he posts stuff most of the time she replies to it. and she hardly ever replies to my posts. At first i thought its just facebook. but when you see it constantly happening it gets to you. they both call each other “ugly” kinda being sweet with each other..and she thinks i dont notice that. she says she doesnt reply to my stuff cus she talks to me on the phone. And she hardly talks to him. im honestly tired of this. she gave him her spain number and kept it away from me i found out trouhgh someone else. she says dont woryy hes not gonna call he thinks its to expensive. but i mean thats not the point! the point is for her to stop talking to him. How is he gonna get over her if she keeps talking to him. shes giving him hope to be with her in a way.

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NotYouButMyself offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (28 minutes after post)

Exactly. You’ve got to make her decide bro. Even if you lose her, it’s still better than going through that everyday. I did it for over a year before I finally left. And even though my ex told me she didn’t like her ex, we both knew she did. She was lying to me with a straight face and I took it. It’s not worth, it’s like ya said earlier, it’s nothing but stressful, eventually the relationship will be nothing but stress, if it isn’t already.

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stbnavil offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (30 minutes after post)

your right dude. i need to make her decide.. thanks for the advice

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ambient|social offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (40 minutes after post)

i concur with Myself. my friend is exactly the same way; lying and all that. it’s just not worth it.

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