What experience have you had with this guy before the date? If none, than maybe you should invite him somewhere where you are a little more in control of your environment.
If he’s been rude and obnoxious other times, then I would say he fairly well blew his chances, right?
Anonymous
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2 years, 9 months ago (5 minutes after post)
“because it only reminds me that I am no longer with the man I love(d).”
is the line that stands out to me I’m afraid. Sounds like you need some time, not away from guys.. because flirting helps forget about this feelings and helps you eventually move on… but maybe away from the dating scene or thinking you’re ready to be in a relationship quite yet.
But also, yeah, sounds like a bad date also, thats a pretty big list of negatives to come out of one date, so probably best not to go on another date with him.
lol I can relate to your post. IN MY OPINION, if it were me, i wouldnt keep trying (at least with this guy). I’d break off this guy because it wouldn’t fair to drag this guy with when my heart is with someone else. My question is are you attracted to him on a romantic level? It doesnt seem like because you got that “icky” feeling. I think you know he likes you and you know in your heart you dont like him back, prob explains why you felt that way. anyways i liked reading your post and i think its best you let this guy go on about his life without you. well wishes in getting over your ex hun! =)
im sorry have you know this man for a while or did you recently meet him? and i agree alot of what happened would have annoyed me to the point that i probably wouldnt go out with him again. im not stuck up or anything but it seemed like he didnt think of you at all only himself.
It worries me that I’m being picky about stuff like his voice and his accent. I am generally a very easy-going person, and I just accept people as they are, so the fact that I’m being that irritated seems a tell-tale to me that something is wrong with me, and not with him. But there were so many other negative things as well, I just don’t know if it’s all coming from me or not.
I met this guy in my hiking group. We were walking together for a while and talking, and that was fine. Then he showed up at a lecture that I went to. I was a little irritated then by him — on the break, and after the lecture, he was hanging at my elbow immediately and I could only shake him by going to the women’s rest room.
I definitely wouldn’t date this one again, I guess my question was, should I keep trying in general, or take a break? And Jayedee8, I think you are totally right. It does feel icky because I know he is interested in me, and I am not interested in him. I don’t know why I didn’t realise that until you said it. Thank you.
And to the Anonymous poster, well pointed out. I think maybe if I didn’t take things quite so seriously, it’d all be easier. Though that would definitely be easier if the person I was hanging out with was not taking things so seriously.
Anonymous
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2 years, 9 months ago (51 minutes after post)
Don’t take this the wrong way (if there is a way lol) but you seem like one of those ‘naturally likable people’.. You don’t have to try to get people to like you.. which is maybe why you had that guy from hiking hanging by your elbow so quickly? Because us guys want to cling on to a nice girl when we find them in hope for a date, or at least a number. I agree, don’t take things too seriously, if anything have a bit of fun with it all, but if they start to get all weird n stuff, just be firm with them :)
Thanks, Anonymous :). I certainly hope I am a bit likable anyway. I haven’t dated much in my life, ’cause I was a geek when I was younger, and then I moved around, and was focused on school for a while. And when I’ve been in relationships, I’ve tended to just jump straight past the dating stage into….other stages ;-). Relax and have fun is probably the best advice in the world, and exactly what I needed to hear.
You are a nice person. im sorry about all that.he chews with his mouth open?oh no not good sick.how old is he, he should know better.its not all about him.he needs to get that…………im sorry better days….
Thanks, Crista. It means a lot that you would say that about me! And he is 35. He should definitely know better!
well sounds to me that you do need some time away from boys so you can think about what you want in life. if it is your true love, go back for him if he truely makes you happy. you should think wisley. if i was in your place i would see if my ex was still in love with me so we can be together. but then i am not one of those shy people. if i want to say some thing then i will. im not sure if you are a shy one and don thave the courage to ask but back to the subject. i would dumb the french guy and tell him i am not ready to have another boy friend just yet.
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He said that he thinks he loves me, but that he can’t be with me right now because he is going through too much crap in his life, and he knows that he can’t be there for me when I need him. And he gets upset if I try to ask him anything more, and then withdraws. He thinks he might be able to be with me in the future, but he isn’t sure how long, yadda yadda.
I need to get over him. That much is a fact. It’s just not easy for me to turn my feelings on and off. Especially if I can’t think of a good reason to hate him ;). Pathetic, aren’t I?
Im just saying.im 19 and i now bertter hes 35….its alittle sad but hey….better day for you…….
