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I feel lost.
I don’t usually ask for advice, but I fail to see my current situation objectively. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 and a half years. Recently we had a big fight and he told me he is done trying because he obviously cannot make me happy, basically he told me that he planned a day for the two of us, then one of his friends showed up and he decided that we were going to another one of his coworkers party ( which he asked me days ago if I wanted to go to and I said no, I have pretty bad anxiety and don’t do well with lg crowds). He had picked me up so I didn’t have my car, so I texted a friend and asked them to come pick me up, my bf said he’d drive me home instead. He sped all the way to my house with his music blasting. When we got there I said thank you and without responding he nailed the gas an left. When we finally talked again, much later he told me he was sick of trying to make me happy and its all my fault whatever happens next because I overreacted. He constantly blames me for everything and makes me feel guilty for how I feel. I lost most of my friends long ago because he said they took up too much of my time. He told me during one fight that I was worthless, Noone loved me and that I was friendless and pathetic. We go through” almost breaking up” cycles about once a year, and then it ends with me apologizing and feeling guilty. Im afraid to lose him, I do have my family and a few friends, but feel as if I would be alone without him. I feel as if I should have suffered through the party so he would be happy. He does or says things all the time, calling me rude if I don’t thank him for every single thing, or pathetic for crying when he hurts my feelings. I feel lost, I don’t even know who I am anymore. 3years ago I would never let someone treat me this way, and today I feel like a pile of mush. It probably has something to do with the fact that he insisted that I stop taking my anxiety medication and seeing my therapist about 6 months after we started dating. What do I do? If I leave him now I feel like I’ve wasted so much time, that is if I can leave him, he always finds a way to twist things around. Help!
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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