Feeling help: Are you altruistic? - Help.com

You shouldn’t hate yourself for feeling like that, it’s only human nature and it’s hard not to :) Sometimes, you can’t help but get even a little feeling of wanting recognition or something in return when you’ve helped someone, like if you help someone here you’d like a simple thanks or that someone will help you if you post something and you can’t help get annoyed when sometimes people don’t respond. I think it’s natural. Personally I like knowing when I’ve helped someone and it does give me a good feeling when I get a good response, but that’s not the only reason I don’t think as to why I try to help, I just try to be nice and help where I can if I can because I’d like to think it’s just a way of giving back and being a good person :) But then it does always come back to ‘If I was in that situation, I would appreciate it if someone would help me’ lol, it’s a tough one but I think we must all feel like that even a little :)

I’m definitely not. All my possible antruistic intentions will get choked by my point of view on random selfless good deeds: do NOT do random good deeds (unless it’s just lending a hand and only if it costs nothing) because people get used to it momentarily and start expecting more good from you. If you wouldn’t shower them with good stuff later then you’ll be labelled with a not very good word.
No good deed goes unpunished.

.Eli. wrote:
I’m definitely not. All my possible antruistic intentions will get choked by my point of view on random selfless good deeds: do NOT do random good deeds (unless it’s just lending a hand and only if it costs nothing) because people get used to it momentarily and start expecting more good from you. If you wouldn’t shower them with good stuff later then you’ll be labelled with a not very good word.
No good deed goes unpunished.

That’s true… I feel the same

The term used on this site, “reciprocity” is a useful one to search for references to out there in the wilds of google, because it is used in many sociological/psychological studies.

Absolutely not. I am not altruistic by any definition, and I am glad for the fact.

I understand that this might seem selfish, and it is- I think the flaw is in believing that selfishness is evil. I seek my own joy, and in that pursuit I find the joy of others as well.

If every man took care of himself first, every man would be taken care of. It’s not bad to be selfish… where does this idea come form?

not-m wrote:
Thanks for all the replies, certainly given me a bit to think about!

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely not. I am not altruistic by any definition, and I am glad for the fact.

I understand that this might seem selfish, and it is- I think the flaw is in believing that selfishness is evil. I seek my own joy, and in that pursuit I find the joy of others as well.

If every man took care of himself first, every man would be taken care of. It’s not bad to be selfish… where does this idea come form?

I’d argue against this last part- Humanity thrives upon cooperation and interdependance, if every man took care of himself first, then we’d all be in such great competition that there would inevitably be suffering.
if every man looked out for his fellow man then not only would we have our needs catered for, but we’d have plenty of people there ready to catch us if we fall. (the generic he got quite out of hand there :P)

Dont get me wrong, I am not judging, Just a disagreement with your philosophy.
Selfishness, to an extent, is not evil- I agree, and it has certainly spurred on a lot of human development, but it can be taken too far, I dont even need to give examples of this.

Oh, I agree- this philosophy is not an absolute by any means. I’m just cautious of the word altruism since it’s developed such a positive connotation like it ought to become a common practice. I’ve noticed that as people hail the act of personal-sacrifice, they **** the selfish acts of others. I’m one who wants personal responsibility- it’s a nice feeling knowing that there was something I accomplished, and in that sense it is all mine.

I don’t feel that I owe someone for an act of kindness I did not ask for, but that doesn’t mean I won’t reciprocate. But I regard such exchanges as a novelty- something to appreciate and admire, but not to have as a foundation. First and foremost we must be able to rely on ourselves, and in order for that to be true we must first serve ourselves. Others come second in both regards.

I agree that it can be taken too far. All things in moderation, as they say.

This is only a personal philosophy and opinion though. I won’t say it’s flawless; I’m still working it out for myself. Discussions like these help me to perfect it, so thank you. :)

I think our social networks are the key to our success as a species, and that these are all based on serving others, taking advantage of each individual’s personal selfish needs and desires to achieve that.

Perfect altruism doesn’t exist since people receive at least a few benefits from every action they carry out. But why not? That’s good. Use the rewards to strengthen yourself to be able to do even more helpful things.
It’s also a common human desire to be understood and appreciated. I don’t think that’s something to feel guilty about, wanting to be recognized for your altruism. You’d also want to be recognized for everything else that you are proud of. And rightly so, just keep it from controlling you.