marriage help: Hey, I’m not one normally for vocalising my problems, but now I’m at a cross roads and dn’t have any idea what to do. - Help.com



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Hey, I’m not one normally for vocalising my problems, but now I’m at a cross roads and dn’t have any idea what to do.

Mmy dilema is that I have been married for 7years. It was an arranged marriaege. I have slept with him about 4times. He has since got his visa and now basically he wants me to either start sleeping with him or he will divorce me. For one there is no chemistry between us, nor do I find him physically attractive. I imagined marriage as a fairy tale. Mine has bewen anything but. My husband is a hard working, devoted individual. He has never forced himslef on me, he doesn’t smoke, drink, gamble etc. So what is my problem. Please share your advice. I am dsperate.

This open post was written 2 years, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 752, 2, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Kinship offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 1 month ago (11 minutes after post)

I am speaking from the perspective of my views, but…I really do not think arranged marriages always work in the context of modern life [Even if they work for isolated cases]. You seem to say it yourself, strongly and respectfully, that you do not identify with him or with being with him. You cannot live forever dissatisfied with your marriage, and I really don’t think you should… What are your options? I’m not sure where you live or if you have a profession of your own. But you need to have communication and connection in a relationship. If you do not feel there are any avenues for opening communication about how you feel about the marriage, I would say you should not be together. For either person’s sake.

All the best, I hope you figure out where you will be going at the crossroads.

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Slaptastic offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 1 month ago (1 hour, 1 minute after post)

Is it that you dont find him physically attractive? Maybe you should get him a makeover of your choice? Or is he past it .. :S ?

Arranged marriages do work sometimes but only if you have an idea of what the person is like .. and find them vaguely attractive…

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