Feeling help: What do you do when you miss a loved one who has passed away? - Help.com

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When a very dear friend of mine killed himself, I wrote him letters about once a month for nearly a year. I wrote them, folded them up, and then burned them and scattered the ashes around. It really helped a lot to be able to cry, scream, tell him I missed him, and generally let my feelings out.

Sorry to hear about the loss of a loved one. For me, I keep memories of her in my heart. Every now and then I will look at the one email I saved from her. Her smile was just contagious. Her life was cut short by her ex.

Though I don’t have any love ones who passed away, if I did I know exactly what i’d do, I would talk to them.

I would occasionally speak to them as if they were still here because they are still here, always here. Even for those who don’t believe in spirits and souls you can still talk to that person as a small piece of who they were that helped move you in life is always there with you.

I keep thing about it life for me is bad and well being sick and having this depression over me don’t help. I’ve tried to commit suicide 5 times this year and
failed. Now no one wants anything to do with me.and all my friends are gone even the person I love don’t want me and the only thing I can think of not is suicide but I know if I do i’ll just be seen as a horrible person. But what do you do when your friend act like you don’t exist and only need you when they want something, when you family acts like your a burden, and when you so sick that the pain makes you cry yourself to sleep, os when the feeling of being alone is so bad that all thing in this world could end and you think it would not matter. i’m not sure if anyone loves me but I keep going because even with out love I want follow my dreams before I die so not sure what i am saying but thats me

Melodys wrote:

Dragon_Lady wrote:
When a very dear friend of mine killed himself, I wrote him letters about once a month for nearly a year. I wrote them, folded them up, and then burned them and scattered the ashes around. It really helped a lot to be able to cry, scream, tell him I missed him, and generally let my feelings out.

Writing a letter just seems to intensify the pain. Does it do that to you too?

At first, it made me more angry. I was essentially just screaming at him on paper. I swear, if he had not been dead, I would have killed him. And it let me deal with that anger without actually damaging any property or doing something stupid.

If it makes the pain worse, then wait a while, and try again later. But do try to think of your friend in the way s/he couldn’t: as a good person who deserved a good life. I think once you get passed the fact they chose to leave, and you just see they reached the end of their lives, it’s easier.

Make no mistake; I still miss my friend, and he’s been gone over 20 years. But it does get easier.

I have lost a family member this way there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about her and it has been almost 46 years that she has been gone and I wish I could have helped her. I didn’t knw her that long but I loves her she was my husband sister we shared a birthday

A good thing to do is honor the feelings of sadness you have by taking good care of yourself. It sounds so simple, but getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, getting exercise, and talking to a trusted friend will all help. I think pushing it down is the worst. You will get through the worst of the pain and then you can focus on the memories you have of the person. But taking care of yourself is the main thing. I lost my Dad recently and did all of the above plus talked with a therapist. There are a lot of good books out there on the topic of grief as well.

I don’t know the reason but what I can tell you is this,

Life goes on, keeping me busy will get me out from loneliness, though probably temporary, I lost my loved one 7 yrs ago, and from time to time I still really miss her till I can’t do anything. Hang out a lot with friends, call your parents if they still alive (mine already passed away). Do sports, do charity work. Keep yourself busy.

If you have the answer, do tell me, but so far, it’s my best answer.

Thankfully it hasn’t happened too often yet to me. However, for the times that it has happened, I didn’t feel an emptiness in my heart on their deaths. They’ve impacted my lives and (dramatically in some cases) changed me. I carry aspects of them in me as they have affected me. “Don’t cry that it’s over, smile that it happened.” - Dr. Seuss.
And I believe I will see them again.

However, I’m quite different from you I’d wager. So my advice would be to talk to people close to you about it and get comfort and encouragement in your difficulties right now. Don’t bottle up emotions but experience them and accept their place in your life right now.

It dosen’t matter how you’ve lost a person - when they’re gone, they do leave a hollow spot inside. If missing them becomes too great, then think about the future and a time, sooner than later, where we will be reunited with all of our loved ones and put all bad memories away - we will only remember the good and make new experiences together.

Best thing is to pray for them. It’s ok to miss them, to cry over them. Just now they with always be with you. They will always love you and never blame yourself for something that wasn’t your fault.

Am so sorry for that, when u miss lover just try to find who u can love again so that the pain u ve can reduce never suicide because as long as u live u get much better life.