friends help: okay, I have a note that I have to give to someone I need some - Help.com

lilangel639
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An Unknown Location

okay, I have a note that I have to give to someone I need some one to just tell me what they think…

Here is the story of why I have to give this person the note, last summer Michael, a boy who lives in my apartment complex, started flirting with me, it was actually the talk of the apartment complex, people were telling my mom that she had to keep an eye on us. well then my friend Doni, she is the one who is getting the note, came over for a visit, Michael ditched me to go flirt with her. when I noticed that he was flirting with her I told her and she said “Well he’s not my type” Doni was like a lil sister to me, she practically lived at my place last summer came every week and was there for 1 to 3 days and everytime she came michael went after her but when it was just me he came after me… well this summer I had a pool party for my birthday both doni and michael were there I finally got up the nerve to ask michael out and he not only rejected me but continued to flirt with doni right infront of my face… Doni then moved to alaska and I became close to michael again, I asked him out again and he said “I think doni is going to come back” I repeated to him what she had told me which was she wasn’t interested in him, he got mad and called me a liar, so I went home and messaged doni asking her if she would have told me if anything was going on between her and michael… she said “I finally told him that I actually do like him and we’ve been getting really close” and she never told me this! I was hurt and felt betrayed, I also felt really worthless cause this isn’t the first time that a guy has gone after one of my friends instead of me, I don’t like being second best but thats all I’ve ever been… I blew up at doni, I started yelling at her for having no consideration for my feelings and what not… we decided we would both ignore michael for the welfare of our friendship then my mom said we should still be friends with him… so we were still friends with him, then I became friends with benefits with him and doni found out… we got into another fight and I finally told her I don’t care anymore do what you want.. and she did she began going out with him, and didn’t even notice that I stopped talking to her… I figured it would blow over quickly because the only reason she liked him was because he called her beautifull all the time and what no, she just liked the compliments… my mom told me that doni was a terrible friend and wasn’t welcome at my house anymore, so I text her and told her what my mom said, told her she had to break up with michael or my mom wouldn’t let her come over again, I even told her if you choose michael thats okay as long as your happy… she chose me. and the next day she text me saying she couldn’t come back to las vegas because it would hurt to much cause michael was here… thats when I got pissed off again because I have to see michael everyday i can’t run away to alaska like she can and even if I could I wouldn’t cause I would be to ashamed of running away from my problems, which is exactly what she’s doing, she’s running away from michael and me and her mom in alaska, i don’t like running away from my problems and if the oprotunity came up to run away I wouldn’t I face them, in my eyes shes being a coward… but thats besides the point, I told her that breaking up with michael was completely useless then cause she’s never going to see me then, and she said “Why can’t you just come here to visit me?” and I told her I have two options for next summer, I can visit the 20 something family members who haven’t seen me since I was 9 in new york or I can go visit her in alaska, what is the obvious answer? and she still tried to convince me to go up there to visit her, again only thinking of herself, and then I atleast managed to convince her to come to las vegas again but she wouldn’t go anywhere near my apartment complex.. so the next day she tells me that I have been causing to much drama and that we need a break from our friendship we haven’t spoken in days… I know she will want to be friends again and when that happens thats when I will leave her this note.

Doni,
will I be your friend again? yes but will I be your sister? no I can’t trust you anymore you haven’t acted like a real friend and I’ve lost all trust and respect for you. After the way you have treated me and the disrespect you have shown my mom who has treated you like a daughter, I’ve lost all my respect for you, and yes I will miss our sister hood but not enough to pretend like none of this happened. I didn’t enjoy you telling my that I wasn’t being a good friend when you were the one who used me and hurt me. I blame myself or letting you in cause you know I usually don’t let anyone get close to me… you’ve hurt me enough, I’m sorry but you have ruined our friendship entirely.

some things I forgot to put up there odds are she is never going to see michael again if she comes down to vegas michael isn’t aloud to have girls in his apartment and her family doesn’t want her dating anyone anyway. and also after doni stopped talking to me michael came up to me and said this “I’m sorry, this is all my fault I wish I had realized how this would affect you and doni before things went this far. I’m really sorry for what i’ve done can you ever forgive me. I should’ve never been so stupid to come between you and doni like that, it was a huge mistake.” Doni doesnt realize she’s done something wrong but michael does? in my eyes that really proves that doni needs a serious reality check, sorry for this being so long thanks for the help.

This open post was written 1 year, 9 months ago | V/U/S: 1,052, 12, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post lilangel639 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. lilangel639 is a verified member, has been around for 3 years, 5 months and has 78 posts and 816 replies to their name.

