Love help: How can i STAY angry at people ? - Help.com

I can understand what you are asking–sometimes people do mean or hurtful things and it doesn’t feel very good when a day or two goes by and you haven’t gotten any feedback that lets you know that they are sorry for what they’ve done–they just get away with it because you aren’t holding it against them!

However, being angry and bitter doesn’t affect them any! It just makes you miserable–I wouldn’t try to stay angry at your friends for long.

I would suggest being more vocal, though. It’s not easy to say enough is enough (especially when you are in a group) but it will help people to realize that you are not an “it” than can be taken advantage of, but a real person with feelings. After all, they might think that you are Superwoman with a really thick skin that nothing ever bothers, so they can say or do anything they want.

Make sense?

Forgive me, but YOU are apologizing when somebody hurts you?

It’s a tremendous virtue to be able to forgive someone, but forgiveness comes AFTER an apology.

Try standing up on your chair at the next mealtime and yelling “I am Crazy Girl! I demand respect!” (You might want to use your real name, though.)

im always a pushover and like my “friends” know that. and once they were proper wrong to me and were like “we dont need 2 apologise” and i caved in. i NEED to make sure that that doesnt happen again.

and also they walked off i think i heard “we’re too good to receive an apology” and i was like WTF?????? yh so i need help with this too because i always cave in

yeah thats cool. um…i have no idea…

This sounds hard to do, but try changing your personality a little bit depending on who you are hanging out with. Some people like to lead, and some like to follow. Nothing wrong with either one, but when a follower is with a group of leaders, the follower gets treated like dirt, and they never get to do what they want to do.

Be true to who you are, but don’t be afraid to battle the leaders on their own turf. Either of two things will happen–they’ll respect you more, or they’ll decide that you aren’t a pushover anymore and go find someone else to pick on. Either way, you win!

You know what? If you can do it with your family (who know the real you) you can do it with anyone–and it’s a great skill to have!

im WAYY a follower, except with my closest friends, were all kinda like neither. i want to actually cut these people that treat me like dirt out of my life, but they are both in my year, in my school, and one in my tutor group. =( i argue with my family but its easier to not apologise to them because they dont really care, unless my mum goes and becomes immature, in which case i dont care.

If the only people in the world were leaders nothing would ever get done (and if it did, it would be bad quality work). However, even if you never aspire to be a dynamic leader, you have to at least learn to lead yourself. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up for trouble. What are you going to do when the “in” crowd decides that they like setting themselves on fire?

oh. OMG! one of those “friends” has come online. i blocked her. but if she realises what do i do??!?!?!!??!??!?! i mean like i have to see her at school on not this monday but next, and also she is a bit detective-like with this sort of thing

Next time you see her punch her in the nose…

I hate to run, but I’ve got some errands to run before my wife gets home.

I’ll check on this thread in a little while!

Good luck, both of you!

i have the weakest punch in the world. and she is strong. she managed to completely beat up her ex-bf that is 2 years older. so basically that would get me mega beaten up. thanks. (for the good luck)

because i didnt want to talk to her. i dont like her. because of that sort of stuff.

yeah good luck to you too. my friend (a real friend) says that “i am too nice and that is why people are like that to me” but if im more horrible i will hate myself even more. (omg i sound like eugh eugh. just telling the truth)

wait i just need to take 5 mins to clear my mind like bad things coming back

ok that was quicker than normal. yeah i feel guilty like all the time for some reason as if i dunno. as if i had a past life and i was like some evil dude, and then now ive been brought up to feel guilty when ive done wrong, but yeah you get what i mean right?

ok this is gonna sound really eugh but sometimes i feel a tiny bit like i should apologize for existing. yeah sure

and you are helping by the way

only a little bit, and only occasionally

Crazy girl, family is almost everything , or at least a great thing . but it’s not right to apologize when someone else is wrong .it’s even bad for them . you have to take a stand like gimli said. i was exactly like that , but it’s just not right . so now when something happens between me and someone of my family i don’t get angry but i just make it clear that he’s wrong and he’s the one that should apologize to me.

cya crazy girl ;) wow you are right mr hide. in most cases. except when i do that it just increases my chances of caving in for some reason :S

schwourne , you don’t need friends that make you feel bad . i know it might not be easy but you have to find new friends , because even if you don’t cave these ones are used that you cave .

i think i get you…i do have other friends its just these “friends” make me feel bad because whenever they are wrong to me none of my real friends are around.

you shouldn’t get angry at someone you don’t know well. realize instead that these people who are disrespecting you have their own problems and are just being stupid. it is not personal. but in the future i can give this advice - when someone does something rude be very assertive to them and ask why they did that and tell them it was rude.

when it is your family that is being rude or mean, i can only suggest to get out of there, because apologizing then fighting then apologizing is crazy and instead just find somewhere else to move to asap