friends help: Is it normal… - Help.com

Well, not going to lie it can happen but it’s like giga rare, im telling you. For people like that who’s probably moved on I know you may want to get with them and they may cross your mind sometime but it’s probably best to let them be, maybe you can say hi to them if you two have a mutual relationship like saying hi when you pass each other but other then that, it’s over it was back then (no disrespect intended) but you know what im saying.

STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM!!!

Whenever he crosses your mind, think about something else instead. Read a book, go for a walk, listen to music he hated, go places he didn’t enjoy, hang with friends he didn’t know.

You can’t spend your life obsessed with a ghost or a memory. He is gone, and you have to move on.

(reminding myself while telling you, because I’m still missing a friend who left our friendship the same way a few months ago.)

I don’t know if he was the first person that you liked but every person they always think of people early in life they liked at some point especially if it was their first, as it’s the one who awakened the feelings inside of them. But just remember, though it’s hard at first to think of, there’s always someone better, always. You find one person who may be the stuff at the moment, a few years later you meet someone else and they are several times more and have alot more to show then the earlier edition. Im telling you don’t feel bad though it may not come tomorrow someday you’ll find someone much better, guarrantee it.

I think it just shows that you have an incredible capacity for loving someone. Maybe you always will love this man. I think it’s natural to always love someone we’ve loved before. Though through time it does change and we’re able to open our hearts to someone new, when we’re ready. Don’t rush yourself. Just give yourself the time you need to get over it. Right now, focus on loving yourself and giving yourself what you need to get through this.

It may be that you still love him or it could be that the sudden nature of the split right at the point while you were still loving him could contribute. In a lot of breakups it is incredibly sad and difficult, but there is an air of inevitability around it. You loving him, the suddenness of it ending and his abrupt departure from your life could all leave a hurt dent in your life that is not easy to get over.

You will in time though, it might just take longer than the average break up. I agree with the other posters, you shouldn’t have him in your life, you can do better and it would just more than likely open up old wounds that you need to heal

your probably holding onto a romantic dream.You need to view it as just that a dream.

If you loved someone you don’t just stop loving that person one day… the feelings remain though the intensity may diminsh.

I agree with Spiratec9 that you have romanticised this man and hence keep going back to him… he is your addiction in a way… maybe the fact that he is still unavailable to you despite your past is what taunts you and makes your thoughts wander to him… So many explanations for your behaviour but you may notice that they are all unhealthy… if you want to find a happy healthy relationship with someone you need to find a way to really let go of this man.

And girl, you ain’t the only one okay… I’ve been there… most of us have that thing of the one who got away ;)

i think its a journey. i’ve been though it, and not just for a year or two but for many many years. i just recently stopped loving him anymore. it’s a growth process, and i realized i’ve grown to be a completely different person now after so many years. and he’s just another person now. we’re still friends, but i’ve moved on, and rarely ever think about him. you’ll forget him too, when you’ve grown, when the purpose of this journey is reached. until then, just let it be. let yourself feel whatever it is its feeling…