death help: I lost my dad 3 days ago(26th) from cancer. - Help.com



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I lost my dad 3 days ago(26th) from cancer.

He was 48 years old, and has been fighting it for 2 years. He was not only a father to me, but my best friend too. We did everything together, and we could relate on everything. After I fould out that he had only a couple of days left, I moved back in with my family to spend time with him. I would stay up all night with him, looking over him from 5pm-11am. On the morning he died, he woke up every 10-15 minutes saying “Help me, help me please”. I gave him water, changed his postion in his bed to avoid bed sores, let him know I was there. I did everything I could to try and comfort him, but he still called out for help. I called the nurses in, they gave him morphine, but that still did not help. At around 10:45am that morning, he passed away.

The day I arrived to spend time with my father, 15h of july, he was talkative as usual. We talked, played some games, and just hung out. 5-6 days later, the cancer took his voice, he was not able to talk properly, so it was hard to get him what he needed. I showed him how to communicate with us through sign language, so it would be easier to keep him as comfortable as possible. On the 24th, cancer took his eyes, and that was when it really started to hit me. My dad is slowly dying, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. At the end, he was blind, could hardly speak and his hearing was not as good as it was. He laid there, holding his arms out, saying “Help me, please” over and over again, and I could not do anything.

All that keeps playing through my head, over and over again, my father calling out for help, and I stood beside him holding his hand, completely devastated and helpless. I have an obsession with helping people, saving lives. I picture myself as some fireman hero someday. But, I could not even help my dad when he needed me the most? It has ******* destroyed me, I can’t get it out of my head. I don’t know what to do, i’m so ****** up in the head.

This open post was written 1 year, 9 months ago | V/U/S: 947, 4, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Post Tags (13)

Sign language, best friend, Completely, obsession, All That, morphine, language, comfort, Minutes, Holding, Cancer, death, dad (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (4)

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FireFlies offline Verified User (2 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 9 months ago (7 minutes after post)

Your father rests in peace now, he’s in the most heavenly place. Now my prayers goes to you and the rest of your family..

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mintra offline Verified User (3 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 9 months ago (1 hour, 6 minutes after post)

It was a help to your father, by you just being there.

Cancer is a growth, without growth non of us would be here, It sounds like the life you had with your dad was great, for him and you.

It may have stopped for him, but it has not stopped for you, so get out there and live.

I know that if he had recovered that is what he would have done.

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cricketbatbricket offline Verified User (1 year, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 9 months ago (1 hour, 22 minutes after post)

Dear Poster, i am 20 years old and my father died 11 years ago when i was 9. he died while we were swimming as he had respiratory conditions. i remember him telling me to yell for help, him praying for God to help him and how scared he was. 11 years later today, i still have that picture clear in mind and still wonder if there was anything that i could have done. im not going to lie to you. the pain never really goes away and that hole in your heart will always remain there. however,time heals the best way it can and with time you will get used to the situation and learn to live with the pain. you’ll learn to continue living your life and move on and letting go without forgetting. you are hurt, angry and disappointed and it’s only normal that you keep thinking over and over if you could have done something. the truth is that death is beyond anyone’s measures. you were by your father’s side till the end and he knows that. there is nothing you could have done. now you have to accept the situation and learn to let go. once you embrace life the way it is, you will be able to move on. don’t worry, the more time passes, the more clear things will be in your heart and in your head. have hope and be releaved that at least now your father is not suffering anymore and believe in God and the afterlife. the hope of a better world will get you through most hardships of life.

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barbyman offline Verified User (5 years, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 9 months ago (2 hours, 14 minutes after post)

He would have never ask you for Help.. His mind just wanted help from anybody .He was such a proud Men.Be glad he has peace….Slowly you will heal and slowly you will forget….

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