happiness help: So what’s to say? - Help.com

somebody said forget the past is betrayal. so remember your friend zac in the bottom of ur heart. Move on. ps, i also knew a guy named zack.

This is so very sad Steve and I feel for your situation. Is this young man with you in the picture?

My apologies, sometimes its hard to tell with kids and ages, some look older than they really are. You are a young looking hansom guy, I might say.

I think it would be nice to honor Zac on Feb 10 each year by doing something positive. Perhaps think of a way you can bring awareness to depression via an organization. We have one in Australia called Beyond Blue. Have you considered this?

Another thing I think that is important to say here is, in NO WAY should you take responsibility for this. You must not!
He sounds like a brother/mate that you had. A close bond.
No one can replace that and no one should try, so we must take each new person just for who they are and try to never compare.

You obviously have carried a great deal of guilt in your heart. Guilt that likely is not yours to own. But you do so nonetheless to engage in endless self-punishment over your many speculations of all the “if only’s” and “what if’s” that you can imagine to try to make sense of a very horible and painful loss you still suffer.

Tust me, I know, as I’ve been there.

But the reality is we need to allow ourselves to heal for in healing we honor those we love who have passed away.

I agree with Little Goddess. Every year remember Zack in some way as to honor his memory. Visit his grave and bring flowers and leave a note for him. Tell him how much you miss him and so on. This helps, relieve the side of you that is always thinking “there must have been something I could have done to stop him!”

It’s been my experience that when a person is destine on finishing his/her life that no one can trully stop them. That the ones that were caught in the mist of a suicide attempt wanted to be caught.

You should in no way blame yourself.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Whatever could be said, you’ve done so quite eloquently.

I know how you feel. I’ve been there. Your name is not God or Fate or Zack. You didn’t pull the trigger. There is no room for could have/should have/what if. Things are as they are. How many moments could you be there to stop him? He chose the time to end it. He found his peace. I’m sure he wouldn’t want your peace of mind to be disturbed forever for the decision he made. He’s free. Now free yourself from this.

I dont know if this is going to make it easier for you but let me share with you what I have started believing about life and death. As souls I believe we never die. We shift from one body, one life to another in our path of learning. While in one body we forget most the past, most of ourselves, but our past remains in the form of our likings, our phobias, things that make us uncomfortable etc. While in a body we get attached to it and also get attached to people around us in strong bonds which make us feel like you feel at the loss of a loved one. But we select the life we want to live, the major events, the main theme of learning in that life before birth. Whatever happens in our lives, even if it seems to be directly related to someone’s doings or misdoings, no one is actually responsible for them except ourselves. Life on earth is just a learning game for the souls beyond and we are all related in a way much greater than we can imagine.
This idea may seem strange and absurd to the point of being unacceptable to you,I cant prove it or know for sure whether its true, but it has made it easier for me to accept death or even just any negative circumstance.
Dont make your friend’s memory heavy for you, cherish his memory and do good things in his memory, will make his 13 years of life more fruitful.

I’m sorry to hear about your friend:(
Time helps and try and keep around friends and family.
You’ve had some good times that you will automatically remember form time to time, but that piece will always be missing and he was fortunate to have such a caring friend like you.
It was an illness that took your friend and illness’s take wonderful people everyday.
We push through to be good friends to others and life rewards us with new friends:)

Maybe just keep yourself busy for a little while with healthy habits and it will change:)

nab wrote:
I dont know if this is going to make it easier for you but let me share with you what I have started believing about life and death. As souls I believe we never die. We shift from one body, one life to another in our path of learning. While in one body we forget most the past, most of ourselves, but our past remains in the form of our likings, our phobias, things that make us uncomfortable etc. While in a body we get attached to it and also get attached to people around us in strong bonds which make us feel like you feel at the loss of a loved one. But we select the life we want to live, the major events, the main theme of learning in that life before birth. Whatever happens in our lives, even if it seems to be directly related to someone’s doings or misdoings, no one is actually responsible for them except ourselves. Life on earth is just a learning game for the souls beyond and we are all related in a way much greater than we can imagine.
This idea may seem strange and absurd to the point of being unacceptable to you,I cant prove it or know for sure whether its true, but it has made it easier for me to accept death or even just any negative circumstance.
Dont make your friend’s memory heavy for you, cherish his memory and do good things in his memory, will make his 13 years of life more fruitful.

I agree but, I also wanted to add that I believe our souls to be pure energy and energy never dies.