boyfriend help: and sometimes i just don’t know where to turn.

WhiteLoomCrows

and sometimes i just don’t know where to turn.

I didn’t used to feel like this, but I do now. I feel like the people who are my best friends- my soul brother, my best friend, my boyfriend- i don’t even know them anymore. Both my boyfriend and best friend smoke up, and while my soul brother doesn’t, he’s a dealer, along with his sister and brother-in-law. And here I am, trying to maintain a straight life, and they’re just… distractions. I hate to admit it, but I’ve come to almost resent them all. Sometimes I hate my boyfriend for showing up at my house stoned, sometimes I hate my best friend for showing me the awesome buds she buys almost daily, sometimes I hate everyone for just… being so blind. And the worst part is, I can’t tell them how frustrating it is. I can’t tell them I don’t want to be around all that ****. Their perpetual rat race. That little niche they can’t get out of. They don’t want to. It’s just too fun. I can’t ******* stand it. I was sitting there at my soul-brother’s house today, and his mom told my boyfriend “well, after you take her (me) home, you can come back and get high with me.” I mean, that offended me so much. She didn’t even refer to me by my name. I feel like I’m failing. I want a better life and I’ve been given a chance for it, but I need to sever ties from them, all of them, no matter how much I love them. And I love them all so much. I don’t want to leave them, but… It’s just too much pressure. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep feeling like I’m failing with each breath. I can’t keep putting off what I need to do all because they want to smoke a bowl and play a video game. It’s so very hard to stay away from, drugs. Alcohol. It’s everywhere. I want to get away, but it’s such a hard choice to make. Either those I love or the things I need to do for a better life. Can’t I have both somehow? If i leave them for five months, till I’m off probation, I guarantee they won’t miss me. Maybe my boyfriend would, but the others wouldn’t. they’d just be too wrapped up in their drugs. What do you guys say? where do i go? Love or obligation? I love them so much but… it’s detrimental to my very mind.

This open post was written 2 years ago | V/U/S: 523, 5, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Reciprocity (0)

Since writing this post WhiteLoomCrows may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. WhiteLoomCrows is a verified member, has been around for 4 years, 3 months and has 125 posts and 417 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

Straight Life, best friend, Video game, obligation, like this, Probation, boyfriend, straight, Rat Race, Pressure (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (5)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen

Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

Cannonball Girl 1 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years ago (4 minutes after post)

do what’s best for YOU. it sounds like you don’t believe that they care that much to do the same for you, so why would you for them? to go with a good ol cliche, love is a two way street, its about give and take. you don’t seem to think these relationships are healthy, or view them as fulfilling so why hang onto them?

don’t let them suck you in if that’s not what you want.

Leave.

if your boyfriend, your friends, etc. are dragging you down instead of building you up, there is a problem.

Help me with: Just a rant about how when it comes right down to it I have no one to blame but myself.

WhiteLoomCrows 3 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years ago (10 minutes after post)

thank you. lol.

Help me with: Just need to vent, yo.

~FlutterBy~ 1 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years ago (15 minutes after post)

You can cut all ties with them and move on. It may hurt for a time but people move on all the time. Change. Grow. Positive change and growth. Any change is scary because we get so use to the way things are. You sound smart and aware that you can have better, so go for it. You won’t be letting them down, they are doing this well enough on their own!
I agree with Cannonball that they are dragging you down instead of building you up. Ex

Help me with: How’s this for a FLASH BACK!

A-Cortex 7 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years ago (25 minutes after post)

When I was a “stoner” it was an interesting faze because for the first time I felt like I had so many friends. I felt like I had finally found the people I belonged with, but then as I grew older and realized that I just wanted a straight life. Those people I thought were my “family” started to disappear. It was like the equivalent of weed I had, was the equivalent of friends I would have. Then when I finally decided to cut ties with my boyfriend, my “friends” and everything because I just wasn’t interested in that life anymore. . .they didn’t even put up a fight. It was like the drug will always come first. There will always be a joint rolled before there is a “Hello” or a kiss. My life has been better than those days and those people.

Like everyone else has suggested. It’s probably better to cut ties with everyone. They are only dragging you down and from the sounds of it. They have chosen the drugs. . .and you have chosen a straight life

Help me with: Considering getting a second job, BUT.

WhiteLoomCrows 3 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years ago (33 minutes after post)

well, it’s not like my boyfriend wouldn’t miss me, i mean when i couldn’t see him for the last week i was on house arrest he was SO happy to see me, so I don’t think he’d want to lose me because the love we have for eachother transcends everyone and everything we’ve ever known, does that make sense? but the others, yeah, they’d just leave me behind. so yeah, I’m gonna talk to him about it tomorro and see if we can’t find some way to live without drugs lol even if i don’t use, he still does, and tasting vodka on his lips when i come to see him in the mornings is not good for my sobriety. maybe i can get him into aa or something, he already knows he’s an alcoholic lol or help him thru stuff… whatever. yeah. lol.

Help me with: Just need to vent, yo.

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.

boyfriend help: and sometimes i just don’t know where to turn. - Help.com

and sometimes i just don’t know where to turn.

Reciprocity (0)

Post Tags (10)

Replies (5)

Invite Others to Help

Help.com Homepage