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What do I do about my OCD boyfriend?

My boyfriend is on- and off-again with Prozac for OCD and refuses to see a therapist. He actually claims to have a good one, but he makes excuses not to see him as of late. He has recently been going through a stressful period with school and has not taken his medicine, so he’s been horribly irritable and stressed–he says that this irritability/anger is the main manifestation of his OCD.

We got into a fight a couple days ago in which he verbally bashed me, calling me melodramatic, selfish, lacking situational awareness, clingy, and he mocked me while I was crying.

Mind you,
-he calls me “melodramatic” for EVERYTHING I react to.
-I was “selfish” at the time for eating half a pizza that was split directly between me and him (as in, I left HALF for him lol).
-I “completely lacked situational awareness” because I could not predict that he was taking the anger he had for his roommate out on me via the pizza thing
-and I was “clingy” because I called him earlier and asked when we could hang out.

Fights like this have occurred several other times but this was by far the worst. He made me leave his house while I was crying–again, he’s done this before, but it was so bad. It was almost like he wanted to see me suffer.

Of course, later that night we (amazingly enough) made up and he apologized for everything, saying that he “didn’t really mean the stuff he said”. Of course, before we were reasonably settled, he literally tried so hard to break up with me, saying how mad he is at himself for hurting me so much, how I will find someone better…etc. The whole night was a nightmare.

Anyway, He HATES being told to take his medicine but I politely suggested that he go back to taking it. It is not that he is bad all the time, I just feel that right now is a good time for him to be on it as he is very stressed with school and money.

The thing is, I am such a patient person, I want to be with him still, but…everyone I speak to doesn’t seem to understand that he cannot help his actions, that he is just using it as an excuse to “be an *******”. I think the only thing he’s doing wrong is not taking his medicine when he is supposed to. I feel that if he takes his medicine, he can function more than fine in a relationship. There is sooo much good that comes from being with him, he is an amazing individual.

Will I be able to make this work, though? I love this man, but am I crazy for putting up with this? What am I to do next?……..I have been away for Thanksgiving break and am giving him his space, thinking maybe his anxiety will lessen…but who knows…

This open post was written 2 years, 6 months ago | V/U/S: 1,143, 3, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Manifestation, relationship, Irritability, Thanksgiving, Individual, Completely, like this, Who Knows, Awareness, Nightmare, OCD, Relationships, boyfriends (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (3)

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BigWilly! offline Verified User (2 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 56 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 6 months ago (34 minutes after post)

Well, him taking his meds is something he CAN help. If he refuses to do so, the responsibility is his. Kinda sounds like you’re setting yourself up to be his care worker. In that case, it’s your decision and what you’re willing to put up with. Sounds like you might (rightfully) be having a few doubts. Sometimes people have to be burned a few times before they stop playing with fire.. others like the pain. ..Willy.

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JeMLea offline Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 6 months ago (41 minutes after post)

This is tough because it is not black and white.

You should decide if his refusal to take his medication and go to the doctor is a deal breaker for you.

I think it is a reasonable thing for a partner to expect. The medication is not only for his sanity, it is also for your sanity.

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iamsoconfusedgirl offline Verified User (2 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 5 months ago (4 days, 20 hours after post)

You know, I have the same problem. Instead of him kicking me out, he just tells me to leave him alone. He wants to end the relationship every time he gets his intrusive thoughts. He used to believe that it was not his OCD, until he read on all the forums and found out that EVERYBODY with ROCD does the same thing as him. But still, he believes that part of him does not want me or love me or even like me.

He just recently tried some CBT, and it was going well. But then again, on a bad day, he just isolates himself and neglects me. I think that is what his compulsion is. He wants to breakup and get a sense of “relief”. Well, to be honest, I never felt that he really loved me, I always wished that he was the person putting his arm over me. I always wished that when I cry, he will actually understand why and not think that he is hurting me and wanting to breakup immediately. Everyday, before I see him, I get so anxious because I don’t know whether he will want me to disappear or wants me to stay. I try very hard to think of it as his OCD. But it just hurts so much to hear things that make me feel hopeless and helpless.

I am so tired. I want to give up. I know how you feel dear. I think I really need to start to accept the fact that he won’t change, even with therapy, he will have OCD forever. If I don’t have the capacity to do so, I will have to leave him. It would be so hard because it means giving up on him because of his condition.

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