hurt help: I guess this is more of an opion poll or rather I just don’t know how to handle what I am about to post. - Help.com

chickadee
offline Verified (5 years, 3 months) Visit chickadee's shoutbox
Lebanon, TN, US

I guess this is more of an opion poll or rather I just don’t know how to handle what I am about to post.

My son recently got married on a friday night, my sisters son graduated on the thursday before. When I found out that he was graduating the day before the wedding I spoke with the bride to change rehearsal dinner which was changed to the Wednesday before. My sister immediately starts asking if my son would be at her son’s graduation. I told her i did not know because they would have to sit up for the wedding and also pack for their honeymoon plus my son had to work til 5 or 6 the Thursday before the wedding. As it turned out my mom and dad called my son begging him to come to graduation which hurt my son since his big day was also coming up. To finish up my son did not get through in time for graduation and wouldn/t have finished if my other son had not came after graduation to help finish siting up tables and what not. To boot it all my sister only came to wedding and did not stay for reception. She also sent a text to my son on his wedding day saying “i am happy for your wedding but my feelings are hurt because you did not come to graduation” I have since spoken with my father and told him he should not have called my son. he says he didn’t want a rift in the family, I said dad I think yall have created one….. I am hurt and disappointed in my parents and sister. What is your thoughts on this….feel free to as questions.?

This open post was written 1 year, 11 months ago | V/U/S: 786, 5, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post chickadee may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. chickadee is a verified member, has been around for 5 years, 3 months and has 21 posts and 146 replies to their name.

Post Tags (12)

graduation, wedding, hurt, son, Rehearsal dinner, Rehearsal, questions, honeymoon, Wednesday, Thursday, Bride, Groom (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (5)

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Just Gin offline Verified User (2 years) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 11 months ago (23 minutes after post)

I don’t get that at all. It’s not like anyone deliberately ignored the radiation, there just happened to be two important events happening during the same time. He couldn’t be at the graduation because he was preparing for his wedding. Seems understandable enough. In my opinion, your sister and your parents are way out of line. Obviously they don’t think so, so probably no matter how you try to explain your view to them they’re not going to get it unfortunately. Sorry that happened, but best wishes to your son in his marriage!

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chickadee offline Verified User (5 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
Lebanon, TN, US | 1 year, 11 months ago (47 minutes after post)

Thanks Gin,
I have really had a hard time with this and yes it seems no matter what I say they think they are right…… I am very close to my family but truly this is really putting a strain on our relationship. I am trying to just forgive and forget but it keeps coming back up. I have not said anything else to them regarding the events I have spoken about and have tried not to let them know how hurt I really am. Both of my parents have many medical problems and I don’t want to hurt them at all. I also can not amd will not let them be hurtful to my son. My husband is very upset about the whole thing but has said he will stay out of it for now. He sometimes can be a half empty glass type of person. I feel like we should just let sleeping dogs lie.

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chickadee invited 4 users to read this post 1 year, 11 months ago.

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Just Gin offline Verified User (2 years) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 11 months ago (57 minutes after post)

In my experience, if there’s no definitive way to resolve a conflict, sometimes it is best to simply not engage. It can be painful though, especially with family.

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Mrs. Hasta Pianoman offline Verified User (5 years, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 11 months ago (12 hours, 28 minutes after post)

Well the whole thing sounds ridiculous to me. It shouldn’t cause a rift in the family for one person to miss a graduation because he’s getting ready for his wedding the next day!

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