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I lost my dad 3 days ago(26th) from cancer.
He was 48 years old, and has been fighting it for 2 years. He was not only a father to me, but my best friend too. We did everything together, and we could relate on everything. After I fould out that he had only a couple of days left, I moved back in with my family to spend time with him. I would stay up all night with him, looking over him from 5pm-11am. On the morning he died, he woke up every 10-15 minutes saying “Help me, help me please”. I gave him water, changed his postion in his bed to avoid bed sores, let him know I was there. I did everything I could to try and comfort him, but he still called out for help. I called the nurses in, they gave him morphine, but that still did not help. At around 10:45am that morning, he passed away.
The day I arrived to spend time with my father, 15h of july, he was talkative as usual. We talked, played some games, and just hung out. 5-6 days later, the cancer took his voice, he was not able to talk properly, so it was hard to get him what he needed. I showed him how to communicate with us through sign language, so it would be easier to keep him as comfortable as possible. On the 24th, cancer took his eyes, and that was when it really started to hit me. My dad is slowly dying, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. At the end, he was blind, could hardly speak and his hearing was not as good as it was. He laid there, holding his arms out, saying “Help me, please” over and over again, and I could not do anything.
All that keeps playing through my head, over and over again, my father calling out for help, and I stood beside him holding his hand, completely devastated and helpless. I have an obsession with helping people, saving lives. I picture myself as some fireman hero someday. But, I could not even help my dad when he needed me the most? It has ******* destroyed me, I can’t get it out of my head. I don’t know what to do, i’m so ****** up in the head.
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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