transitioning from a serious relationship to friends.
Me and the guy Id been dating for 9 months just broke up. wed been in a very serious relationship and we mean the world to eachother. we want to beacome friends but it just hurts so much right now. Im still completely in love with him. he’s my best friend in the world and i cant loose him as a friend. Any tips on how to transition to beacoming friends after that? I know itll be hard but im willing to do anything to be his friend. I dont know how id keep going if I didnt have him in my life. please help.
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Try very hard to develop a crush on someone. I know it sounds very crazy but try. Try as if your sanity depended upon it. “.”
oh sweetheart, i don’t think you should be friends. your best bet is to get closure (understand exactly why it happened) and to never speak again.
no. I will not do that. He means more to me as a friend then as a lover and I will do whatever it takes for us to keep that. Weve always said that we are friends first and thats how its going to be
Good people are rare. Friends shouldn’t be thrown away. Guard them like the diamonds, emeralds, and rubies that they are. (each unique, valuable, I liked that metaphor)
Note that when I suggested a “crush” I did not mean to try to find a new guy. I’m speakin flat out mr personality, that charms all the girls, that you really can just have fun with, he may never need to know.
I’m so serious about this. It works.
so, Cell, what do you suggest? Her torture herself and lose one of Gods most delicious gifts, a friend?
Or have herself a good flirt and see that she is still alive.
Broken a bit. kind of in pain. but alive.
I’m thinking from one point only. Do not lose this friend. priority one.
okay none of this is helpful. it will work for us trust me. were very good friends and the way we broke up was very nicely done no hard feelings and we are very commited to being friends for a long long time he is very important to me. So if anyone has any advice not just telling me this wont work then please go ahead and comment.
friendship is not always the best option. friendships are important, but not so important that someone should consider it a top priority. what you’re suggesting could be really bad for her sanity.
Faith: actually what YOUR suggesting would be bad for my sanity. I dont think you get it. I WILL be his friend the question is how to transition smothly k? I need him in my life not in a desperate girlfriend way but in a ‘your my best friend and I can trust you with anything way’
while i was writing, you wrote a few things too. i have no more to say because i will never tell you what you want to hear.
I don’t see that working. I mean..if you really want to try salvaging some sort of friendship..it would have to be attempted after months, or even a year or so, of complete separation. and even then, it may not even work.
it doesn’t sound like you have a lot of experience in these matters, so i suggest you listen to what the people here have to say on the subject.
You are only opening yourself up to more pain. There IS NO SMOOTH WAY!
i was in the EXACT same position you are in a year ago. i tell you nao, it won’t be easy AT ALL to get outta there, but you will man. Me, i started using alot more drugs and selling to alot more people and became even more of a social butterfly, and eventually i ran across some people i really loved and still do, they’re like my soul brothers lol may seem crazy but i actually fell in love with one of em, who’s nao my boyfriend, and he totally knows my ex, isn’t that strange? your best bet is to fall out of love and i know it’s near impossible, i still love my ex a bit, but just let the wound heal and give it time and when you can talk to him without talking about being in love with him still or anything, that’s when you’ll be ready lol a friend once told me time heals all wounds and i told her to get the **** out of my house. she’s now my best friend and dates my boyfriends best friend. life is crazy. but yeah, time heals all wounds lol it’s a thing man, a very hard thing to get through.
Keep in touch with him from a distance only for a while until you both have had time to heal the wounds of the breakup. Maybe send each other an email once a week, or every day if you must. Talk on the phone only occasionally for now, and keep the conversations light and short. Don’t talk about how much you miss each other, or wishing you were back together. Stuff like that makes friendship impossible.
After a while, it will be easier and you can try hanging out like normal friends, but it will always hurt to be separated from the one you love.
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