Love help: My wife left me about a year and a half ago.. - Help.com

You chastised yourself from your addiction to painkillers and now you need to do the same with the addiction to this woman.

Regardless of how good things may have been, it didn’t work out and leaving you alone with sadness and memories was her lot.

Realize this for what it is. A pill may take the pain away but you realized the negative effects it was having on you. You have a psychological addiction to this woman and need to do the same thing with her. She made you feel good at first but look at how you are living and feeling now.

It won’t be easy, these things never are. But for you to live again, it must be.

How long were you married? If you were addicted to pills for a long time I can see how she would get tired of trying to be in a relationship with someone who is an addict. But to leave everyone. I think she might have a problem or something to hide.

the pills were something i’d had prescribed from when I broke my neck.. I basically went back to work about 2 weeks after breaking it and kept working through the recovery but didnt really know how addictive these things were until I ran out.

We were married for one of those 7 years. I wish I could get her out of my head but there’s not a remedy on how to do that. Not one that works anyway…

People say embrace being single and enjoy being single….. I dont dig it. it sucks. im not ugly or anything but I just prefer being with someone.

Im sorry you are going through this. Its like mourning a relationship/ a great time of your life. You probably wont feel the same way about another woman ever in your life-but, good news, you will eventually move on. Try to figure out who YOU are, instead of who you WERE, for all those years. Good luck to you, and p.s. its awesome you are off the pain meds!! try to enjoy the simple things in life right now like the sunshine and smell of wet grass and what not, you are plenty young (like me) and you will find your real soulmate! 3 hugs

When my parent’s divorced my mom talked all the time with her sisters and her best friend. You probably need to reach out to someone close to you, and if you don’t have anyone you’re comfortable with maybe make some new friends? My mom told me years later that she would go for long drives listening to ‘break up songs’ and singing really loud while she cried. Maybe you still feel really bad because you haven’t let yourself fully grieve your loss. A divorce is huge and painful and takes a long time, just dive into your pain in the best way possible for you, and if you don’t know what that is yet try many things. Also do you have an activity you enjoy? This could help you a lot.

It sounds like whatever she’s going through is bigger than what y’all had between you. It sounds like it might not even have been directly related to you or your accident. But whyever it is, you need to take care of you. She’s made her decision, and what you can do is continue your life, your path, getting stronger every day. You’ve made incredible steps already, addiction recovery isn’t exactly a party. You haven’t met anyone else like her - well, if y’all were together 7 years, it ended a year and a half ago, and you’re just now going on 26, that probably means… high-school sweethearts? And I’d guess you haven’t been huge in the dating scene since she left. Give yourself a chance. You’ve been through a whole lot (hello, understatement) the last several years. Take some time, focus on yourself, keep your eyes open.

thanks.. yeah it’s been really tough.

Me and my good mates went out heaps last year.. we partied hard for about 8 months straight. I worked to get to the weekend. We’d hit a club or pub 2-3 times a week, plus we were in a band (im a drummer) so we played gigs regularly.
I was went out with a couple of different girls but just ended up calling it quits each time cos they werent what i wanted.

Now, i’m not working, not hanging out with anyone.. I feel stuck in this frikken rut.. I really want to get working again to earn, to meet other people and all that but I sometimes just dont have the energy to apply for work.. I have really great days, and then I have these down days where I get real low. sick of it.

Realization that she was not the one for you and then accepting it in your life are necessary before you can move on.

Once you do and see this addiction to a unhealthy memory for what it is, you can start to make strides towards freedom from the chains of the past. A divorce or long relationship that ends, can trigger feelings similar to that of a death of the same loved one.

Of course, this will be difficult and filled with strife. But you can prevail with the right mindset. Might I suggest perhaps finding a grief counselor to assist you with this. Because that is what you are still facing, a great deal of grief, over the loss of what you used to have.

When your thinking more about the past then the present, then it becomes a burden, and much like an addiction, it can be difficult to change how you act towards it. I do wish you well, sir, and hope you can start down the road to recovery from all of this.

cheers for the responses guys.

So it turns out she might be coming over tomorrow.. what should i say? I mean, i dont think i really want to be with her, shes a cold hearted b****…
thing is i probably still love her, which sucks. I’m thinking that the best thing for me is to just have a chat about things and the way things happened because that’s whats done my head in the most i think - absolutely no communication from her since the day we broke up (shes a robot, i swear).

and then the next step will be finding the hot, awesome, funny chica that needs me like donald trump needs hair.