friends help: My friend’s brother sleeps in his mother’s bed and he is 12- he has his own bedroom with a bed in it. - Help.com



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My friend’s brother sleeps in his mother’s bed and he is 12- he has his own bedroom with a bed in it.

I think this is extremely unhealthy, but nothing is being done to stop this. I think this is something that needed to be resolved years ago, and needs to be stopped immediately. Am I right? What effects can this “bed arrangement” have on a boy who is nearing puberty?

This open post was written 1 year, 10 months ago | V/U/S: 1,653, 21, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Sparrowhawk offline Verified User (5 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (8 minutes after post)

Hmm, that does seem a little strange. Why does he sleep in her bed?

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barbyman offline Verified User (6 years) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (22 minutes after post)

Maybe his Bed is wet,from Nightmares he had….

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Sparrowhawk offline Verified User (5 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (42 minutes after post)

Anonymous wrote:
He just does- I think it’s his way of being close to his mom, and his mom doesn’t want her youngest kid to grow up.

Well, seeing as it’s your friend’s brother, I’m not sure there’s much you can do about it. It does sound odd to me…and it will need to stop eventually.
What does your friend think about it?

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Sparrowhawk offline Verified User (5 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (46 minutes after post)

Has she talked to her mother about this? And is her father present in this situation?

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mindhealer offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 52 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (53 minutes after post)

What does he say about what you and your friend think about it?

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Sparrowhawk offline Verified User (5 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (56 minutes after post)

Well, while it seems quite strange, maybe it just needs to run its due course. There’s a little boy I look after (he’s a little bit younger than your friend’s brother) who sometimes sleeps with his mother, and his father sleeps in another room. They’re weird sitations, but as we are not directly involved I don’t think we can really motivate change.
Hopefully soon his mother will realise that her son’s about to hit puberty and should be in his own bed, or the boy will stop wanting to sleep with his mother. It might be good for your friend to continue to try and discuss it with her mother if it’s an issue of concern to her.

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mindhealer offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 52 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (1 hour, 2 minutes after post)

Anonymous wrote:
We just think this is going to negatively impact future relationships he will have (or NOT have on account of this behavior).

I can imagine that you may be right. Maybe their mom would be happy at the suggestion that she check out a cool online ‘mother’ network, like this: http://www.mothering.com/community/fo…

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Sparrowhawk offline Verified User (5 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (1 hour, 10 minutes after post)

Anonymous wrote:
[quote Sparrowhawk]Hopefully soon his mother will realise that her son’s about to hit puberty and should be in his own bed, or the boy will stop wanting to sleep with his mother. It might be good for your friend to continue to try and discuss it with her mother if it’s an issue of concern to her.

I hope you are right. A 14 year old boy cannot possibly even FATHOM the idea of sleeping in the same bed as his mother (although you’d think a 12 year old boy would have the same feelings about that… haha).

Hah, I hope that becomes the case :)

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barbyman offline Verified User (6 years) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (1 hour, 43 minutes after post)

During the War in Germany they were holding Women and Children Prisinors of War in one Camp .The Germans were dumbfounded finding Women who were pregnat in the Camp with only young Children in the Compound.After a month they found out it was a 12 year old Gypsi Boy who done all the Damage……..

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The Sherlockian offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 26 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (6 hours, 54 minutes after post)

The mother is probably using him as a surrogate husband; not having sex, but wanting to feel a warm male body next to hers.

And, yes, in the dream state that both individuals will drift in and out of, it IS possible for something of a sexual nature to occur.

Does the 12-year-old WANT to sleep with his mother? Or is it all her idea?

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The Sherlockian offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 26 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (1 day, 19 hours after post)

Wonder where the child’s father is?

He really ought to say something to his ex-wife about this!

It’s very, very unhealthy and could cause grave psychological harm to the boy!

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The Sherlockian offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 26 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (5 days, 3 hours after post)

That’s too bad. The boy probably felt very insecure from early on.

But the mom knows better, and should end it NOW. She’s not doing him any favors . . . and if it continues until he’s 13 or 14, some real trouble could be in store for the two of them!

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laurie.1 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (8 months, 1 week after post)

he is probably afraid to sleep alone. my friends little brother sleep in the same room as her and consintly wakes up Screamimg and crying and the only way she can clam him down is by. laying with him and cuddling him until he fall asleep. mabye your.friends brother has the same thing

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Rplrice197 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (11 months after post)

My 20 yr brother sleeps with my mom ….its really weird

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