I think youre not ready yet for another relationship. take your time. All you need is time girl. Dont let these things upset you. Isnt it nice that some guys are there even after youre breakup. Look on the bright side. This may be a stepping stone.
That is good advice, but unfortunately, I am very impatient. I want to fix everything right now, and when I can’t, I get upset with myself. But I think you and kelsiloveschrisbrow are right. I should just relax, have fun, and not worry about boys for a while. Whatever happens, happens. Though that might be easier said than done!
Yes easier said then done,but that is why we take it one day at a time…
You can either teach him or throw him away and find someone better.Better still let them find you :)
You can teach him what you expect of him, tell him to eat his food with his mouth closed because you find it annoying. Ask him if he’s actually interested in you at all, and if he asks why tell him how he was talking about himself all the time.
If you did actually like this guy, then you should tell him everything that you’ve told us, communication, you need to talk to eachother. As soon as he does something you don’t like, tell him straight away. He won’t change if you don’t make him.
But obviously if you don’t actually love or fancy this guy, then just get rid of him. And ignore him.
If my mam was talking to me, and he interuppted,I would say, “sorry mam, what was that I couldn’t hear you, cos he was talking” That could give him a hint lol Then again thats how I am sometimes :p
Honestly, I think that you should give this guy one more chance and if it still goes badly then break it off. Then to figure out if you’re still in love and you should take a break from boys, then you should try another guy. Go on a couple of dates and if that doesn’t work then you should try being just single. You don’t need a man to always be in your life. Good luck
This comes from a 56 year old married male. Dump the guy for one he is:
Narcissistic (as they say in vocal warm up’s, “me, me, me”).
Has the manners of goat and even at that goat’s eat with their mouths closed.
Now if he comes from a wealth family I would drop him anyway. There are something’s you shouldn’t compromise on and one of them is a compatibility with another person. After all theoretically you are going to spend a lifetime with this person, be it male or female.
The only thing I can say is to “DUMP THIS GUY AND FAST”!!!!!!!
Thanks guys. I don’t think I want to give him another chance. I’m just not attracted to him to start with. And maybe that has to do with the messed-up state of my head, or maybe not, but I don’t think I can change that. And I definitely know I don’t have to be with someone at any time. I’ve been single for most of my life, I think it’s my natural state. In fact, before the last one, I’d been single for four years.
All you can do is take it one day at a time..
SOunds like someone is telling you that this guy is not the one for you. If he irritates you now, it will just be worse later!
dont feel to bad.. your only crime is that you think to much, if he is your ex, then it shouldent be hard for him to understand that you need your space. and at the same time you need to let him know what you are thinking, i personly cant stand men, but.. you know thay REALLY cant read your mind. if something about someone bothers you let them know about it, than maby there might be a change… then if there is no change then you have no need to deal with anything else reamber… hes your EX-boyfriend and you need not explane your-self to someone who has no say in your life anymore..
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yes i think you should keep trying…especially if you are getting over someone else…..its the best way to do so………….
There are plenty more fish in the sea!
if he can’t sing you might want to try to get tickets to a different show!
Yeah, that did sound like a lousy date! You’ll have that.
It’s up to you. Go out if you feel like it. Don’t if you don’t. Only you can know when you feel right about it. I agree to just have fun, and don’t take anyone too seriously, as well… You’re going through a transition right now. Keep your mind (and options) open.
And if you talk to your ex, you’re having a blast! :) (Even if you’re not really…)
Hee. Thanks, Arcane. Good words of wisdom!
I’ll have to agree with techtype. This guy is not worthy of the attention of a respectable lady such as yourself.
It sounds to me like you aren’t dating enough. It’s fine if you’re not over your ex and you need a break; but if you are dating, you need to start going on dates all the time with guys you actually like.
Some things that helped me: either datingwithoutdrama (online) or Christian Carter’s ebooks and stuff, also online.
Anonymous
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2 years ago (8 months, 3 weeks after post)
sounds like he’s just not your type. I would just move on.
well, as for the accent, i cant relate cause im from jersey and i love mine (i dont have a whiny voice tho, lol). but everyone has there preferences. if you dont like certain things about him, he is not for you. it sounds as if he is a little self centered which is not too good. ultimately, it is up to you. there are many men out there, many of which might be more compatible then he is. dont sell yourself short. kepp looking if your not into him. if you are, try to look past the little things and eventually you will accept them. hope this helps a little.
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