relationship help: I am a really confused teenage male. - Help.com

Don’t Panic. This is a difficult subject to really tackle..there is no simple answer. but, my side of it was that I am really attracted to men, could always see myself in a relationship with a male, but sexually, I like females a bit as well.

You’re young, you’re figuring stuff out. Give yourself time to figure things out and process things. And be sure you’re feeling what YOU are feeling, and not what someone else wants you to feel.

I really don’t think there is any need for labels, personally, go with what you feel good about, kid. Be careful, responsible, and guard your heart. Understand that it may take time to understand yourself and your sexuality, and accept YOURSELF for who you are, no matter what that may be. Because it’s all alright. :)

You may need to figure this out on your own with time, the problem with our society is that “gay” and “straight” are strong parts of our identity. Later on, like in Uni, you may take courses about ancient history where you’ll discover that homosexuality used to be an act, not an identification. (So having sex with a man wouldn’t make you gay, it was just a gay activity) Homosexuality was created very recently in history. This to say: don’t worry too much about whether you are ‘gay’ or ’straight’, eventually through life experience you’ll meet someone and fall in love and the answers will come through the experience. This isn’t the kind of thing you can work out rationally. The best thing is that you don’t judge yourself and stay open to the possibilities that this opens for you. If you get an opportunity to experiment sexually be safe about it (condoms etc) and go for it! Good luck!

Hello! First…the good news is you may never have a perfect answer, and there is no need to have one. You act the way that makes you feel good. That’s the most important.

Second…this sort of reminds me of my best friend when we were both about your age. For much of his teen years his silently fantasized about men, but kept it in the dark even to himself. What most turned him on, as you have said, was penises and sexual encounters with men, but he never admitted this out loud so it didn’t become a real idea for a long time. He was very use to the idea of having a heterosexual relationship. How could he not? We’re all taught how to behave in heterosexual relationships from the time we’re born, and it’s suppose to feel good, right? Women being gentle and beautiful for a man, and men being chivalrous and strong for us. It’s easy to know how to fit into those roles. That doesn’t necessarily mean that your feelings for women are only social influence, but it probably a large factor. No one is the same with regard to their sexual preference or the relationships they like to have. Some people have better emotional connections with one gender and sexual connections with the other. I’ve known women who had relationships with women, but slept with men. Or maybe with time you’ll get use to the idea of being with a man in a different way than just physical. I don’t think you should worry about deciding, or figuring out exactly “what you are.” Just explore. I don’t think it’s “just hormones” and yes, you might be gay. Most people are not totally heterosexual or totally homosexual. We’re all on a spectrum. It depends on the individual and the situation. We have the potential to be attracted to many different people in all sorts of way. Don’t limit yourself because you feel that you need to be what others expect you to be. This is such a great time in your life to be learning about yourself and growing.

You’re 16 and the whole issue is confusing anyways. It could be that it’s social influence, as mentioned before, shaping your attraction to women. Do some research. Watch movies about gay people (not porn!), read some books, try to find some information about the gay community and other people’s stories and see if you relate to that or if it really is just sexual.
Because, while a lot of people are conditioned to think that any homosexual attraction makes a person gay, that’s simply not true. Sometimes when you’re young your just curious and turned on by everything, or maybe pulling a David Bowie.
Or maybe your bisexual.
Basically, just research. It could mean experimenting sexually, but it doesn’t necessarily have to. Maybe go to the gay/lesbian section of netflix (or similar) and watch some movies, or the gay/lesbian section of the library and read some books. There’s a ton of resources if you look. And hey, even if you decide you’re not gay, it’s still an enriching experience that might make you more understanding of other people and open to experiencing the world.
I know in high school I felt a lot the same way (but as a girl), but I never thought I actually could. Senior year I met a girl I liked, and it just happened without thinking about it. In college I tried to date a couple guys because I still couldn’t see myself with a girl, but it was awful. When we had sex I would just wait for it to be over and when I kissed them I was so bored. It was a tough decision because I really wanted a boyfriend as a status symbol–someone my parents would approve of, someone I could show off to my friends and make it seem like I had a dream life. I liked, like you said, walking around with boyfriends and going places with them where people could see us because I worried that somehow everyone could sense that I was gay and I wanted the safety of a boyfriend to hide behind. They were like designer sunglasses for image, but with TOO MUCH UPKEEP!
Sexuality is a super wide field and everyone is different. There is no clear answer and you might change at different times in your life. Just because you’re gay/straight/bisexual/other now doesn’t mean you’ll be the same when you’re 35, or that you won’t still have questions at 35.

the simple label would be your Bisexual.Many people are.
Attraction to both female and male.