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Ive just had a baby , im 30, im still slim but im covered
in stretchmarks :( its making me so sad, my bust, stomack, hips, thighs and the back of my calfs :( i didnt hardly put any weight on i dont get it! im so upset by it, i cant evan take my clothes off infront of my husband and hes getting upset because im that upset by it, il never be able to wear a skirt in summer, id need 3 pair of tights to cover them up. my hubby will say theres nothin up with yer but its blaintent an hes just trying to be nice, im that sad about it its making me regret having my daughter which makes me evan more upset for thinking it. he thinks i have postnatal depression but i havnt, no matter how many pills a doctor shuvs down my throat it wont take these scars away an im gunna be like this forever.
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cocoa butter the lotion. And a similiar product which is the soap works miracles
Im so sorry to hear that..but i’m even more sorry to tell you that there is no way to get rid of them unless you turn to sugery ,but i heard you can reduce them by working out and some creams.
i think you should think of your self as a beautiful mother instead of worrying about that im sure you have a pretty baby too :)
Hey you know what? My wife had five children in six years and I love her just as much as I did when she was 17 and her skin was perfect. Plus she is a very small girl 5′2″ and 100 pounds so it really changed her body. It is a part of life. Your husband is in love with you, stretch marks and all. Call them battle scars, inflicted by your husband. My daughter just had her first child and she is going through the same issue as you, and she is only 22…
I have heard that Bio oil can be very effective in diminishing stretch marks.
For what it’s worth, I was in the same position after my first child was born. I hated how I looked. Then I met a wonderful lady from a nomadic bedouin group, who taught me that each little mark was a testament to the beautiful child I had brought into the world. My stretchmarks were considered “gifts” to be treasured. In fact, some of the ladies were positively jealous of me and disappointed that they hadn’t got any!
It’s a cultural thing. We are so entrenched with the idea that they are ugly and unacceptable in the West. We’re hopelessly silly about it really!
I know that it’s not much comfort to how you feel right now. But in time, I hope you’ll look back and think “know what? those bedouin women are 100% right.. I am beautiful. Every silvery little line of me”.
awww i no u all mean well, an my husband is lovely he says the same, they are marks from making our beautiful baby an u shud be proud! proud i feel like a freak, i didnt know u could have surgery for them , for my stomach i can hide that but the ones all over my legs from top to bottom i cant deal with , them are the ones that make me upset, i have lovely legs an now they are ruined :( i wud concidor surgery on them.
If you husband doesn’t mind, why do you worry about it? Who do you want to find you attractive - your husband or strangers who you walk by in the street? There is more to love than flawless skin, and as you continue living life, it gets “worse”.
I’m 37 and I consider each gray hair, each stretch mark, and each tiny wrinkle a badge of honor for life’s big and little challenges that I’ve surpassed.
The stretch marks fade in time, if you take care of yourself, but they will never entirely go away. It would be more beneficial to focus on things you can have a big influence over, like your health, your relationship with your husband, and your child.
Have you talked to your doctor?
Postnatal depression can seriously affect how we feel about our bodies. It can have us believe things are worse than they really are.. depression and body image disorders are closely linked.
The trouble with post-natal depression is that it is often hidden. We don’t actually KNOW we are suffering from it because we assume that our tiredness, sadness, irratibility is all the “just new parent” thing.
Speak to your doctor. Ask him what he thinks about your stretch marks and if he has any practical suggestions. Tell him exactly how you feel - and make sure he gives you a full check-up. It would be wise to determing whether hormone levels are correctly balanced. (Skin elasticity and depression are both linked to hormonal imbalance)
mariam its not about if othe rpeople find me atractive i love my husband dearly we have been married for 10 years before we had a child! an yeah i dont want to walk down the street an have strangers look at them , it mortifys me the idea of that, i dont have the odd stretch mark here an there…they are all over me, all over my legs from top to bottom an they will be there for life an im kinda strugglin to deal with it…as anybody else in my shoees would! its blazing sunshine, an im sat in my own back garden, on my own with my leggings on because I dont evan want to look at them. its nothing to do with if people find me actractive, its about me…i hate them
I think you would benefit from talking to a counsellor or a psychologist who specialises in body image issues.
They may be able to help you find a way forward in conjunction with your doctor.
Mary, I agree with mumstheword that you should talk with a counselor who specializes in body image issues. I’m sure your husband still loves you and finds you attractive, it seems you are having issues with the stretch marks, not him. You need to come to terms that our bodies change over time. Did you look exactly the same two years ago as you did 20 years ago? You can’t let your insecurity ruin your intimate relationship with your husband. Think of women who have had a mastectomy suffered severe burns - they learn to live with much more dramatic changes than you are experiencing. Not that another’s suffering minimizes yours, just that if others can do it, you can too.
How old is your baby? Stretch marks fade in time. Mine were hardly noticeable even to myself after a couple years, and I didn’t put any sort of cream or anything on them. With treatments that you can get from a doctor or cosmetologist you can have them faded to nearly nothing within a year.
I assure you, strangers are not paying attention. They won’t even notice, so you should wear what you are comfortable in and not worry so much. If you can’t help but worry about what random strangers are thinking, try loose, flowing, cottony skirts and blouses in hot weather to keep cool and keep covered. You will find that wearing loose natural fabrics is even cooler than baring your skin to the hot sun.
shes 4 weeks old , an shes got a sad mum i dont deserve her :( i will go to the doctors , only because its clearly affecting my life, her life an my hubbys . i wont take pills. u say people suffer burns exc, my legs look like ive stuck them in a fire, flames goin all up them, like i said its not one r 2, its lots, very red, very deep, an very wide :
Pregnancy changes your body. It’s one of the things that people should be aware of before they get pregnant (I’m talking about this being one more warning to teens to avoid pregnancy before they are ready)
I do realize you are 30, but your husband loves you; your daughter loves you…and we as people are made up of far more than our outside physical appearance.
There are so many people in this world…all who look different, I’m sure that nobody will really notice a few stretch marks on your legs. There are much more interesting people/things/bodies to look at. I’m not saying that in a negative way, but think about it!
I just heard someone today say that we needn’t worry about how others will perceive our imperfections so much because everyone we meet is so wrapped up in their own possible embarrassments being discovered.
From what I know, much of this will fade in a year or 2 time, so don’t fret. Eat lots of fresh fruit and veggies, especially those with vitamin C to help your body repair. There are all kinds of lotions and creams and oils mentioned on mommy boards. Beyond the kitchen staple of olive oil, maybe one of these?
Focus on the baby and it’s needs for now and take every opportunity to teach it all you can and you won’t focus on your once perfect image of yourself. In time you will be surprised how much of you concern for this and the reality of what remains has disappeared.
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