anymore help: I know what I should do —– the problem is I am 55 years old—-should I leave my husband my kids are going to get hurt. - Help.com

You deserve to be happy! You should leave your husband because its not fair for you to go through that. He isn’t a good man so he isn’t a good influence on your children. You should talk to someone you trust about whats been going on. It seems to me he has been nothing but a negative weight pulling you down. By leaving him you show your strong and you’re not taking his abuse any more!

Thanks for your reply. My husband should have been an actor. He is always nice to other people, specially ladies, very charming, nice looking . No one will believe me if I told them what he is like towards me. He will now swear at me and if someone else walks in he will put his arm around me.

It’s not too late for you to be happy. Get the hell out of that relationship and carry on with your life. Divorce is never easy on kids, but neither is seeing a father verbally abuse a mother.

Anonymous wrote:
Thanks for your reply. My husband should have been an actor. He is always nice to other people, specially ladies, very charming, nice looking . No one will believe me if I told them what he is like towards me. He will now swear at me and if someone else walks in he will put his arm around me.

Just get out of the marriage then. Its no ones business anyway. Even if they don’t see what he does, you do!

You should be happy, just explain it to the children - but I’m sure they would have picked up on his behaviour.

I can tell you from the child’s perspective. It is never easy, it is hard, but as long as you take the time to explain what is happening and listen they want the best for you. Kids know when their mum is unhappy.

Anonymous wrote:
Thanks for your reply. My husband should have been an actor. He is always nice to other people, specially ladies, very charming, nice looking . No one will believe me if I told them what he is like towards me. He will now swear at me and if someone else walks in he will put his arm around me.

My parents were a lot like you and your husband. To my knowledge, my dad never cheated, but he was a terrible man. He was always yelling at and hitting me and my younger sisters (one’s mentally disabled) and making my mom cry. He was a decent enough man when he wasn’t angry, but his short temper made us afraid of him.

In public, my dad is the complete opposite! He’s the office clown, everyone’s best friend, kind, helpful, you name it. But at home he’s a tyrant. My family was so under his thumb, that I almost ran away just so I could go to college. Now that I’m no longer living with my family, I’m so much happier!

You need to leave him. For both yourself and your kids. The kids won’t get hurt, in fact they will be so much better off! My parents were always fighting, my dad was always yelling and hitting, and my mom was always crying…it was TERRIFYING! I was scared to go home, and I wasn’t allowed to leave or talk about it to anybody. I really wish my parents had gotten a divorce. Your kids will be happy to be out of that environment–trust me, I know.

Leave him! Of course! As soon as possible.
Start a new life!
Don’t worry about your kids. They are old enough to understand it.

The children will be hurt by seeing you stay in an abusive relationship too. They need to see you as strong, and that will happen when you stand up for yourself and quit letting him cheat on you, call you names, and push you around.

i’d say either start liking it or leave. kids’ll be ok

Truthfull, I don’t think anyone should tell you what to do. How do you feel about your situation. Is there love worth savaging? Does you husband realize how you feel. Sometimes abusive people view thier attitude as just the way they are and don’t pay attention to others feelings. I think you have a lot of life left and if someone will not appreciate you then you might have to change your situation. Unless you have very young children they should not even be in the equation as they don’t have to take the abuse. Best of luck