Feeling help: Some time last week the new foster mom for our youngest three - Help.com

Happilymarried
offline Verified (3 years, 5 months) Visit Happilymarried's shoutbox
An Unknown Location

Some time last week the new foster mom for our youngest

three children called my spouse and while they were talking she told my spouse that my son whispered or whispers i love you too when he’s tucked in. i can’t stop thinking about it because for the last few months before they were taken again i tucked him and his little sister in every night and told them i love them and i know thats why he did it. so i know he’s thinking about me and they won’t let me see or talk to them and its killing me. we lost them once and got them back so i did everything i could to cherrish every min with them because i was afraid it might happen again and it did and i still feel like what we had wasn’t enough, like i could have done more with them. i’ve been flipping out, snapping out in anger, i sleep in until five pm and i just realized its because i miss them so much and when they were taken this time it broke a piece of my sole just like it did the last time. i just didn’t realize it this time because it was different, they had no legal right to take them so i figured we would get them back soon or that its just damaging their case to be so obvious that this is personal to certain case workers but their still gone and they miss me as much as i miss them but they don’t understand and i can’t cope with them feeling abandoned or lost because i’m not there. i’m losing my wits and i’m taking it out on people around me. i don’t realy need any responses i just needed to tell someone so i’m not keeping it all inside and i hurt so badly for them and its affecting everything. i just want so badly to tell them i love them.

This open post was written 1 year, 11 months ago | V/U/S: 768, 7, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post Happilymarried may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Happilymarried is a verified member, has been around for 3 years, 5 months and has 163 posts and 701 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

Replies (7)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

Dr. Jackson offline Verified User (5 years) Long Term User Shouts: 43 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 11 months ago (7 minutes after post)

I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what thats like, not in the least. Though if you don’t mind me asking, what happened to cause them to be taken?

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Dragon_Lady offline Verified User (5 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 11 months ago (10 minutes after post)

You need a lawyer. Don’t let anyone try to convince you that getting a lawyer is a bad idea or will somehow hurt your ‘case’ or will somehow make things worse for you or for the kids.

Hire a lawyer, and tell him EVERYTHING. Do not hold anything back -what you did right, what you did wrong, what you are willing to do to change things.

Hire one first thing Monday.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Happilymarried offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 11 months ago (44 minutes after post)

I have a lawyer, he is my criminal lawyer and offered to handle my civil case for free. i accepted because he has a lot of experience in family law and thats all he did before he became a criminal lawyer. so far he’s done exceedingly well.

Dr. Jackson
I don’t mind. This is all happening because the d.a. believes that i abused our oldest child. the children were taken and i was to have no contact with the oldest until the criminal charges were sorted out and i haven’t. we got them all back and i was to still have no contact with the oldest but there were NO regulations concerning the younger two. what happened is two weeks before my preliminary the d.a. found out that we were expecting another baby which made it obvious that me and my spouse were having contact so i guess he assumed that i was having contact with his witness (my oldest) and since his secretary also known as the victims advocate couldn’t reach my spouse to “prep” as they call it my oldest he hot lined that i was in contact with the oldest, he gave my address as the suspected home and they went to our oldest childs school without notifying anyone which is illegal because the children were in legal and physical care of my spouse. their actual reasons i put in a previous post but they were ridicules by all means. not only were they almost entirely lies but they weren’t good reasons to take the children. its because the d.a. has dragged this case for almost two years because he messed up and he won’t give up on it so he had the children taken again but this time illegal then the cps at fault has been lying to the current county holding the children to make them retain our children at least until i have court and they are certain that my oldest is “prepared”. feel free to ask more if you want, i have put all the information in previous posts but i have so many it would just be easier to ask. i will do my best to keep my opinions out and just use facts. i will say this however, If they truly believe i did the things they accuse me of then why lie and cheat and threaten and abuse us. if i’m guilty why can’t they be just and honest and seek the truth that way? everything they do is aimed towards a conviction not finding the truth, a handful of people were named when these allegations came out but i’m the only one they pursued its clear as day in the police report. they have nothing more than inconsistent statements. that is a fact.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Dr. Jackson offline Verified User (5 years) Long Term User Shouts: 43 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 11 months ago (50 minutes after post)

So your oldest child called in to say you were abusing the younger children? Am I reading that right? So how old is the oldest then?

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Dragon_Lady offline Verified User (5 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 11 months ago (57 minutes after post)

i will say this however, If they truly believe i did the things they accuse me of then why lie and cheat and threaten and abuse us. if

Yeah; I hear ya.

I grew up in foster care. And I belonged there. BUT!!! I belonged there for entirely different reasons than the ones they used to put me there. They told lies on top of lies on top of more lies…when all they needed to do from the start was tell the truth.

I advocate foster care wholeheartedly for those who are abused, neglected, or mistreated. It’s a broken system, but that is better than a broken family. Unfortunately, I know first hand that *most* of the kids in foster care don’t belong there for any reason. They don’t belong there, they don’t want to be there, they don’t know why they are there, and they can’t get the truth out of a single person they know. From the case workers to the judges, everyone tells lies, gets the facts wrong, screws up the works and eventually screws down the very kid they claim they are trying to “fix”.

Keep at it. Just do what you can, and make sure your lawyer stays on top of everything.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Happilymarried offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 11 months ago (2 hours, 56 minutes after post)

Dr. Jackson wrote:
So your oldest child called in to say you were abusing the younger children? Am I reading that right? So how old is the oldest then?

no, actually my oldest was on the bus with some older children and they were always picking on her and being mean to her so she did everything she could to fit in with them because sadly she is a little different so on one particular day they were talking about things they shouldn’t and she said some things she knew nothing about and another little girl told the bus driver after my daughter got off the bus and he hot lined it. they determined that the things she said on the bus weren’t true before they ever came to talk to us and because i had nothing to hide i allowed them to talk to us without a lawyer but they weren’t interested in what we had to say they only wanted to get her alone without anyone but dfs present and they took six months from that day to determine what they were going to accuse me of. what amazes me is that the bus driver happened to be a friend of a old friend of mine and when he found out who i was and who he hot lined he apologized and said if he had known it was me he would have done things differently. its not his fault that they refused to believe it was a mistake brought on by bullying in a horrible school district. two weeks before the hot line i called in a complaint and we didn’t get anywhere so we had enough and we decided to move. they took the kids one week before we moved.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Dr. Jackson offline Verified User (5 years) Long Term User Shouts: 43 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 11 months ago (12 hours, 38 minutes after post)

Sounds to me like a class action lawsuit is needed more than a regular law suit. I truly hope things work out, and its rather disturbing to find out how corrupt that system is, like so many others.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.