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I want to give up my goals, but can’t and it drives me crazy
Ok, here it is: I have become obsessed with my financial goals, like making X amount of money in a year, buying an appartment in a couple of years and stuff like that — but not in a good way. I mean, I have created so much pressure on myself, I can barely breathe. I am setting lots of goals that I cannot attain, and when I fail I feel terrible, even though I suspect that the goals weren’t realistic in the first place. Some time ago I was diagnosed with a vascular brain dysfunction, so I know this stess is literally killing me.
It’s not that I love money so much. In my teens I was all about music and art. But I got married very early and it all began from there — I had to work a lot to buy stuff, rent an appartment etc, so I just had to put aside my guitar and painting. Since then for 10+ years I feel completely overloaded, trying to make more money to “buy myself some freedom” — to cover living expenses, buy a place to live and in the end to get some free time to get back to art. I just can’t get this out of my head, I’m completely exhausted, no matter how much money I make it seems like just a microscopic fraction of how much I need, it’s crazy. I have no fun in life — whenever I have a couple of minutes of free time, I just think about new business ideas, study some money-making possibilities, to start something new again just to see that I can’t “get rich fast” and move to another thing.
I want this to stop, but I can’t figure out how in the world do I do that…
This open post was written 2 years ago | V/U/S: 515, 1, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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