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Feeling depressed about work
I need help :( I work at a steel fabrication workshop, in the office, as a health and safety officer.
At first I was working just on paperwork and such, then we decided we needed a health and safety officer and a safety manual etc.
Anyway, I used to like my job until they made me the health and safety officer. At first I was enthusiastic, however after finding out that we only wanted the system in place for auditors to give us a “passing grade” to get more work, things went downhill.
My boss hired a consultant to come in and make us a system, however he was not very competent at his job, and wasted alot of our time. Having only just started out, I didn’t really know much about health and safety.
After much messing around we finally got a system in place which no one understood. I was expected to work with this system. I asked for help many times but none was really ever given.
At this point I was extremely demoralized. Coming to work felt like the worst thing in the world. I hated it.
From that point onwards, I have slacked off a lot. The boss says that we can’t do any of the safety steps outlined in the system etc. so I am unsure what I am supposed to do half the time. Normally I just keep doing what I used to do before the system was put in place.
In February we are hiring a new person to do my old job (the one I still do now, due to lack of health and safety work).
Basically these days I procrastinate 80% of the day, doing small things and taking my time doing them, so that I don’t run out of work. The only other things that need doing are jobs that feel extremely unimportant. (filing jobs that never existed before I came there. No one cares about it and it does not really need doing anyway).
The other day my boss said he was going to be having a talk to me on Monday about my job. I’m scared now that I am going to be fired.
What can I do about it? If they don’t fire me, how am I supposed to stop procrastinating when work feels so pointless and tedious?
I can’t quit, because this is my first job. I’ve been working here part time for 2 years, full time for 1 year. I’ve tried applying at other places many, many times however they all say no. I don’t really know what I want to do with my life anyway. I’m 19 years old, I have no qualifications other than a few certificate 1/2/3’s and I am extremely shy. No one wants to hire me because I don’t have enough recommendations etc.
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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