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I have a problem.

I am seeing this guy. I met him in a nightclub. We danced together and it was fun and.. we ended up going home together.
I don’t usually do this kind of thing, I spit up with my ex boyfriend a year ago and have been so cut up about it I haven’t even been out with anyone for a year- since we broke up. And this well just kind of happened.
Well he phoned me and wanted to see me again and we have been out on about two or three dates since.
He’s been very full on, he texts me quite a lot and phones and has said he loves me. He’s also has bought me lots of gifts everytime we keep meeting up and is generally quite sweet.
I wasn’t sure what I wanted the day after we went home together but just thought I’d see how it went. Thing is although he is a nice guy and I have enjoyed the time we’ve spent together I don’t think I want a future with him.
On some of the dates I’ve felt he is just going out with me because he knows at the end of it he will get laid! Several times I feel like he doesn’t listen to what I have to say.. he is Indian and I think his english is not all that great.. but I’m not sure if it’s that or he just has no interest in me besides sleeping with me!
He says his english is not that good.
Anyway I feel like we have some kind of friendship going on maybe. But the last two times I am beginning to find him less attractive. He has a really annoying way of kissing and last time we were together I just thought thats it I’m just not going to see him again!
But he keeps calling me and I don’t really want to just ignore his calls which is what I have been doing! Because I do like him and I think he actually likes me.. well he keeps telling me he loves me anyway. And for a moment I thought maybe I could maybe love him too. But I don’t know..
Well anyway I have had my heart set on moving away from where I live for a long time now as I want to move to London and be closer to my friends, I haven’t told him this.
What should I do? Any advice would be appreciated?..

This open post was written 2 years, 3 months ago | V/U/S: 366, 5, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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friendship, going home, Nightclub, boyfriend, beginning, All That, Interest, Calling, english, Meeting, Relationships, Love, honesty (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (5)

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Anonymous edited this post 2 years, 3 months ago. Read the previous text »

I have a problem.
I am seeing this guy. I met him in a nightclub. We danced together and it was fun and.. we ended up going home together.
I don’t usually do this kind of thing, I spit up with my ex boyfriend a year ago and have been so cut up about it I haven’t even been out with anyone for a year- since we broke up. And this well just kind of happened.
Well he phoned me and wanted to see me again and we have been out on about two or three dates since.
He’s been very full on, he texts me quite a lot and phones and has said he loves me. He’s also has bought me lots of gifts everytime we keep meeting up and is generally quite sweet.
I wasn’t sure what I wanted the day after we went home together but just thought I’d see how it went. Thing is although he is a nice guy and I have enjoyed the time we’ve spent together I don’t think I want a future with him.
On some of the dates I’ve felt he is just going out with me because he knows at the end of it he will get laid! Several times I feel like he doesn’t listen to what I have to say.. he is Indian and I think his english is not all that great.. but I’m not sure if it’s that or he just has no interest in me besides sex!
He says his english is not that good.
Anyway I feel like we have some kind of friendship going on maybe. But the last two times I am beginning to find him less attractive. He has a really annoying way of kissing and last time we were together I just thought thats it I’m just not going to see him again!
But he keeps calling me and I don’t really want to just ignore his calls which is what I have been doing! Because I do like him and I think he actually likes me.. well he keeps telling me he loves me anyway. And for a moment I thought maybe I could maybe love him too. But I don’t know..
Well anyway I have had my heart set on moving away from where I live for a long time now as I want to move to London and be closer to my friends, I haven’t told him this.
What should I do? Any advice would be appreciated?..

Anonymous edited this post 2 years, 3 months ago. Read the previous text »

I have a problem.
I am seeing this guy. I met him in a nightclub. We danced together and it was fun and.. we ended up going home together.
I don’t usually do this kind of thing, I spit up with my ex boyfriend a year ago and have been so cut up about it I haven’t even been out with anyone for a year- since we broke up. And this well just kind of happened.
Well he phoned me and wanted to see me again and we have been out on about two or three dates since.
He’s been very full on, he texts me quite a lot and phones and has said he loves me. He’s also has bought me lots of gifts everytime we keep meeting up and is generally quite sweet.
I wasn’t sure what I wanted the day after we went home together but just thought I’d see how it went. Thing is although he is a nice guy and I have enjoyed the time we’ve spent together I don’t think I want a future with him.
On some of the dates I’ve felt he is just going out with me because he knows at the end of it he will get laid! Several times I feel like he doesn’t listen to what I have to say.. he is Indian and I think his english is not all that great.. but I’m not sure if it’s that or he just has no interest in me besides sex!
He says his english is not that good.
Anyway I feel like we have some kind of friendship going on maybe. But the last two times I am beginning to find him less attractive. He has a really annoying way of kissing and last time we were together I just thought thats it I’m just not going to see him again!
But he keeps calling me and I don’t really want to just ignore his calls which is what I have been doing! Because I do like him and I think he actually likes me.. well he keeps telling me he loves me anyway. And for a moment I thought maybe I could maybe love him too. But I don’t know..
Well anyway I have had my heart set on moving away from where I live for a long time now as I want to move to London and be closer to my friends, I haven’t told him this.
What should I do? Any advice would be appreciated?..

Anonymous #
2 years, 3 months ago (29 minutes after post)

Ok so there is no answer! :/

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Aries offline Verified User (4 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 3 months ago (2 hours, 1 minute after post)

Well anyway I have had my heart set on moving away from where I live for a long time now as I want to move to London and be closer to my friends, I haven’t told him this.

And right there is a nice way of breaking it off with him. Tell him about your plans to move to London. Here are things you can say to him:

- that in light of your upcoming move to London, you really don’t want to enter into a “real” relationship with anyone at the moment …

- you like him as a person and you’ve enjoyed your time together, but you’re just not ready for a committed relationship …

- you’re really not cut out for him; you’d rather that you and he stop seeing each other so that he can find his special someone.

Now, all / any of the above will work just fine … IF you *really* want to break it off with this guy. I can’t help but sense a little bit of ambivalence on your part when I read:

… I don’t think I want a future with him.

…Because I do like him and I think he actually likes me.. well he keeps telling me he loves me anyway. And for a moment I thought maybe I could maybe love him too. But I don’t know…

Frankly, I’m not sure you’ve even worked out in your head whether or not you *really* want to end things with this guy.

Yet, it doesn’t sound like you’re head over heels in love with him, either.

Is it that you just want to be friends with him? - OR - You’d like to hang on to him until something better comes around?

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Anonymous #
2 years, 3 months ago (18 hours, 40 minutes after post)

Thanks for replying Aries.
I think the thing is I don’t have many friends in my hometown because they all moved away after university and are mostly in London now.. which is why I want to go there! I’ve enjoyed spending time with this guy.. he’s quite sweet and he gives me someone to go out and do stuff with. But I just can’t see myself settling down with him.. partly because I want to move away and for many other reasons such as what I’ve already said above.
I guess its nice to have someone to hang out with and get some affection/attention I’m lacking in my life. I feel quite close to him.. but I can’t help thinking there’s someone better out there for me.. someone I can have good long conversations with. I feel we’ve rushed into things.
Perhaps I do just want to hang on to him until someone better comes along, I know this isn’t fair if he wants more than that.

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