question help: Alcoholics and Panic Attacks.

Wally!

Alcoholics and Panic Attacks.

So here’s my story, my problem, my question, my rant…
My mom is an alcoholic. She has been ever since I can rememember, and has scared many people out of our lives because of it. She has admitted to having a problem, and denied having a problem. She changes day to day…somtimes it gets really bad, and I think of doing something..then she gets better and I say hey, it’s looking up. But she always results to alcohol and one point or another. I really don’t know what to do anymor, I’ve tried and tried and tried to help her….everyone has given up on her, including herself. I can’t go off to college (last of 4 daughters, no husband) and leave her all alone. I don’t know what she is capable of, and that scares me. I know there’s a strong woman somewhere deep deep inside her… I don’t want to lose her.
Suggestions?

Oh and the other part to this post- Tonight it got really bad, and I just about lost it. I have a history of anxiety or “panic attacks” where I freak out and can’t breathe and/or get sick….It doesn’t happen too frequently, but it scares the hell out of me.
Help?

Thak you so much guys- I have nowhere else to turn.

This open post was written 2 years, 6 months ago | V/U/S: 613, 12, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Wally! may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Wally! is a verified member, has been around for 4 years, 9 months and has 40 posts and 411 replies to their name.

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She Changes, Ever since, All Alone, question, results, husband, college, Alcohol, strong, scared (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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Wally! edited this post 2 years, 6 months ago. Read the previous text »

Alcoholics and Panic Attacks.
So here’s my story, my problem, my question, my rant…
My mom is an alcoholic. She has been ever since I can rememember, and has scared many people out of our lives because of it. She has admitted to having a problem, and denied having a problem. She changes day to day…somtimes it gets really bad, and I think of doing something..then she gets better and I say hey, it’s looking up. But she always results to alcohol and one point or another. I really don’t know what to do anymor, I’ve tried and tried and tried to help her….everyone has given up on her, including herself. I can’t go off to college (last of 4 daughters, no husband) and leave her all alone. I don’t know what she is capable of, and that scares me. I know there’s a strong woman somewhere deep deep inside her… I don’t want to lose her.
Suggestions?

Help me with: I was just starting to move on.

☠wUt☠ 26 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 6 months ago (3 minutes after post)

Go to college, you have too.

Help me with: Has anyone ever dealt with “Vascular Dementia”?

Wally! 1 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 6 months ago (4 minutes after post)

I know. I’ll get there, but I have to help her first…it’s my priority

Help me with: I was just starting to move on.

Wally! invited 17 users to read this post 2 years, 6 months ago.

Help me with: I was just starting to move on.

☠wUt☠ 26 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 6 months ago (7 minutes after post)

no its not your priority! you’re having panic attacks because of her you’re too young to be taking care of your mother she should be taking care of you

Help me with: Has anyone ever dealt with “Vascular Dementia”?

Wally! 1 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 6 months ago (8 minutes after post)

I know that but she can’t, she is in no position to help me. If I don’t help her, no one will.

Help me with: I was just starting to move on.

Anonymous #
2 years, 6 months ago (10 minutes after post)

you shouldn’t have to take care of your parents. If she won’t admit to having a problem, there’s nothing you can do. you are too young to have such a burden. Please do what’s best for YOU. it’s a hard decision, but you will regret not going to college (if that’s what you really want to do).

Wally! 1 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 6 months ago (13 minutes after post)

☠DaNi.H.You☠ wrote:
no its not your priority! you’re having panic attacks because of her you’re too young to be taking care of your mother she should be taking care of you

And she doesn’t always ’cause the panic attacks, other things do too…it’s just me

Anonymous wrote:
you shouldn’t have to take care of your parents. If she won’t admit to having a problem, there’s nothing you can do. you are too young to have such a burden. Please do what’s best for YOU. it’s a hard decision, but you will regret not going to college (if that’s what you really want to do).

I know I know I know…. but it would be so selfish, I don’t think she’ll make it on her own. I wouldn’t be able to live with that

Help me with: I was just starting to move on.

Anonymous #
2 years, 6 months ago (31 minutes after post)

It’s not selfish. if she isn’t taking care of herself, get social services involved. They have adult services, too, not just child services. They can help you arrange for care for her.

bobosnickums 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 6 months ago (1 hour, 4 minutes after post)

yes, you can go off to college. she is an adult, the mother, and it is not your job to try and save her, and in fact you cant.
all youre doing by staying is enabling her to continue in her addiction.
if i were you i would look in al-anon, its a subset of alcoholics anonymous that supports family and friends of alcoholics. you may find some really valuable advice there.
but at the end of the day, all you can is live your life. her addiction is her responsibility to take care of, not yours.

Help me with: Hi all,

Nante 3 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 6 months ago (3 hours, 7 minutes after post)

bobosnickums wrote:
yes, you can go off to college. she is an adult, the mother, and it is not your job to try and save her, and in fact you cant.
all youre doing by staying is enabling her to continue in her addiction.
if i were you i would look in al-anon, its a subset of alcoholics anonymous that supports family and friends of alcoholics. you may find some really valuable advice there.
but at the end of the day, all you can is live your life. her addiction is her responsibility to take care of, not yours.

I agree entirely.

Wally the best thing to do is to get your self straight, you can’t take care of her forever, she needs to be able to hold up on her own.

Help me with: I’m weak willed.

Max 45 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 6 months ago (11 hours, 19 minutes after post)

☠DaNi.H.You☠ wrote:
no its not your priority! you’re having panic attacks because of her you’re too young to be taking care of your mother she should be taking care of you

Helping and taking care of yourself is at the top of the list!
Anything else is destructive and enabling her.
Only she can make the change she needs and it may never happen:(

If you don’t let go the disease will harm you both. It’s not her..the her you like is gone….forever:(

The new her is under the care of a professional or someone you have no contact with.

http://www.ola-is.org/

My dear Wally it saddens me to hear you going through this.

I will true you my dear what I know to be “true”.

We must break the cycle!
You have been harmed, damaged and scared.
You will be stronger and better:)

I’ve seen you reach out and help….you are a very giving person.

You are a gorgeous person and deserve all the riches of a healthy life!

Anything less..is a crime. Don’t let any disease steal this from you.

DO NOT listen to the disease and when your mom sees you breaking the cycle..it may motivate her in helping herself.

http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/info2/…

As I said…you can’t fix her, only she can.

You are the youngest and the older ones have been harmed too.

Leave, recognize and live for yourself and future family:)

Help me with: An important reminder and a “Vision” of real strength.

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