This post left anonymously
I think my boyfriend might like another girl.
I wouldn’t normally post something like this on the internet, but I feel as though I need some outside opinions.
My problem is this; I think my boyfriend might like another girl.
Typical sort of thing right? Obviously jealous girlfriend hates this girl for getting more attention than her?
Since I’m going to remain anonymous, I’m also going to replace names.
My boyfriend - 1
The girl - 2
Me - 3
Note: I am friends with this girl, not so much we are best friends, but I do know her quite well. I think she is a very sweet and lovely person.
So before me and 1 were going out, we were really good friends, we spoke to each other via voice chat on skype almost everyday and met up whenever we could. We did this for about a year. And of course, being the good friends we were, 1 started telling me about this girl he really liked and wanted to ask out.
I of course cheered him on, my feelings weren’t anymore than friendship for him at this point. And as his friend I wanted him to be happy.
She turned him down, saying it wasn’t him, but she had only just come out of a relationship and she wasn’t ready for another one.
1 was really sad about this, but I told him comforting words and said there are plenty more fish in the sea. Etc etc.
Around 2 months had past, and I had developed a little crush on 1. I knew nothing would ever happen though.
A few weeks past, and he asked me out. I said yes. This was around the start of February 2010.
He then approached 2 again. She was a little nervous to meet up with him, but he said “It’s ok I’m going out with 3 now”. She was happy for us of course, and they started to talk more and hang out more.
Over the last 10 months we have been dating we’ve been pretty happy. Though there have been moments where 1 will blow me off to go somewhere with 2. In may, 1 said he didn’t have the money to come and see me (He lives about 1 hour away). He then spent the day with 2 and didn’t tell him. I don’t think he did it on purpose though. And I accept they are good friends. But the week after, I came to see him and we spent the day together. He then took me to all the places he went to with 2. Talking about her all day. At the end of the day, I quietly asked if he still had a crush on 2. At first he said “I don’t think I do” before re-thinking and saying “No, we are just friends”. I accepted that, and felt bad for thinking such things.
The last few months have been a bit of a struggle. My boyfriend is constantly talking to 2. I once asked him on skype if we could voice chat, because I needed to talk to him. And he said “Give me 20 minutes, I’m talking with 2 about hotels” (For an event next year we are all going to with a lot of other friends). I respected that and waited…and waited. Two and a half hours later I ask “Are you still chatting with 2?” and he replies “Yah, I’ll be done in a minute”. A further 20 minutes later he is done. He starts talking to me, and I feel slightly upset, but I don’t let it show. He then says “Would it be ok if 2 shares a hotel room with us? (for the event)”. I was a little put off, he had been going on about how it was just me and him sharing a hotel room for this event and now he wants someone in with us. (The hotel isn’t alot either and we can both easily afford it). But of course, I say “Of course she can. I don’t mind”. Because I’m stupid and don’t want to be mean.
I then remember what he had said to me the previous event (October) “Why don’t you share with some of your friends next time?”. So I thought **** it, I will. I’d feel too uncomfortable sharing a room with 1 and 2 anyways since they are good friends and I’ll probably get left out of the conversations a lot.
I tell him a few days later I’m sharing a room with my friend and 2 of her friends instead. He more or less says ok. And that’s it.
He then tells me later how he had to beg 2 to still share a room with him. I love how he desperately wants 2 to share with him. But he doesn’t seen to care too much about me, his girlfriend.
Recently he said to me “It’s really weird, normally I don’t care too much or try not to get involved in people’s problems, but with 2 I really care and want to help her, she is so nice and kind and I just want to make her happy, do you think I should ask her to hang out on sunday?”. I wanted to tell him it was because he likes her. But I just said “Sure, whatever floats your boat”. I’m so stupid. :\
Also recently he doesn’t really want to be alone with me or really talk to me. It’s like he has gotten bored of me. He always wants to go and see his friends when I come over or he wants to have group chats on skype all the time.
The other day he said in a very “I’m hiding something” voice “I’m going Christmas shopping with 2 on sunday”. I sort of understand that one, it’s nice to go christmas shopping with someone. But what I don’t understand is why he seemed so…weird about it.
I’ve been pretending everything is ok, but it’s killing me on the inside. He just hardly pays any attention to me and is always going on about 2, and how they went to the cinema/some shops/did something together.
It’s fine for guys to have female friend’s and vise versa, but when he pays more attention to her then his girlfriend? I really do start to wonder.
I want to ask him again if he likes this girl still, but a part of me thinks he’ll just say “No” again.
I really do hope if he does like her, he’ll tell me so I can break up with him and let them be together. He is a really nice guy, and I’m worried he might feel guilty leaving me. I’d rather them be happy than just me.
Help me? :
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