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msean offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 9 months ago (12 minutes after post)

Sounds like a load of drama and everyone seems to be sorry for their mistakes besides you. You were friends with benefits with Michael yet you knew what tension this would cause between you and Doni(If you didn’t than that is your first mistake). I would step back and take a look at yourself in the mirror.

Saying you lost respect for someone can be huge, do you really want to lay that down on someone you care for? Obviously she is trying her best to be friends with you, yet you seem to want to shove her away.

P.S. put paragraphs in your main body next time, it was kind of hard to keep track on what was going on.

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lilangel639 offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 9 months ago (23 minutes after post)

sorry but yes I know I’ve done something wrong to, I mean the hole friends with benefits thing was terrible I know, and I apologised for that, i told her I was sorry and would stop it right then and there but she started telling me it was okay I could keep doing it and five seconds later started yelling at me about it, I know I did something wrong and I know i haven’t been the best of friends either, I tried to fix that, i tried to make everything work and I tried to just make it so we could be friends and she still flirted with him I mean I would look on her wall and see all these messages from him talking about how cute she is and how much he loves her and all this crap… and yes I have lost respect for her because all I’ve seen from her is her thinking about herself and haveing no consideration for me or anybody else for that matter, I mean think about michael for example he’s stuck thinking about a girl that odds were he was never going to see again hung up on her when he could be dating someone else and i’m not talking about me I just mean anybody! instead of waiting for something thats not going to happen,

yes I know I did something wrong, and I’ve apologized for it and I’ve tried to fix it and it just keeps blowing up in my face. I’ve tried everything I wouldve done anything for doni and the one time I asked for something in return I got nothing.

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lilangel639 offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 9 months ago (26 minutes after post)

a real friend wouldn’t have gone after him in the first place! not to mention she kept this from me! this isn’t my fault and she shouldn’t have gotten involved with him in the first place, thats just wrong and he was interested in me as long as she wasn’t around thats the real kicker he even said “I know she only likes me cause I compliment her”

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lilangel639 offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 9 months ago (33 minutes after post)

and also I was going to let her be with michael I was giving her what she wants and then my mom said she wasn’t welcome here anymore, I wouldve let things play out I wouldve let things be fine she wouldve broken up with him soon anyway cause she gets bored with guys way to easily i wanted to let her have what she wants and when my mom said that I knew I had to make her choose I even told her as long as she was happy i didn’t care who she chose.

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msean offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 9 months ago (36 minutes after post)

This situation as a whole is messed up though. I still don’t see how you can hold a grudge like this. You are still being selfish if you think that Michael should have been yours. Sorry but you can’t call “Dibs” on love. We are all human and attraction is something that is more complicated than just looks.

Honestly, I could care less for Michael so I don’t care if you are friends with him or what. I wouldn’t leave a best friend though, and it seems you guys have kept in good touch even though you two are separated from each other. I wouldn’t throw this all away and pronounce someone as not a real friend because of past mistakes. Trust might be broken here but can be rebuilt over time.

Just put this behind you and convince her to go to your place, the more she comes over and hangs out the less and less awkward it will be because Michael is near there.

Think through this carefully, you don’t want to regret something. In all the 22 years of my life I have only ever exiled one person from my friendship because they were challenging my beliefs and Morales beyond the point of just having a normal conversation.

And I speak with some sense to this, I was almost in the same situation as you. And that same friend is still my best friend and has been ever since the beginning of high school.

Everything should work out fine, everyone has to put forth some effort here.

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lilangel639 offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 9 months ago (36 minutes after post)

one last thing doni is not sorry for anything, she hasn’t apologized once to me, she hasn’t apologized to anyone. she has done nothing wrong in her eyes, as far as she’s concerned she is perfect

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lilangel639 offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 9 months ago (39 minutes after post)

I’m not calling dibs, I’m saying out of respect for me and my feelings she shouldnt have gotten involved with him actually I don’t care much for him either hell when it first happened I wanted to kill his sorry ***…

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lilangel639 offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 9 months ago (43 minutes after post)

btw doni is on this site so I’m kind of praying she doesn’t see this.

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lilangel639 invited 1 user to read this post 1 year, 9 months ago.

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lilangel639 offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 9 months ago (3 weeks, 4 days after post)

okay I’ve tried to ask her to be friends again, I’m reminding you it was HER decission to break everything off between us, and she hasn’t responded she will never speak to me again, and I know I can’t loose her I would rather die…. but I already have, so………. I’m empty now, ****** I hate michael I want him to burn and rot in hell! thats where he belongs he’s a worthless piece of **** who’s ruined my life, and now to make it even worse he asked me to take his virginity a few days after all this happened :( **** my life…

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lilangel639 offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (2 months, 1 week after post)

okay so me and doni made up…. but she’s still talking to him! am I the only person who sees how wrong that is?!

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