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I don’t really want to live anymore

I’m 16 and basically I’m finding it really hard to justify living. I have had this for more than a year and a half now, and any councelling isn’t going to help. I’m not suicidal, as to be honest, I could probably never bring myself up to ending my own life, however I often (especially now) just want my life to stop. Today I just did my English exam. And yet again like the mid-year, I completely stuffed it up. Pretty much failed. I haven’t got my results back but I know I did. I studied for a week, more than most, but I really hate my English teacher because he told us to study the wrong stuff. When I get bad results from something like an end of year exam, I just really don’t find myself wanting to live anymore, because I have high expectations of myself to get into uni to become an aeronautical engineer, but at this rate it isn’t going to happen.

I’ve still got a whole week full of exams, and I really don’t want to do them. Right now, I just want the clock to stop ticking, I don’t want to live any longer. I have had this for a year and a half, and I’m not crazy, not selfish, I just don’t want to go through any more misery that I seem to get every day.

I’m posting on here because I guess I just need to let it out. But there’s no solution to failing life, so doctors, medicine etc is not going to help.

I am going nowhere, I am ruining the expectations of my family, friends and of myself and there is just no reason why I want to live any longer.

This open post was written 2 years, 6 months ago | V/U/S: 754, 4, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Anonymous edited this post 2 years, 6 months ago. Read the previous text »

Hi
I’m 16 and basically I’m finding it really hard to justify living. I have had this for more than a year and a half now, and any councelling isn’t going to help. I’m not suicidal, as to be honest, I could probably never bring myself up to ending my own life, however I often (especially now) just want my life to stop. Today I just did my English exam. And yet again like the mid-year, I completely stuffed it up. Pretty much failed. I studied for a week, more than most, but I really hate my English teacher because he told us to study the wrong stuff. When I get bad results from something like an end of year exam, I just really don’t find myself wanting to live anymore, because I have high expectations of myself to get into uni to become an aeronautical engineer, but at this rate it isn’t going to happen.

I’ve still got a whole week full of exams, and I really don’t want to do them. Right now, I just want the clock to stop ticking, I don’t want to live any longer. I have had this for a year and a half, and I’m not crazy, not selfish, I just don’t want to go through any more misery that I seem to get every day.

I’m posting on here because I guess I just need to let it out. But there’s no solution to failing life, so doctors, medicine etc is not going to help.

I am going nowhere, I am ruining the expectations of my family, friends and of myself and there is just no reason why I want to live any longer.

Anonymous edited this post 2 years, 6 months ago. Read the previous text »

Hi
I’m 16 and basically I’m finding it really hard to justify living. I have had this for more than a year and a half now, and any councelling isn’t going to help. I’m not suicidal, as to be honest, I could probably never bring myself up to ending my own life, however I often (especially now) just want my life to stop. Today I just did my English exam. And yet again like the mid-year, I completely stuffed it up. Pretty much failed. I haven’t got my results back but I know I did. I studied for a week, more than most, but I really hate my English teacher because he told us to study the wrong stuff. When I get bad results from something like an end of year exam, I just really don’t find myself wanting to live anymore, because I have high expectations of myself to get into uni to become an aeronautical engineer, but at this rate it isn’t going to happen.

I’ve still got a whole week full of exams, and I really don’t want to do them. Right now, I just want the clock to stop ticking, I don’t want to live any longer. I have had this for a year and a half, and I’m not crazy, not selfish, I just don’t want to go through any more misery that I seem to get every day.

I’m posting on here because I guess I just need to let it out. But there’s no solution to failing life, so doctors, medicine etc is not going to help.

I am going nowhere, I am ruining the expectations of my family, friends and of myself and there is just no reason why I want to live any longer.

Anonymous edited this post 2 years, 6 months ago. Read the previous text »

I don’t really want to live anymore
I’m 16 and basically I’m finding it really hard to justify living. I have had this for more than a year and a half now, and any councelling isn’t going to help. I’m not suicidal, as to be honest, I could probably never bring myself up to ending my own life, however I often (especially now) just want my life to stop. Today I just did my English exam. And yet again like the mid-year, I completely stuffed it up. Pretty much failed. I haven’t got my results back but I know I did. I studied for a week, more than most, but I really hate my English teacher because he told us to study the wrong stuff. When I get bad results from something like an end of year exam, I just really don’t find myself wanting to live anymore, because I have high expectations of myself to get into uni to become an aeronautical engineer, but at this rate it isn’t going to happen.

I’ve still got a whole week full of exams, and I really don’t want to do them. Right now, I just want the clock to stop ticking, I don’t want to live any longer. I have had this for a year and a half, and I’m not crazy, not selfish, I just don’t want to go through any more misery that I seem to get every day.

I’m posting on here because I guess I just need to let it out. But there’s no solution to failing life, so doctors, medicine etc is not going to help.

I am going nowhere, I am ruining the expectations of my family, friends and of myself and there is just no reason why I want to live any longer.

mischie offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 6 months ago (7 hours, 29 minutes after post)

Wow, i’ve been in that exact situation recently after suffering from depression for a year or so. It’s a vicious circle, one that’s hard to break.
My advice is find something to hold onto. Because as soon as you have hope, you can break the circle. It’s hard, really hard but its always possible. If something is driving you insane or you don’t feel motivated to even move, then just sit for a while and find a way to laugh at it, either sarcastically or wholeheartedly, with a friend or by yourself. I know it feels like your letting everyone else down, but it doesn’t matter (and you’re probably not anyway). My heart goes out to you, because there’s always someone who cares and more than one who can certainly relate. Never test that barrier that is stopping you from ending it, because we’re both young, and though it may not seem like it now, there’s always something to live for and plenty to smile about. :)

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